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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

possibly very difficult for him to trackback from his own lies now

I am starting to suddenly wonder now that in this past year, I think
he went RECKLESS with so many more lies to his "friends" about how I
was after him while he humbly refused being the great wonderful good
fiance and husband that he is and he possibly also PRIVATELY SHARED my
intimate emails to THIRD PARTIES..who possibly fuckily read all those
emails like creeps instead of saying, "hey, this is someone else's
letter and I must not read it "..I know he did share some letters with
that nosy lady back then..the lady who wonders why she faces such
hardships in life for no reason(lady ,maybe the fact that you were so
ready to harrass the very woman whom you once sought medical help from
on DM,,maybe karma gets to you, maybe?)
I knew, he sent her my emails, the emails that were sacred and
personal between us, to some fucking nosy third party,, coz he
publicly tweeted about sending her my emails and I have
SCREENSHOTS..infact i keep all his ugly insulting tweets towards me as
screenshots in a folder I call the "reality check folder", so that
each time I see myself slipping back into missing him, I go , open up
that folder and then a reality check happens, feels like a slap in my
face for having reached out to him back then..
Now I am thinking, in this year of me having gone awol on my blogs and
twitter PRIMARILY coz I was getting annoyed at his frequent visits to
my blogs..I am like, :"dude, when you brand other people as stalkers,
then you must stop visiting their blogs even after months of them not
talking to you " but no, the man, has a public face and a private
face...and ofcourse I have screenshots of his visits to my blog
too..again, for the sake of my REALITY CHECK FOLDER that I watch ever
so often when i MISS HIM TOO MUCH..(yeah there must be something
really wrong to actually miss a person..or maybe the pain of what he
did is so ugly and sad that I want to reach out and talk to him and
try TO OVERLAY NEWER fonder memories over all that ugliness..I am

now i figure, in this year of me going awol, he went beserk in his
smear campaign over me or some such,,coz i GET THE ODDEST of visitors
, checking out the oddest blog entries , ya know..I know who that
person is and I am wondering , why they are still visiting my blog
when they are on his side of the fence..WHAT THE FUCK...WHY?SNOOPY,
INFACT, THE whole things got too much for me, to a point , that i
wanted to somehow stop it ..either by having a nice conversation to
check if he visits because he misses me or some such, (silly me, still
trying to romanticize an ugly happening in my life..the guy threw me
under the bus..and I still miss him and I still want to query if he
misses me? truth too much of a bitter pill to swallow for me?)
anyways, now he has possibly said so many more convenient lies and
tarnished my image some more, that EVEN IF HE MISSED ME LIKE CRAZY, he
cannot own it up in public without coming across as a liar..
so, yeah, that is what a LIAR gets, an inability to even reconnect
with someone they dearly miss each day..coz they have to keep up
appearances with "friends"
ps, in the process of you and your friends visiting and snooping over
my blogs and tweets and everythings else, you are just NOT LETTING ME
BE...wasn't that public violation enough? do i need the sneaky
humiliation each day by way of your blog visits? if at all YOU ARE
YOU..I can understand the missing part , coz inspite of all this shit,
I miss you too,, like a fucking idiot in stockholm syndrome..
have the courage to email back or shut the fuck up and STOP KEEPING

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