When i visited a food blog and there was a picture of this very pretty girl making faces
at the camera and her old bourdain husband smugly smiling for the
camera as well in the backdrop of that picture... and down in the comments some young girl leaves a comment which says " Soul mates probably? I want to be HER when I grow up"
WTF!!...So, all young girls are now aspiring to be 33 years olds who really just get married to a 56year old rich man and barely get time to spend with him? THAT IS the definition of being A SOULMATE thesedays?WTF !
After seeing that pic, I had to go google both her name and her husband's name to find their ages first...and then had to go read Anthony's tumblr blog and some other interviews of his wife...just to get a gist of "what exactly is the deal" with this couple old enough to be father and daughter ( I don't want readers to start yapping-love knows no age and other such bullshit..coz love that expects sex back is a very CONDITIONAL LOVE...)
Coming back to their ages,
How old is Anthony Bourdain?
56 yrs old
How old is his current wife?
33..Half his age...33 years younger than him !!!!!!
Geeezus...I am 33.
This awareness of the age difference between them kinda made me shake my head a lil bit in DISAPPROVAL!
..and 56-33=33? double her age and 30 years older?Again, another shake of head...It is not like 15 and 30, where 30 is double the age of 15 but atleast the guy has a few years of youth left in him..we are talking of 33 and 56...seriously!
And then I read an interview of his wife, some kind of valentine day special for being a chef's wife (fuck all media glorification of VICARIOUS PRIDE of a housewife who is praised and applauded and interviewed for fucking a man who has achieved something in his life.Did she personally train him to be a chef or personally train him to be a good writer? FUCK NO.she has no part in his talent,,so why exactly is she being interviewed for being his wife?coz she is fucking him?)
The housewife is praised FOR NO PERSONAL achievements of her own but just for the fact that she is having sex with a man who achieved something in life.
That is like insulting to womanhood in general and I ABHOR social practices that DON'T ENCOURAGE women to have achievements of their own that are independent of their spouse or family and yet enables women to develop egos proportionate to their sexual partner's achievements.
In the intro to her interview a DELIBERATE EFFORT is made to glorify her personality, to glorify her "VARIOUS RESTAURANT jobs/POSITIONS" and they even casually mention as part of the narrative as to how she is much more active in the restaurant business than even her chef husband is(as if to give her some identity and credibility) ,yada yada ..Just to make her LOOK more important and to MAKE HER ex-JOBS LOOK SIGNIFICANT enough to warrant an INTERVIEW.
BUT IF YOU LOOK AT IT CLOSELY, after having taken off your rose tinted glasses, all she is is someone who immigrated from Italy to the US( ILLEGALLY or legally, I have no idea),worked as whatever she worked as at some restaurants and caught the attention of a 50 year old chef, had his child and then now learns ju-jitsu and won a silver medal in a competition.
She never attempted to learn JU-JITSU while she was in ITALY...why?She possibly spent two or more decades of her life in ITALY not having learned any martial art.WHAT WAS SHE DOING ALL THOSE YEARS IN ITALY?
Given the fact that she is capable of winning a silver medal in it,SURELY she must have had that talent HIDDEN INSIDE OF HER all the time of her childhood that she spent in italy.
How come she never took any martial arts classes while in ITALY?
Because , italy has a very FEMALE DISCRIMINATORY CULTURE.
Women are GOOD women if they just cook and clean for the family and have no identity of their own .
ITALIAN culture is gender abusive towards women.It schematically uses ORGANIZED RELIGION -CATHOLIC CHRISTIANITY to control and abuse women and limit them to kitchens and bedrooms as cooks,sexual concubines and caretakers of children aka HOUSEWIFE .
The women in italy barely get any other opportunities other than the opportunity to be SEXUALLY USEFUL to a discering man..WHOSE children she bears and takes cares of .
Coming back to OLD BOURDAIN'S YOUNG WIFE..she is a product of ITALY...The whole time she grew up in ITALY,the atmosphere must have been so suffocating and discouraging for her to not even REALIZE that she had a TALENT in martial arts...HOW SAD!
It is only after she came to the US and then after she got pregnant and after she married him and after he kept leaving her alone at home while he went on his work travel trips and after her daughter got old enough to spend time in school, WHERE SHE WAS FINALLY LEFT WITH HOURS AND HOURS OF IDLE TIME where her livelihood and spending money needs were already being taken care of by her working husband...it is ONLY WHEN she finally came face to face with THIS IDLE TIME, that she went on to take JU-JITSU classes..
Given that she was a TV PERSONALITY'S WIFE..she was able to hire a COACH that gave her FULL ATTENTION AND PRIVATE CLASSES(private classes, so many other women equally talented in martial arts don't get the opportunity to afford).
There are thousands and thousands of women just like her with hidden talents THAT NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY coz they are stuck in social conditioning that doesn't AFFORD FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION OR ASKING FOR RIGHTS...and finances don't allow them to pursue them either.
so, yeah, coming back to topic on hand,
THE BOURDAIN FAMILY,
Why did she not learn ju-jitsu for 32 years of her life?
What was she doing all these years in her childhood and youth in ITALY?
why is ITALY SO GENDER DISCRIMINATORY?
Is ju-jitsu supposed to be a financially dependant idle rich wife's hobby to pursue?(Again, NOT TO TAKE AWAY ANY CREDIT for her winning a silver medal, good for her,whatever)
The point here is ,
I am a female physician.I paint, I dance, I write, I photograph , and I do much much much more than her.I AM JUST HER AGE, I AM 33 TOO...and there are so many OVER ACHIEVER WOMEN LIKE ME IN AMERICA AND THE WORLD...We are GROSSLY UNDER-REPRESENTED IN PUBLIC TV AND POPULAR MEDIA..while the mediocre achievers are GLORIFIED..
This kind of over glorification of FEMALE UNDER ACHIEVERS in popular media causes so much young viewers to underestimate the zenith of female achievement that is possible in the united states or the world.IT IS BEING SUBCONSCIOUSLY DRILLED into young minds that THIS IS ALL women can achieve.
THIS MAKES ME ANGRY..because, then a new wave of girls in the younger generation that don't have proper female role models otherwise in their life are being made to believe by popular media that they need to be the letch object of another man or have a big butt to EARN MONEY .
They are being made to believe that marrying a rich old man who is 33 years your senior is ACCEPTABLE and being a financial dependant housewife is acceptable.
An old man might take a liking to a young woman, and even decide to be her mentor, but why must they start having SEX? Can't an old man just have the heart to just mentor and help her without expecting sex back?
IS THERE NO SENSE OF APPROPRIATENESS HERE? An old man marries a young woman to give her a rich lifestyle...how come there are no old women marrying young men ...like really young men and give them spending money in return for the sex?
Being a pretty young woman myself, I have been shocked so many times when I WOULD REACH OUT AND BE FRIENDLY to old men coz they would remind me of my own father and I miss my parents...and the old men would then have the audacity to start expressing sexual interest in me...THE FACT THAT THEY THOUGHT THAT THEY CAN RIGHTFULLY EXPECT SEX FROM ME, speaks loads about AMERICAN SOCIAL CONDITIONING where men are allowed to feel entitled to TOO MUCH...michael douglas marrying this young welsh lady and now very recently great granpa hugh heffner marrying that young girl...what the fuck...such popular cases SEND THE WRONG MESSAGES to young girls....
GOLDEN RULE:IF YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO BE SOMEONE'S PARENT(if you are 12-14 years or more older than someone, you are old enough to be their parent), DON'T TRY TO GET SEXUALLY INVOLVED WITH THEM..
friendships don't have age limits but please DON'T RUIN it be wanting to have sex or having sex with someone who is older or younger by more than 14 years of age..SUCKS ASS.THAT IS WHY.
...MAKES ME SAD.
ANYWAYS COMING BACK TO TOPIC ON HAND,
A YOUNG GIRL growing up in today's world,reads a food blog, looks at some 33 year old uneducated immigrant getting married to a 56 year old rich chef man and thinks that THAT IS WHAT A SOUL MATE IS ,,BREAKS MY HEART...
What are we teaching our young girls these days?
Surely, this young girl, hasn't seem more women achievers who have achieved 100 times more than what some chef's wife has achieved...MAKES ME SAD
What this article has done is glorify SOME CHEF'S WIFE to the status of some GENIUS MARIE CURIE!
In reality, thousands and thousands of VERY SMART OVER-ACHIEVER WOMEN DO EXIST IN TODAY'S WORLD in THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND THE WORLD...but very little people know of them...out of sight, out of mind....
TELEVISION AND MOVIES AND POPULAR MEDIA AND INTERNET choose to glorify the housewives and other such idiots , while the real achievers don't get any PUBLICITY AT ALL...
Hmmmmm...Interviews do present "rosy pictures" of things/people/lives
that aren't that glory worthy .
In the interview Bourdain's wife mentions something about spending time
alone FOR MOST PART and on occasional holidays he comes home and
spends time with the family or some such.
They don't even really have a COMMON LANGUAGE OF COMMUNICATION...Given that she is an italian immigrant to this country, she barely speaks good english.
Our Anthony Bourdain, IS A MAN OF WORDS..So many words that he writes books...he is so full of thoughts.
They obviously don't even have a common language of communication where they could talk and talk , TILL THEY COMMUNICATE like there is nothing left to communicate.
it is not like SHE IS A SUPER CHEF, HE IS A SUPER CHEF, so they might not have a language of communication , but have the same passion or profession or some such.
They don't even HAVE TIME to spend with each other..they barely get time.
So,WHAT KIND OF AN UNFULFILLED relationship is that? BARELY GET TIME FOR ANYTHING TOGETHER? and even if they did, there is such stark contrast in personality and culture shock to boot.
And to think that a young girl on a food blog watches their pic and gets the idea that THIS DYSFUNCTIONALITY IS WHAT YOU DEFINE AS BEING A SOULMATE...whoa!!!
so, bourdain's GIRL WIFE, also makes a backhanded remark about him in the interview (which I personally view as PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PUTTING DOWN that comes out of insecurity) about him.
she says " he can't cook Italian though he is okay with cooking meats" (As such most italians do this kinda of snub remarking about food.An italian's view on food is TELESCOPIC on so many levels, but that is topic for a blog on my vegetarian blog, not the anger blog....)
coming back to the topic on hand
I view such RELATIONSHIPS as theirs' as dysfunctional..
For me,spending time talking each day is what a FUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP is made of.
FOR PEEPS WHO LIKE FLOWCHARTS, I MADE ONE,
SO,you can skip everything I WROTE ON TOP AND COME DOWN RIGHT TO THE GIST OF ALL THAT BABBLE
I see the sequencing of their relationship as follows
A previously married and divorced 56 year old man( or given they already have a 4 yrs old daughter together ,maybe he was 52/50 when they met)
he goes to restaurants
sees a pretty ITALIAN IMMIGRANT "GIRL" who is pretty, and is working "various job
descriptions " at the various restaurants,
they barely spend a few hours here and there dating and to quote her own words about their courtship, "we used to have dates in the middle of nights after work shifts"
and she gets pregnant
chooses to go through with the pregnancy(unplanned pregnancy I am guessing, or maybe she planned it ,who cares)
and they quite easily just get married.
Her daugher gets old enough to go to school
Husband goes traveling as part of his work
Too many idle hours in the afternoon
ju jitsu classes
Silver medal (out of how many participants , I have no idea)
Now she has ju jitsu as her background page on her social media pages..
suddenly, after three decades of NOT REALLY HAVING AN INDIVIDUAL IDENTITY...suddenly, a struggle to PROJECT A PERSONAL IDENTITY IN THE FORM OF A JU JITSU BACKGROUND PAGE
When a PERSONAL IDENTITY becomes a fashion statement in rich wife circles, every idle rich wife suddenly wants to have a job of her own?A person with a REAL SENSE OF SELF IDENTITY would not have waited 33 years before she got one .
Now, she wants her husband to alter his work travel itinerary so that she can include her ju jitsu travels into his work schedule? DOES THE PRODUCTION COMPANY approve of this ?
WTF? *( A truly ITALIAN tendency,,ya know.Bend the work rules to suit personal needs.Why must bourdain's work itinerary ACCOMODATE her ju jitsu travels? THOROUGHLY UNPROFESSIONAL IN MY OPINION)
Older celebrity men getting young convenient wives. or men forgetting to wear a condom and then feeling obligated to marry the BABY MOMMA...again, maybe he likes to have a pretty young woman as a wife...again...who knows what.
Now,she is a vicarious jet setter with him and suddenly a ju-jitsue champion who won a silver medal in some competition with only seven months of training.
I mean...if she was so talented in ju-jujitsu..what the hell was she doing wasting 33 years of her life not pursuing it any earlier..what a waste of talent for 33 years !
COMING BACK TO THE TOPIC OF DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS,
It is so easy to be a couple when you hardly ever meet OR spend time together.
The real incompatibilities come to light only when YOU SPEND CONSIDERABLE TIME WITH EACH OTHER..
If you barely get an hour a month, any odd couple can survive the NAMESAKE RELATIONSHIP.
The more time you spend, the more it becomes necessary that there is REAL COMPATIBILITY in order for the relationship to survive.
When you barely have alone-time together..any odd lay would do?
I am talking about both of them here...for both of them , is this pseudo-relationship convenient?I am sure NEITHER of them is FULFILLED..Again, MAYBE THEY ARE ...who knows.
ANYWAYS..enough of her interviews.
Now about how he HIMSELF portrays his relationship with his far too young wife.
OFTENTIMES,media personalities or CHEFS hosting TV programs are encouraged by the production companies or sponsors TO PROJECT A GLAMOROUS ROSY IMAGE OF THEIR PRIVATE LIVES..just to fool the viewers..
In my opinion,the viewers really should not be bothered about his personal life at all,especially since his TV shows are about food and his commentary on food and life..
I happened to read Anthony Bourdain's blog on tumblr too, and then found one article about Beirut .
He talks about how tough it was to get that particular episode over and get it ready to be broadcast and then throws in a line there saying " When I returned home, that night my daughter was conceived"
I am like "OOOOOkay.?....hmmmmmm, how romantic! "
And then my PHYSICIAN BRAIN STARTED working and questioning the CREDIBILITY of this statement.
Apparently the trip to beirut for shooting an episode of NO RESERVATIONS was nerve wracking for the whole team due to the shootings and lock down or curfew in BEIRUT that took place while they were there.
Bourdain blogs about this saying that He came back home and on that very night/day of his
coming back home, he claims , his daughter was conceived by his wife from him?( I am only paraphrasing what anthony bourdain wrote himself on one of his recent blog entries on tumblr about the conception)
Hmmmm...So, ONE SHOT INSEMINATION,and fertilization?
I am a physician, so I am like,
This man is OLD(56 years old),
he is an ex chain smoker,
obviously drinks on almost all of his TV episodes and outside of it too,
also,He just underwent a very recent episode of immense stress in beirut..
All of the above mentioned factors of drinking and stress would make someone's semen sample NOT SO VIRILE in my opinion.
And even if anyone's semen is full of virile spermatozoa ready to fertilize, all raving to go, surely,Did just ONE SINGLE ATTEMPT Do THE TRICK?
I am starting to think, He kinda EITHER OVER-ROMANTICIZED the child conception story of his daughter... all movie style...where the hero soldier returns all victorious and immediately proceeds to impregnate his wife
He got his facts wrong about when exactly the conception happened..
Pinpointing it to the very day? Bllaaaaah
I mean, Did he return on the exact same day that his wife was ovulating?
There is only a 72 hr window for ovulation, and wow..
she was ovulating exactly when he came back all stressed out ?
"ITS A BABY GIRL !!!"
SOUNDS LIKE A MOVIE PLOT.
I am sure that yet another young girl or boy who read that particular blog entry about the conception of his daughter also then proceeded to make it their life's mission to get pregnant after a trip to beirut..
YOUGSTERS these days have ridiculous role models and such LOWLY life goals.geezus!
NOBEL PRIZE winners DON'T get as much media coverage AS these reality show and travel show hosts...sad
This is not a personal attack on BOURDAIN or his young wife .
This is just a A SOCIAL COMMENTARY on the sorry state of women's affairs in this country...where young girls have NO GOOD FEMALE ROLE MODELS
where, today's young girls are putting the AMERICAN WOMEN'S SUFFRAGE to shame by throwing away the opportunities that their women foremothers FOUGHT HARD to achieve...
It is also a social commentary on the GENDER DISCRIMINATORY PRACTICES of ITALY...and gender discriminatory social conditioning in the US that MAKES such relationships not only socially acceptable but something that youngsters aim to make their life's goal.
It is also a social commentary on how popular media is DOING A DIS-SERVICE TO authentically talented smart, super smart women by CHOOSING TO ONLY POPULARIZE WOMEN with mediocre or even NON-existent ACHIEVEMENT/talents...leading to young minds getting the impression that women are idiots in general.It is always funny to note how Donald trump deliberately will choose very very UNTALENTED DUMB women to participate in his GAME SHOW and then, it is but natural that THESE WOMEN will lose out in the competition AND THEN there is this general idea that is subconsciously drilled in the viewers head that WOMEN ARE DUMB and they always lose out to men...
WHY DID I TAKE PAINS TO WRITE SUCH A LONG ARTICLE?THIS IS WHAT I SEEK TO SAY
Dear young girls of the world,
a/you have a right to a great education..
b/Please go to college, get a college degree...get a job of your own, ( a job that doesn't involve men leching at you.....modelling and bikini modelling doesn't count as a real profession in my opinion, it is just getting paid for by the male letch)...
c/Please don't marry a man who earns more or less than you...
A richer man is going to use the money to control you and
a poorer man is going to use you as a sugar mommy.
MARRY AN EQUAL, an intellectual and spiritual equal (the same rule of marriage applies to men too)
d/The tv, newspapers, internet social media MUST GLORIFY and bring to light, THE REAL WOMEN ACHIEVERS..not some idiot with a big butt and zero brain or some wife of some male achiever...
AS A SMART FEMALE PHYSICIAN, having to witness this sorry state of affairs makes me not want to have NOT children at all..If I have a daughter she will have to grow up in this gender abusive environment....and I WANT MY FUTURE DAUGHTERS TO GROW UP IN A GENDER NEUTRAL ENVIRONMENT.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!