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I set out to write some articles on this blog so that I can purge out
all the negativity from my soul .
well,three articles in the ALL ABOUT MR.GREEN series, and I FEEL DRAINED.
I feel drained emotionally and EVEN MORE TIRED AND SADDER than when i
set out to write the series.
I feel drained because each time I set out to write stuff, I START CRYING.
I also feel stupid that I AM CRYING FOR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED YEARS
AGO, and the person responsible for that experience is THICK SKINNED
enough to not even realize the thankless damage he has done to me.
He has a warped-up,self-serving mode of analysis of things where all
women are crazed idiots out to get him and ofcourse he is the victim!
Neither of us are the victim because both of us voluntarily participated in it.
I FEEL DRAINED mainly coz I AM PHYSICALLY CRYING each time I am typing
out stuff and tears have tons of moisture and valuable protein laden
Frequent and repeated crying only make me DEHYDRATED AND I START
HAVING LOW IMMUNITY as a result of the immunoglobulin loss.
So,for now, I am taking a break from typing out that series..
P.S:why is this affecting me so much even years after?
Maybe I have some OCD kinda personality.An OCD style personality might
make me a great reasearcher in science ,where I keep pursuing my
research till I find the results I want to find and thus my OCD STYLE
RESEARCH might make me a great candidate for the NOBEL PRIZE,,but, but
, in emotional issues,sometimes, SOME VERY PAINFUL EXPERIENCES NEED TO
BE COMPLETELY left behind and forgotten and erased..
So,gosh..why can't I MOVE ON!
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