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Tuesday, September 17, 2013

A SUM TOTAL OF TEARS-I failed in my judgement!

This Blog article is creative property of Dr.A.R aka LecinQblog.This blog article originally was written for and is meant to appear on any one of the blogs in this list .If you find this blog article anywhere other than on BLOGSPOT,please visit my original blog,find my email address and email me with details of where else you read this blog entry.All my blogs are AD-free blogs AND I completely frown upon someone else trying to make money off my blogs without my prior written permission.

This blog entry is part of the "All about MR.GREEN" SERIES.All names have been concealed in an effort to protect my own privacy and and also protect the identity of all other parties that are described in these blog articles.
None of these articles are meant as an effort to win back anyone or reconnect with anyone.None of these articles are meant to invade anyone else's privacy or meddle with their current lifestyle either.
These articles are just my effort to purge out all my bad,sad feelings about this person that still are deep rooted in my soul.These blog articles are just so that i can DETOX myself of so much heartache,feelings of second guessing myself and my judgement,the sadness,hurt,yearning and missing someone -that came with my having interacted with this person.I highly regret that I ever made his acquaintance, coz now I am left with a deep dent in my heart and soul and I feel DAMAGED .
Damage that he can never UN-DO !
In feb,2010, wrote me a very endearing emotional email.Probably, his only email that he ever wrote to me which was not a reply to an email I wrote him.We had stopped emailing for almost a month by then.And,out of the blue I received this email,full of heartfelt words from him.
I read it and cried.Then,I decided that given the whole situation,I need to just NOT reply.So,I exercised MUCH RESTRAINT on my desires AND didn't reply to the email.
But,as days went by,I just kept thinking about him more and more and more..And by may ,of 2010,I really had to talk to him.
So,I wrote him an email.He never replied.Given that he wrote such an emotional email just months ago,I was so sure,he would write a gushing reply email once he got my email.So,the fact that he never replied surprised me,COMPLETELY.
So,I thought to myself,"maybe,he didn't get my email.maybe,I must tweet him".
I did tweet him and surprisingly,I got a very lukewarm reply ,which surprised me even more.
What happened next is what you would PROVERBIALLY call ,"When the shit hit the fan"!
All this happened in 2010,and now in 2013,as I sit down to type out a blog entry about those incidents,the minute DETAILS seem to have already faded in my brain.I am trying really hard to recall the exact sequence of incidents, and I utterly fail.This surprises me too.
What now remains is A SUM TOTAL OF TEARS each time i recall what happened back then.The residual feeling of this whole experience has been,"years of heartache" for me.
I am pretty sure,given how has behaved since after his feb 2010 email,it is pretty evident he doesn't care one way or another.
I have failed in making an accurate understanding of who he really is or was and what he really wanted or didn't want. I FAILED in my judgement .

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