Procrastination and Family drama,genetics and the blame game

Jason writes a blog and each blog entry always evokes spontaneous comments from me.In fact, I mull over the blog content in my head for days and then go back and post further comments.
We have a beautiful commenters community there on his blog who all write in with their own personal views on the topic of the blog and reading the other comments also is such a fulfilling experience.
So yeah, this time jason wrote about procrastination and was taking about his grampa and pa and about how procrastination runs in the family and about soybean fields in the backyard and about the blame game we all play to get away with procrastination and such.
I left three comments for him there and I felt that these comments of mine qualify of blog entries.Here they are :
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My comments
1/

Le cinq blog said...

Okay, You gotta lay off the Pot. Seriously, You gotta do it.Cannabis is a mind altering drug. Please,stop using weed or pot!

Secondly,you look super sexy in that picture.

Thirdly,I got so tired of constantly coming over and checking if you wrote a new blog that I started procrastinating on my own blogging as well.

Hmmmmm.wow, You had soybean fields in your backyard? How do soybean fields look though.Any pics you can share? Being vegan now, soy gives me my iron and protein and what not.Would love to see pics of soybean fields.

Yeah, no use blaming planets or stars. Blaming anyone or anything is a sign of a loser. I blame a lot too when i lose out or don't fulfill my goals and i have learned that blame goes nowhere.

Wow, this blog was just plainly profound and scratched the surface of untouchable topics in my deeply buried psyche.

I think I am gonna repost this comment on my blog just to get me going and update all of my blogs which btw I haven't updated in the past 2 weeks.sheesh

In my opinion we all procrastinate as an escape from a painful place in our minds. As an escape from a lack of motivation. Ya know. or prolly lack of confidence.
Someone once sent me a note about how procrastination is all about perfectionism. Ya know, you keep postponing it coz you want to do a perfect job of it but then the pity part of it all is this perfect time never comes sometimes.
Anyways, jase, hugs to you ,blog more often will ya.Keeps me going.Even if it just airport pictures or silly touristy stories and such.
hmmmm...

April 26, 2009 5:05 PM

Le cinq blog said...

I just read the 80 comments above mine and atleast three kids are procrastinating on their exam preparation while reading this blog.LOL
But yeah, hundred percent of us commenters have also admitted that we are procrastinators as well. I think all humans are procrastinators.
Speaking of which, like everyone else said, you have been touring so much and all that travel by itself is such hardwork. So yes, You are not slacking at all.
either ways as much as i would love for you to blog alteast once a week, If you really feel like you are forcing yourself to blog, give yourself a break . You deserve it.You can always come back when you are refreshed. Yeah, please catch atleast 6hrs of sleep every 24hrs.
love and hugs

April 26, 2009 5:37 PM

3/

Le cinq blog said...

I feel ridiculous posting a third comment on this blog entry ,but then, after reading this blog , It kept replaying in my mind. Just had to come back and say some more.
First off ,see,this scene where your father is procrastinating at home and you skip school and roam around town and then both of you are pretending to each other that you were both doing what you both were supposed to be doing. Hmmmmm..That's tragic and well, procrastination can stem from mild to moderate depression.While it is foolish to blame your grampa and pa for passing on procrastination to you as if you mean procrastination is genetic, The blame still holds weight, since depression is genetic in some way, and procrastination can stem from depression.So there is a complex reason behind mass familial procrastination.Maybe your dad was depressed for not getting the opportunities in life he would have wanted.Maybe he was disappointed with himself which is why he was/is depressed and procrastinating thereof.Ya know. all hidden complex reasons.Maybe I am over analyzing your blog, but then even if this comment doesn't correctly apply to you I am sure someone of the comment readers might relate to it, which is why i take pains to post a looong comment.
The sweet side of your father though was that you took you to ever audition possible.Reminds me of my father. My father would never say no to anything related to my education.He would even to date buy any book i would like.He is sweet like that.
Anyways,
I just had to come back and babble about this coz, the lines in your blog kept repeating in my head like crazy.
No point blaming parents for anything , even if they were bad parents. But yes, having a great showdown and telling them all the things you didn't like about their parenting and getting it all out kinda relieves the soul.It gets all the animosity out there and clears the air.
It felt better when i sat both my parents down one day and screamed out things all emotionally charged at what all they could have done better with their parenting.Ofcourse, after that, couldn't sleep that whole night. The next thing in the morning,I kinda told sorry to both of them and all of us broke into tears. Hmmmmm.Then there was a group hug and some breakfast.
yeah, cannabis just creates more depression.It does.So,good to lay off of it.I say this as a well informed physician.Many of my patients who are hard drug addicts now say that they all started with soft drugs like alcohol or weed.It never stops at that.
Dealing with any kind of pain by actually analyzing it and coming to terms with it is better than blocking it out with weed or drugs.
Okay, I am done with my blabbing on this comments box.Geez, three comments. Sorry Ppl, just had to share.
I know jase reads all comments from top to bottom.So yes, hoping he will have patience with my over-commenting on this blog.
Gonna post this comment on my blog for my own records.
Also, YOUR MUSIC IS VERY VERY VIBRANT AND ORIGINAL AND THE MOST HAPPY MUSIC i have ever encountered.you have THE GIFT buddy, so let's rejoice at your talent.K?EAch time i listen to a song of yours, I will for sure pep up.
Your great creativity is your greatest gift to us and the world.Thank for the gift of your music.
I apologize to the other comment readers for posting such a long comment.
Group Hug everybody!
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Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.

Why do people hit kids ? My answer to Reader's Query

Well, Someone posted in a query asking 'WHY DO PEOPLE HIT KIDS?"
I am guessing they meant to ask why to people hit their own kids at home .
Well, for one People are a stressed out lot. They are stressed out about finances , about parenting responsibilities and about work problems , about their relationship or familial problems . People in general bottle up all stress and anger for days on end with no outlet anywhere. At this point of maximal frustration , a child seems to be the only point of least resistance. Children are small in size or dependant on your in many ways and are under your care.They look like an easy target and thus bear the brunt of frustrated parents who have no where else to vent their anger.
Child abuse is a punishable offence in the US and your children might get taken away if you try to use your children as a sounding board to vent out all your anger and frustration.

Other reasons why parents might hit their kids are
1/Physical violence is a way of silence the other person. By using physical violence when words are not able to control, the parents show their immense desire to control someone else no matter what it takes. Such parents might be control freaks trying to use the fact that they are physically bigger than the child as a tool to physically control someone else.

2/I previously wrote a blog entry called 'Hit the baby first and then pacify it' . Again, sometimes parents are so eager to brain washing the child to think that their parents are their only world that they sometimes first create trouble for the child first , just so that they can then be the pacifier. Such children end up developing a mental condition where they sympathize with their own abusers . Such parents first hit the child or scare the shit out of the child and then eventually come over at the end of it all and then pacify them like they are not at fault at all. After an episode of physical or mental creulty , any small good gesture from the abusers is viewed by the child as a reward and this gives rise to reoccurances of such vicious cycles of abuse followed by pacification.

3/ Munchusen's sydrome by proxy--This is a disorder where the parents inflict physical violence on the child and make it look like a disease just so that they can bring their child to the hospital .The main motive behind this is that the parents get a high from all the attention they get out of the doctors during this hospital visit.This is definitely child abuse and such parents need psychotherapy .

Having said all this, Physical violence is a definite NO NO , no matter who hurts whom. Physical violence is a sign of lack of anger control. It is a malicious attempt to silence another person or to show who is in control, when apparently any person who resorts to physical violence is infact out of control rather than being in control.

Everyone is born small and helpless , Children need to be fed and taken care of till they reach adulthood.This is nature and biology, Nothing can be done about it. As a parent it is your moral responsibility to take care of the human beings you brought into this world. You cannot expect fully grown human beings to be born from the womb. Using your bigger physical size against someone who cannot help being small (for a while till they grow up ) is a crime. Parents who hit their kids obviously have anger issues, psychological issues and stress issues. I hope this answers the reader's query. Feel free to send it more queries and i shall answer them as and when i get time.

Dogs are not children, Children are not dogs-Pets and selfishness

Well, This blog is about what makes me angry. This blog is also about psychology behind human behavior. This blog is also about tips to deal with anger.
Dogs and dogs, Children are children.
I get severely angry at people who have dogs because they want to be entertained or those that want to feel bigger and important and feel loved and in control and those that want someone begging them for food and someone that they can order around.
You know what, sometimes people have children for the above mentioned reasons. You know, sometimes people want to have children for the sole reason that they can have someone smaller than them that will need them for basic needs like food and clothing and thus they can go around ordering the kid to sit and stand and what not and sometimes people have kids so that they can feel like this bigger person in control and want to misle this constant need of their children as love .
In short, many immature people have either dogs or even kids for very selfish reasons, reason that satisfy them and them alone. Such parents are totally worthless .
In my opinion any animals doesn't deserve to be a pet. Every animal in the human kingdom that was naturally born will be able to fend for itself and even hunt for its own food. It is a natural instinct. No animal in this world is built in a way to be happy in an enclosure or to be chained or belted or to live in small spaces. Dogs run faster than a human, they are prefectly capable of going for your neck and killing you .So being a better hunter and a true carnivore they are perfectly above you in the food chain so to speak. I mean, You toilet train a dog or a cat coz you don't want your house dirty. But you know what, why must a dog in the wild, first go through the torture of living in stupidly small houses designed for humans and then on top of that need to get toilet trained at that? Why? They would not need toilet training if they were not forced to live in homes that are clearly designed for human purposes . Yeah, the horror of getting male dogs sterlized and female dogs splayed. What the hell is with that ? The horror of pet stores. seriously.
We try to have pets for our own selfish needs of loneliness where we want to feel not alone. The dogs don';t want it , the cats don't want , the fish don't want it..They are free human being. They run faster than we can. They can jump over walls in a jiffy. fish in the sea travel thousands of miles during breeding season. And yet the horror of first of all confining these animals in closed spaces and then teaching them tricks in exchange of food , VVery cruel. Look at it this way. You take a woman, put her in a room. feed her, then impregnate her against her will and then sell her female babies to someoneelse, who then again ties her up in a room and then feeds her regularly, and toilet trains her and such and then again, bargains tricks for food? how would that look? Huh?
Yeah, on the other hand, I have seen many a parent who force their kids to do this and this coz that is what they would like as a parent, Very cruel.They dress them a certain way . I have seen parent bring their 3 yr old girls to the swimming pool dressed in a two piece bikini, Seriously, This is a child. She is going to take another ten years before she gets boobs, so please stop dressing her in a bikini like that. Sometimes parents are so eager to show off their babies as eye candy to others. Ya know, teach them lil things to say or do which are suppossedly cute in the eyes of adults. No Madam, your child is not a dog.
Also, I mean, someone says, " I don't want children. I have my dogs." Gosh, to such people, first off, Children and dogs are not the same. Dogs belong in the wild. Children a symbol of love. Neither one of them is here to perform your tricks or act like trophies.
Thank you very much for reading this to the end. Most people don't like a mirror to their life.They like living in denial.

About PMS

Does PMS exist or is it a creation of the media?
brighteyes82 asked this question
Do you get PMS?

If so,
What are your ‘symptoms’? Tired? Bitchy? Depressed? Or just aches and pains?

If not, (guys, feel free to answer this one too)
Do you believe it exists?

I had a professor once tell us that PMS did not exist, that it was the product of the media. And that in ‘non-Western’ nations people didn’t experience it. I personally think that’s BS. Obviously there are hormornal changes and hormones affect us whether we like it or not. Every month I find myself wondering why the hell I’m so depressed and then the lightbulb turns on: “Oooh! It’s that time again!”
And in terms of people not experiencing it in ‘non-Western’ nations, I had a discussion with some Japanese women about this (actually it was menopause, the professor said the same thing about menopause – that women don’t get psychological symptoms outside of North America) and they said that their mothers or grandmothers experienced changes during menopause or pregnancy, but it wasn’t viewed as a problem back then. People didn’t complain about it because it was just a fact of life. I can see that, but if someone doesn’t complain it doesn’t mean they’re not uncomfortable!

My answer

PMS used to be called Premenstrual tension before , it became PMS.
Yes, there is a fair amount of tension involved right there..
Is it a media creation?
It is not a media creation as in, PMS is a fad that the media has magnified.
Does PMS exist? as in is it a real phenomenon or is it imaginary?
It is real..it is not imaginary.
What role has media played in it?
Media has overemphasized and kinda mocked PMS and has actually made a joke of it , to such an extent that as soon as a woman starts complain, everyone plainly just attributes it to PMS and then wash their hands off of actually addressing the woman’s complaints.
What are the causes of PMS?
The thing is, hormones do play a role..but what I assume is that, not jsut do hormones play a role., The occurance of PMS is directly related to the amount of stress the woman is facing in her life otherwise.
for eg.. A woman who has no stress otherwise, and her hormones are balanced too, wont really have any PMS.She may have cramping—cramping is part of PMS, but PMS is not just cramping.
on the other hand, A woman who has no stress but has her hormones imbalanced may have may uncomfortable symptoms during different phases of her mentrual cycle..but she really won’t have the typical PMS symptoms that the North American media constantly glorifies or rather, mocks at .as being PMS.
The general perception now, thanks to the ignorant media is that PMS is when women just go crazy and hysterical and psychotic for no reason.
This perception is totally false.
I am pretty sure women go crazy and hysterical and all that before their periods.. and i think it is not as much due to PMS as much it is probably due to the inconsiderate people around them that cause them a lot of distress.The distress that these women have managed to not express all through their menstrual cycle., but then their threshold comes down during this Premenstrual phase, and all the bitterness and resentment that they have been holding inside of them against inconsiderate husbands or partners or work place collegues comes pouring out during PMS.
So yes, PMS exists,, It is not solely a somatic hormonal disorder.I think , PMS has psychosocial causes too.. as in , you are more likely to suffer from sever and exaggerated symptoms of PMS if you live with partners that don’t understand you or partners that you don’t really connect to or work at places that cause you stress and such.
Why does PMS not occur outside of North America?
I think , that is not because PMS doesn’t exist outside of North America.It is because North American women are more assertive and independant enough to be able to express their discomfort and actually have a chance that they are heard.In many other countries, the problems of women are never heard or catered to or plain right ignored…Women have no voices in many countries..that is why.
I hope, my this serious elaborate effort to put in my two cents is adequate enough.

Jan 13, 03:20AM PST

See more progress on: I want to keep record of my own comments and responses to them , since I can't figure if there is a way to do so on 43T

Monster

Now , now, Charlize theron is one fine actress..She is very very pretty too. and to look at the physical transformation she went through.
The story is based on a true story too.You know , how I am a fan of movies based on true stories..So yes, this movie greatly appealed to me.Also so because it deals with real life issues of women.
Charlize did so much of justice to the role..You almost forget that it is some actor playing the role..
Pain filled but truly this movie had to be made.

See more progress on: Share 100 favourite movies

Boy's dont cry

This movie is painful as in full of pain.. deep and disturbing in some seriously soul prodding way..
About this girl who wants to be a boy. she is troubled due to this identity crisis, faces a lot of abuse and the story very sincerely tells the story without attempting to soften the blow of naked truths of this world.
good movies.. opens up issues that better be discussed by everyone.

See more progress on: Share 100 favourite movies

Schindler's list

I still wonder , why Shindler did what he did..
This movie is a true story based one and well,, very moving, makes you cry too..kinda inspirational too.
About the holocaust. so have to watch.
Speaking of the Holocaust, ,i have visited quite a few holocaust memorials , but the one in boston.. that i visited one september just made me pause and stand there and think..hmmmm.

See more progress on: Share 100 favourite movies

Who is a creepy person?

I shall explain a case here.
A guy who lies about his age and then finally after you invest time interacting , finally tells you that he is a good five years older than what he initially told you he was..
Now , that essentially qualifies as a creep.
Creeps are people who do unethical things and actually don’t think there is anything wrong there.
The funny part is,
When does a creep get a lot creepier?
When you say that you cant interact anymore coz he lied about his age.See, the point is , not that he is five years older than he said he is..The point is, he lied about that.. His age is not the issue.What the issue here is that he lied about it..
That is called malice.
the creep gets creepier when he comes back with a retort like, ” i mean, you would never have known had i not told you.So you must thank me for being honest”
Gosh.. Does he take me for some idiot or what? I mean.. don’t i know how to reach a birth certificate or a driver’s license or passport ? I mean, was he planning to hide his driver’s license from me for a lifetime, to anticipate that i will never get to know his real age, had he not volunteered that info?
so, this is the deal..that is the creep’s mindset..They have their own version of what is ethical and unethical.
So yeah.. that is the example of one of the very many varieities of creeps—men and women that i come across each day of my life.

See more progress on: be able to discourage all the creepy creeps from even approaching me