Procrastination and Family drama,genetics and the blame game

Jason writes a blog and each blog entry always evokes spontaneous comments from me.In fact, I mull over the blog content in my head for days and then go back and post further comments.
We have a beautiful commenters community there on his blog who all write in with their own personal views on the topic of the blog and reading the other comments also is such a fulfilling experience.
So yeah, this time jason wrote about procrastination and was taking about his grampa and pa and about how procrastination runs in the family and about soybean fields in the backyard and about the blame game we all play to get away with procrastination and such.
I left three comments for him there and I felt that these comments of mine qualify of blog entries.Here they are :
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My comments
1/

Le cinq blog said...

Okay, You gotta lay off the Pot. Seriously, You gotta do it.Cannabis is a mind altering drug. Please,stop using weed or pot!

Secondly,you look super sexy in that picture.

Thirdly,I got so tired of constantly coming over and checking if you wrote a new blog that I started procrastinating on my own blogging as well.

Hmmmmm.wow, You had soybean fields in your backyard? How do soybean fields look though.Any pics you can share? Being vegan now, soy gives me my iron and protein and what not.Would love to see pics of soybean fields.

Yeah, no use blaming planets or stars. Blaming anyone or anything is a sign of a loser. I blame a lot too when i lose out or don't fulfill my goals and i have learned that blame goes nowhere.

Wow, this blog was just plainly profound and scratched the surface of untouchable topics in my deeply buried psyche.

I think I am gonna repost this comment on my blog just to get me going and update all of my blogs which btw I haven't updated in the past 2 weeks.sheesh

In my opinion we all procrastinate as an escape from a painful place in our minds. As an escape from a lack of motivation. Ya know. or prolly lack of confidence.
Someone once sent me a note about how procrastination is all about perfectionism. Ya know, you keep postponing it coz you want to do a perfect job of it but then the pity part of it all is this perfect time never comes sometimes.
Anyways, jase, hugs to you ,blog more often will ya.Keeps me going.Even if it just airport pictures or silly touristy stories and such.
hmmmm...

April 26, 2009 5:05 PM

Le cinq blog said...

I just read the 80 comments above mine and atleast three kids are procrastinating on their exam preparation while reading this blog.LOL
But yeah, hundred percent of us commenters have also admitted that we are procrastinators as well. I think all humans are procrastinators.
Speaking of which, like everyone else said, you have been touring so much and all that travel by itself is such hardwork. So yes, You are not slacking at all.
either ways as much as i would love for you to blog alteast once a week, If you really feel like you are forcing yourself to blog, give yourself a break . You deserve it.You can always come back when you are refreshed. Yeah, please catch atleast 6hrs of sleep every 24hrs.
love and hugs

April 26, 2009 5:37 PM

3/

Le cinq blog said...

I feel ridiculous posting a third comment on this blog entry ,but then, after reading this blog , It kept replaying in my mind. Just had to come back and say some more.
First off ,see,this scene where your father is procrastinating at home and you skip school and roam around town and then both of you are pretending to each other that you were both doing what you both were supposed to be doing. Hmmmmm..That's tragic and well, procrastination can stem from mild to moderate depression.While it is foolish to blame your grampa and pa for passing on procrastination to you as if you mean procrastination is genetic, The blame still holds weight, since depression is genetic in some way, and procrastination can stem from depression.So there is a complex reason behind mass familial procrastination.Maybe your dad was depressed for not getting the opportunities in life he would have wanted.Maybe he was disappointed with himself which is why he was/is depressed and procrastinating thereof.Ya know. all hidden complex reasons.Maybe I am over analyzing your blog, but then even if this comment doesn't correctly apply to you I am sure someone of the comment readers might relate to it, which is why i take pains to post a looong comment.
The sweet side of your father though was that you took you to ever audition possible.Reminds me of my father. My father would never say no to anything related to my education.He would even to date buy any book i would like.He is sweet like that.
Anyways,
I just had to come back and babble about this coz, the lines in your blog kept repeating in my head like crazy.
No point blaming parents for anything , even if they were bad parents. But yes, having a great showdown and telling them all the things you didn't like about their parenting and getting it all out kinda relieves the soul.It gets all the animosity out there and clears the air.
It felt better when i sat both my parents down one day and screamed out things all emotionally charged at what all they could have done better with their parenting.Ofcourse, after that, couldn't sleep that whole night. The next thing in the morning,I kinda told sorry to both of them and all of us broke into tears. Hmmmmm.Then there was a group hug and some breakfast.
yeah, cannabis just creates more depression.It does.So,good to lay off of it.I say this as a well informed physician.Many of my patients who are hard drug addicts now say that they all started with soft drugs like alcohol or weed.It never stops at that.
Dealing with any kind of pain by actually analyzing it and coming to terms with it is better than blocking it out with weed or drugs.
Okay, I am done with my blabbing on this comments box.Geez, three comments. Sorry Ppl, just had to share.
I know jase reads all comments from top to bottom.So yes, hoping he will have patience with my over-commenting on this blog.
Gonna post this comment on my blog for my own records.
Also, YOUR MUSIC IS VERY VERY VIBRANT AND ORIGINAL AND THE MOST HAPPY MUSIC i have ever encountered.you have THE GIFT buddy, so let's rejoice at your talent.K?EAch time i listen to a song of yours, I will for sure pep up.
Your great creativity is your greatest gift to us and the world.Thank for the gift of your music.
I apologize to the other comment readers for posting such a long comment.
Group Hug everybody!
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Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.

Why do people hit kids ? My answer to Reader's Query

Well, Someone posted in a query asking 'WHY DO PEOPLE HIT KIDS?"
I am guessing they meant to ask why to people hit their own kids at home .
Well, for one People are a stressed out lot. They are stressed out about finances , about parenting responsibilities and about work problems , about their relationship or familial problems . People in general bottle up all stress and anger for days on end with no outlet anywhere. At this point of maximal frustration , a child seems to be the only point of least resistance. Children are small in size or dependant on your in many ways and are under your care.They look like an easy target and thus bear the brunt of frustrated parents who have no where else to vent their anger.
Child abuse is a punishable offence in the US and your children might get taken away if you try to use your children as a sounding board to vent out all your anger and frustration.

Other reasons why parents might hit their kids are
1/Physical violence is a way of silence the other person. By using physical violence when words are not able to control, the parents show their immense desire to control someone else no matter what it takes. Such parents might be control freaks trying to use the fact that they are physically bigger than the child as a tool to physically control someone else.

2/I previously wrote a blog entry called 'Hit the baby first and then pacify it' . Again, sometimes parents are so eager to brain washing the child to think that their parents are their only world that they sometimes first create trouble for the child first , just so that they can then be the pacifier. Such children end up developing a mental condition where they sympathize with their own abusers . Such parents first hit the child or scare the shit out of the child and then eventually come over at the end of it all and then pacify them like they are not at fault at all. After an episode of physical or mental creulty , any small good gesture from the abusers is viewed by the child as a reward and this gives rise to reoccurances of such vicious cycles of abuse followed by pacification.

3/ Munchusen's sydrome by proxy--This is a disorder where the parents inflict physical violence on the child and make it look like a disease just so that they can bring their child to the hospital .The main motive behind this is that the parents get a high from all the attention they get out of the doctors during this hospital visit.This is definitely child abuse and such parents need psychotherapy .

Having said all this, Physical violence is a definite NO NO , no matter who hurts whom. Physical violence is a sign of lack of anger control. It is a malicious attempt to silence another person or to show who is in control, when apparently any person who resorts to physical violence is infact out of control rather than being in control.

Everyone is born small and helpless , Children need to be fed and taken care of till they reach adulthood.This is nature and biology, Nothing can be done about it. As a parent it is your moral responsibility to take care of the human beings you brought into this world. You cannot expect fully grown human beings to be born from the womb. Using your bigger physical size against someone who cannot help being small (for a while till they grow up ) is a crime. Parents who hit their kids obviously have anger issues, psychological issues and stress issues. I hope this answers the reader's query. Feel free to send it more queries and i shall answer them as and when i get time.

Dogs are not children, Children are not dogs-Pets and selfishness

Well, This blog is about what makes me angry. This blog is also about psychology behind human behavior. This blog is also about tips to deal with anger.
Dogs and dogs, Children are children.
I get severely angry at people who have dogs because they want to be entertained or those that want to feel bigger and important and feel loved and in control and those that want someone begging them for food and someone that they can order around.
You know what, sometimes people have children for the above mentioned reasons. You know, sometimes people want to have children for the sole reason that they can have someone smaller than them that will need them for basic needs like food and clothing and thus they can go around ordering the kid to sit and stand and what not and sometimes people have kids so that they can feel like this bigger person in control and want to misle this constant need of their children as love .
In short, many immature people have either dogs or even kids for very selfish reasons, reason that satisfy them and them alone. Such parents are totally worthless .
In my opinion any animals doesn't deserve to be a pet. Every animal in the human kingdom that was naturally born will be able to fend for itself and even hunt for its own food. It is a natural instinct. No animal in this world is built in a way to be happy in an enclosure or to be chained or belted or to live in small spaces. Dogs run faster than a human, they are prefectly capable of going for your neck and killing you .So being a better hunter and a true carnivore they are perfectly above you in the food chain so to speak. I mean, You toilet train a dog or a cat coz you don't want your house dirty. But you know what, why must a dog in the wild, first go through the torture of living in stupidly small houses designed for humans and then on top of that need to get toilet trained at that? Why? They would not need toilet training if they were not forced to live in homes that are clearly designed for human purposes . Yeah, the horror of getting male dogs sterlized and female dogs splayed. What the hell is with that ? The horror of pet stores. seriously.
We try to have pets for our own selfish needs of loneliness where we want to feel not alone. The dogs don';t want it , the cats don't want , the fish don't want it..They are free human being. They run faster than we can. They can jump over walls in a jiffy. fish in the sea travel thousands of miles during breeding season. And yet the horror of first of all confining these animals in closed spaces and then teaching them tricks in exchange of food , VVery cruel. Look at it this way. You take a woman, put her in a room. feed her, then impregnate her against her will and then sell her female babies to someoneelse, who then again ties her up in a room and then feeds her regularly, and toilet trains her and such and then again, bargains tricks for food? how would that look? Huh?
Yeah, on the other hand, I have seen many a parent who force their kids to do this and this coz that is what they would like as a parent, Very cruel.They dress them a certain way . I have seen parent bring their 3 yr old girls to the swimming pool dressed in a two piece bikini, Seriously, This is a child. She is going to take another ten years before she gets boobs, so please stop dressing her in a bikini like that. Sometimes parents are so eager to show off their babies as eye candy to others. Ya know, teach them lil things to say or do which are suppossedly cute in the eyes of adults. No Madam, your child is not a dog.
Also, I mean, someone says, " I don't want children. I have my dogs." Gosh, to such people, first off, Children and dogs are not the same. Dogs belong in the wild. Children a symbol of love. Neither one of them is here to perform your tricks or act like trophies.
Thank you very much for reading this to the end. Most people don't like a mirror to their life.They like living in denial.

some women just encourage their family members to victimize them

well, the thing is, sometimes some women gently encourage their family members to act selfish, just so that they can pass off as a martyr..I think this tendency to slowly and slyly encourage them to behave like monsters so that they can then go ahead and pose as this hapless victim that does things for everyone at home, stems from a deep sense of insecurity and malicious thought process there of, where they see themselves completely incapable of winning love unless they play these games.It also stems from lack of self confidence where they think that they really are not capable of doing anything on their own and yet and therefore have to decided to devise methods where they can 'fool' other people to think they are useful in some way.I use the world fool here not because i think they are fooling people..i use the word fool coz they think they are fooling other people into believing they are useful in someway coz they themselves have started viewing themselves are useless .
A good sign of self loathing where in their heart of hearts they feel that unless they victimize themselves or play the victim, there just is going to be no possibility that anyone will value them ever.They dread a scenario where no one is the victim and yet they are indispensible.they view themselves as dispensible which is exactly why they try to create a situation where they want to pose as someone who is giving up a lot of self dignity to make the relationship to survive.
this is a pathetic plan.they need to respect themselves enough and make themselves worthy enough to still be needed even if there is no victimization involved at all.
I mean after all, people can just like another person just because of the way they are not and not because of the things this person does for them..Ya know...To actually imagine that unless you create sceanarios where you prove that you are abused and yet decide to be the jesus christ of the relationship where you let yourself get abused and such, only indicates a lot of self loathing that you have for yourself where you think that unless you are the jesus christ of the relationship no one will want to be around you.
Come on,have a life, do things you want to do..don't depend on other people .You life should not depend on someone else going on a guilt trip.
Do things that make you feel independent and self worthy.You should have choices and be proud of things that you do on your own .That way you don't need to depend on someone else's good books.That paves the way for non guilt trip dependant relationships where mutual respect and real camaraderie is what survives the relationship.

Passing the ball in the child rearing dept.

yet again, i was reading this blog entry on Peggy's blog about How ultra orthodox israeli women received their biotechnology degrees after recieving training in the field in segregrated classes with intructors trying to teach while still following strict religious stipulations and there was one sentence on there at how, child maitenence was provided to them during the course of the training and also how the cribs were lined at the aisle while they lined up at the graduation ceremony at aisles...hmmmm
here is a copy of the comment i left on there
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btw.i also felt when i read the sentence ,"Baby carriages lined the aisles", that they were trying to somehow put the whole responsibility of child rearing on the women.It was almost like they were sending a subliminal message to the women in general that no matter what they do , they better be equipped to take the whole responsibility of child rearing all on their own.I have seen that in many societies, this kind of indirect discouragement by still making them take full responsibility of the children even if they work oustide , eventually makes the women chose to stay home out of sheer resentment that they have to do double the work even if they work outside and make money anyways, so why not sit home and make the men make money since the men wont help them raise the children.ya know.reverse psychology is some way.family feuds in another way.hmmmmm.
1:22 PM

What causes anger?

I think anger mostly stems from this inability to do anything to correct a situation which causes distress and this may be anything from oppressive parents or an oppressive spouse on whom you are financially dependant .It Could be anything or anyone from whom you feel you have no choice to get away from...That helplessness when compounded from repeat occurance of the same distress gets bottled up in anger and if this anger is not unbottled in a conscious manner by assessing and acknowledging the actual cause of distress, it might end up causing a change in personality pattern.
I have seen quite a few people who are abused by their parents who end being the same worthless parent that caused them such distress.I have see this relative of mine..All her life , she was treated like dirt at her home by her mother and now she is a parent and she herself ends up behaving the same nasty way with her own daughter.Hmmmm.I would think she would actually make an effort to be different..but i think sometimes people are like that...Prolly this is the only chance in life she is getting to talk down to someone or to control someone else's life...and she is knocking herself out...the hapless child..hmmm

Why don't stupid people stop having kids? what kind of question is that

"Why don't stupid people stop having kids?"
well !
First off, I came across this goal on 43things, where quite a few people had this goal to
STOP STUPID PEOPLE FROM HAVING KIDS
Needless to say, i went around reading the comments and such.
Finally ofcourse, I put in my two cents on here for everyone to read about this issue.
Now that i did this, I thought, i might as well come here and share my two cents with the blogger readers here
Here goes :
You know what, the lesser the person is capable of achieving anything in life, the more they are depressed and unsure of themselves.The more unsure they are of themselves, the more insecure they are.The more insecure they are , the more they will try to have people in their life who have no choice(with respect to being with them or leaving them ) and those who cannot abandon them.This is where kids figure.YOu see, kids cannot run away till they are 18.So, these stupid people are ensured validation each and every day for a period of 16 yrs or 18 yrs where other human constantly has to ask their permission to do things which kinda makes them feel important.That kinda makes them feel more worthy.This is exactly why , stupid people deliberately have more kids when infact they could do some service to the world and not have any.Having said that, sometimes, children that are born to such worthless people have undergone trauma due to stupid parenting for 16yrs , they tend to develop a completely opposite personality and might actually end up overachievers.You see, they know on a first hand basis how stupidity sucks.So, they try to go ahead try not to be stupid.

Hey.I am not angry today

7/5/08 5:19 AM
I am not angry today.
Why you ask?
I had an opportunity two days ago to either just walk away and brood in anger or just stand there and take the time to give a piece of mind to the offender.
The offender in this case was a very ignorant and disprespectful grocery shop employee.
Usually, I do not indulge in loud arguments with people who i think don't possess the mental capacity to understand a reprimand.
Such people are beyond repair and wriggling in squalours of a messed up life to such an extent that i think that no amount of reprimand is going to awaken them to loose that disconnect and develop a soul.
For , after long of doing this letting bad people get away with bad behaviour, i realized that this type of forgiveness did no good to anyone, me included.
IF at all it did anything, it allowed the unvented anger to simmer in me and sear my soul.
So, finally, i decided that i am going to give it back in good measure to the next jackass that comes my way.
And though i wasted a good 40 min of my time in the process and though other shoppers at the grocery store were staring at me , You know what, at the end of it, I came back home and felt proud that i made the no gooders know that i know that they are no gooders.
I am pretty sure that they will continue to be jackasses, and well, atleast i didnt let them get away with being a jackass with me.
you see, that is why i am not angry today.
I am happy