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This blog entry is part of the "ALL ABOUT MR.GREEN" SERIES.All names have been concealed in an effort to protect my own privacy and and also protect the identity of all other parties that are described in these blog articles.
None of these articles are meant as an effort to win back anyone or reconnect with anyone.None of these articles are meant to invade anyone else's privacy or meddle with their current lifestyle either.
These articles are just my effort to purge out all my bad,sad feelings about this person that still are deep rooted in my soul.These blog articles are just so that i can DETOX myself of so much heartache,feelings of second guessing myself and my judgement,the sadness,hurt,yearning and missing someone -that came with my having interacted with this person.I highly regret that I ever made his acquaintance, coz now I am left with a deep dent in my heart and soul and I feel DAMAGED .
Damage that he can never UN-DO !
DOESN'T A FIANCE' count as "family"? deliberate lies by way of witholding the truth-a case in example-ALL ABOUT MR.GREEN SERIES
When you look at the images attached to this blog,you will see that these tweets are from 2009.
yeah,way back from 2009 and the fact that I AM MULLING over this issue to a point where I am needing to write a whole blog entry about this issue obviously exposes the deep impact this incident has left on my brain.
This blog entry is not just about mr green or my interactions with him on the internet or his personality,but ALSO about how people perceive the internet as not being real and how people assume that NOT TELLING THE TRUTH doesn't count as a lie,on and off the internet.
Does withholding vital information and truth, count as a lie?
simple answer is, YES!
Not LETTING out a VITAL PIECE OF INFORMATION is LYING,especially when you are being specificially being questioned about it.
LET US START THE STORY ,with how it all started.
you might read this same story on so many of my other blog entries under different contexts but ,AGAIN,must tell this story again.
Way back in july of 2009,mr u was in japan and i kinda tweeted some Japan tweets while he was there.
Apparently,mr green's muse and emotional soulmate,let us call him mr.baldy,who btw happens to be a MAN,was living in japan back then.
mr.green was living in japan too.
on retrospect,i gather that mr.baldy possibly HAD set up an AUTOMATED ADDER,which would add anyone that mentioned japan in their tweet .(i wasn't aware of this automated set up at all back then)
For me,no matter which website or social media site I am on,on the internet,I interact with people,LIKE THEY ARE REAL,(coz they are real) and I also am VERY SELECTIVE ABOUT WHOM I ADD or interact with on the net,just like I am selective as to whom i talk to in non-internet life!
So,when someone adds me,I often assume that they are just as earnest like I am,in WANTING TO MAKE FRIENDS OR ADD FRIENDS or talk to me.
So,I assumed that this mr green's muse, mr.baldy, BY LIEU of having added me to his twitter friends list obvioiusly really wanted to talk to me or be friends with me.
So I proceeded to start talking and interacting with mr.baldy on twitter.
Within a day of mr baldy adding me,some other guy from japan also added me..
that seemed weird and CLEARLY AUTOMATED...so,I was like,"what is with all these aussie men living in japan adding me !"
I went and looked this new guy up...and soon figured out that he was mr.baldy's "friend".
I was like,"hey,no problem! let me add this guy as well,friends of friends are friends too ,right?"
so yeah,this second guy , was mr.green.
I never initially saw mr.green as a PRIMARY FRIEND..I just saw him as this friend of friend..
But soon, in every conversation between mr.baldy and me,HE WOULD BUTT IN TOO...
for the longest time, I was amused and flattered...I was like,"wait a minute,why is mr.green so eager to start a convo with me?"
for the longest time,I was under the impression that mr.green was trying to COMPETE with mr.baldy for MY attention ...
little did i know.blah!
What mr.green was actually doing was GUARDING HIS TREASURE BF...and making sure to dissaude or keep an eye on any new female that might interact with mr.baldy.He wanted to be mr.baldy's only close friend!aaah the ways of CLOSET GAY MEN!little did i know back then!
This behavior was much like what so many insecure girlfriends do on the net or at parties..they constantly keep an eye on what their boyfriend or husband is doing and the moment they sense a threat,they come running,butting into conversations and discouraging folks by making their presence known and such!
mr.green was doing exactly that!
but anyways..back then ,i TOOK this mr.green's behavior as some kinda male heterosexual COMPETITIVE SPIRIT..to try to steal me away from mr.baldy by preventing anything developing between baldy and me..
This MISREADING of mr.green's behavior is what GOT ME INTO A LOT OF EMOTIONAL PAIN,which lasted for years ...
Anyways,that is how i got talking to mr.green..in the start.
So,as is customary for all internet interactions,we all usually start our initial introductions by mentioning our age,location and sex and relationship status..
ATLEAST, THAT IS WHAT AMERICANS DO.
And from my decade of internet social media experience,starting 1997 to 2007,I have never met a guy,who actually WAS INVOLVED and yet LIED TO ME that he was single.
yes,I have had people TRY to get all sexual,after telling me they were engaged or married and ofcourse,ONCE I KNOW they are already involved,I DON'T TOUCH THAT WITH A TEN FOOT POLE..
So,when you first meet people,ON THE NET,or outside of the net for that matter,most men i have met,that were involved,would CASUALLY insert anecdotes or mentions of their gf/wife in our initial conversations ..JUST SO THAT I KNOW THEY ALREADY HAVE ONE..
atleast,that is what is customary with americans..WE ALL volunteer information..on our own..THAT IS CALLED SELF-REGULATION .
Atleast,all the men I HAD MET SO FAR..did that..
and even if they didn't do that,a casual question about their relationship status or family was a cue FOR THEM TO REVEAL THEIR STATUS.
yes,there have been occasions where men wouldn't tell me if they were single or not AND SUCH PEOPLE would immediately be relegated to my "avoid this suspicious fella" bin..(LOL).
inability to clearly reveal your relationship status is a clear NO-NO for me when it comes to internet interaction.
So,therefore,,ALL ALONG,i was used to a STRAIGHTFORWARD APPROACH.I ask and they tell or they tell on their own right at the beginning!
Anyways,so yeah,coming back to mr.green.
I really had no interest talking to him...in the beginning
but he kept butting into conversations and such, that finally i had to pay attention.
once i decide that i am gonnna start talking with a particular person, i look them up and their profile and if no mention of relationship or wife or gf exists,then i automatically assume they don't have one...and if in doubt,I CASUALLY ASK THEM about it.
so,i sent him a casual tweet,just to confirm he was single!
So,well, if you look up at that tweet, i sent him,asking about australia and family,I REALLY wanted to know if he was single or married or involved.
had he NOT answered the question altogether,I WOULD HAVE avoided him given his inability to answer such a simple question.
but ANSWER,he did.
and look at his answer,SO CLEVERLY EVASIVE.
he says something like,"there is no whole family here"
and so with that reply,I ASSUME HE IS SINGLE...
I think, i felt safe talking on DMs or email or chat,ONLY AFTER confirming he has NO FAMILY in japan.
and then amidst conversations and emails that spanned for a couple of MONTHS,he THEN sends me a picture of himself,so that i can rate his attractiveness.
and this picture is such a high resolution picture that i can zoom all the way to his left hand to what seemed like some kind of a ring.
BOOM, it is a wedding band??
WHAT THE FUCK.
so ,yeah, anyways.
when he sent me that tweet, in august 2009,saying he has NO FAMILY in japan,HE WAS SITTING IN JAPAN,TYPING ON A KEYBOARD with a RING ON HIS FINGER..
so he was wearing essentially either a engagement ring or wedding ring in the picture that he sent me in nov 2009.
and yet,HE CHOSE TO WITHOLD THAT INFORMATION from me.
why did he do that?
there are two possibilities
1/well, for one,MAYBE HE DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE PERSONAL INFORMATION...HE DIDN'T WANT TO REVEAL ANYTHING ABOUT HIMSELF to some woman asking him questions on twitter.hence the evasive answer
2/he was deliberately NOT WANTING TO TELL ME that he was engaged.
THAT MY DEAR FRIENDS IS CALLED LYING BY WAY OF WITHHOLDING THE TRUTH!
Well, again,he probably didn't want to reveal personal information to some stranger on the net that he was engaged or married..WHICH IS FINE..but then,if that is the case,why the fuck was he constantly trying to initiate conversations with me or butt into my conversations with mr baldy or try to talk to me on dm or talk to me on dm then chat then email finally leading up to a situation wherein he wanted me to rate him on his attractiveness.
if you already have a fiance' or wife,why are you MOUTHING AROUND ON THE INTERNET.
if you already have a fiance,why the reluctance to volunteer that information to me?if you have a fiance,and if you are wearing her ring.YOU SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM saying that too!
All those conversations with me starting from twitter, all the way up to that email where he sent me that picture ,where i CAUGHT him with his ring...not once, was there a mention of a gf or wife or any such..it almost looked like a single man or divorced single man showing some kind of interest in me.
so,yeah,coming back to why I am writing this blog entry.
I AM TAKING PAINS TO WRITE THIS BLOG ENTRY, to showcase how men and women behave on the internet..either because they think it is not real or because they see it as an escape from dysfunctional relationships in "real" life! and also how so many people think that withholding information IS NOT LYING..
well, it is lying.
again,there is one other possibility that in august,when that initial conversation happened,he didn't want to reveal personal info to a stranger and thus he thought that the best way to politely dodge a PERSONAL question was to give a safe answer...i can understand that..and somehow THINGS PROGRESSED with e...
but,why exactly are you the man with a ring on his finger,PROGRESSING things with other women on the net..
I didn't know you were engaged,but YOU,MR.GREEN, KNEW ,RIGHT?
even more than anything,a simpler question is.,
but see,DOESN'T A FIANCE COUNT AS "FAMILY"?
This is the woman whom he had been fucking for the past four years and whose ring he was wearing...a COMMISIONED ring at that...
so it was all official, decided and done for...
so ,in such a case,,doesn't such a woman already COUNT A FAMILY?
i DON'T KNOW..(nauseating)
is it only when she GETS STUCK with you under LEGALITIES OF MARRIAGE,wherein,if you die, she gets all your money,DOES SHE TRULY BECOME FAMILY?
WHAT IS MARRIAGE ANYWAYS?
a legal business aggreement,where you ensure that the person you are fucking gets all your wealth and property if at all something happens to you or vice-versa?
MARRIAGE IS A BUSINESS LEGAL AGGREEMENT,an legal obligation?
and in my opinion,people become your wife or husband,WITHOUT MARRIAGE,once you start fucking them exclusively on a regular basis..
so,in my view,she was already your wife..
I AM ALL ABOUT SELF-REGULATION..
I may not need marriage papers and property rights...but i value the SANCTITY OF EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS..and trust and dignity in relationships.
If i am fucking some guy and he is wearing my ring.and he goes on the internet and DOESN'T INCLUDE ME AS FAMILY, i would be very upset..is all I am saying!