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Sunday, September 21, 2014

MR.c'S stories about his dad-when ex boyfriends make you proud for having desired them once

You know how,when you look up old boyfriends or old crushes and then,
you are relieved that you never ended up with them coz they turn out
to be such damaged goods later in life?

and sometimes, YOU GET ASHAMED when you look up old boyfriends coz you
start wondering, "what was i thinking!!>why did i like this fucktard
so so much back then?? he is a jackass, what was i thinking!!how did i
ever like this guy back then?"

and sometimes, you look up old crushes and look at how fantastic they
are and FEEL PROUD that you had it in you to know how to choose a
good man...

and surely, MR.C is one of these type of men.


I ALWAYS LIKE IT when one of my old crushes time and again proves to
me WHAT IT WAS IN THEM that made me like them so much..
HELPS ME VALIDATE MY OWN EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE WHEN IT COMES TO
SEXUAL CHOICES I MAKE.

I remember writing a blog entry way back in 2006 about mr.c, ABOUT how
attracted i was to his personality, his face, his body, everything.
I FOUND HIM A TOTAL PACKAGE.AND everytime i feel a lot something or
someone, I BLOG IT OUT.

BACK THEN, my blog readers found it amusing that i took the time to
WRITE SUCH AN ELABORATE BLOG ENTRY SAYING HOW MUCH I LIKED MR.C.

years later, i stopped keeping track of him and then in 2012, i
looked him up again and was kinda disappointed to know that he has
finally settled down with this woman.

what disappointed me? his choice of woman
-I felt he deserved better, i felt he settled for less.surely, he
could have done better.

sadly, i see so many intelligent men SETTLE for less when it comes to
chosing a wife/gf.

Maybe men are conditioned to think that all women are going to be the
same old stupid and the best bet they have at making a better choice
is by finding a PRETTY WOMAN.

i don't know,
beats me as to why so many intelligent men end up with stupid wives!

yet another "feminine" woman, the kind of "fake femininity" that is
DRILLED INTO THE MINDS OF WOMEN, to conform to , to PROVE THEIR
FEMININITY..

he got engaged to her coz he got her pregnant?? i don't know, THAT
WHOLE STORY DISAPPOINTED ME and i was like, "another one bites the
dust"

and

I WROTE YET ANOTHER BLOG ENTRY IN 2012, ABOUT MR.C,about how
disappointed i was in how and whom he finally ended up with..

I wrote that blog just to get it out of my system.

and then,I automatically kinda erased him out of my head with that blog entry.


Very recently however, i happened to listen to mr.c talk about his
childhood and ofcourse, he is now MARRIED to his baby momma and
settling down and all..

I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE AND JUDGE HIM ON HIS MARRIAGE AND SUCH.

but, this story from his childhood that he shared atleast MADE ME FEEL
LESS ASHAMED ABOUT MYSELF FOR HAVING BEEN SO ATTRACTED TO HIM AT ONE
POINT..

A MOMENT where one of my exboyfriends makes me feel proud THAT I DO
LIKE QUALITY MEN..

so, mr.c, told this story about how his major influences were his
grandmother and mother..males with female mentors and female role
models always end up QUITE BALANCED.

men who are believers of the feminine power or have witnessed it first
hand during their childhoods tend to be actually inspired by them as
role models and that TOTALLY APPEAL TO ME...as a powerful smart young
woman looking for young men WHO INFACT REALLY KNOW WHAT A STRONG SMART
WOMAN IS ALL ABOUT , AND KNOW FIRST HAND HOW TO INTERACT WITH
THEM...without giving them a headache each day..

ONE MAJOR REASON BACK THEN WHY I FOUND MR.C very attractive was coz HE
WAS SO BALANCED...the right balance in everything
THE RIGHT BALANCE of confidence and yet the humble attitude to have an
open mind to keep learning forever.
THE RIGHT BALANCE to know that he looked good and yet to know that
good looks are not everything
the right balance between having the smartness to finish top honors in
college and yet knowing when to listen to his heart and take an about
turn to embark in a completely different field of work..
MR.C IS ALL ABOUT BALANCE.very balanced dude..such men calm me down
and allow me to relax..coz, i can trust them with things that i
usually burden myself to complete ..

so yeah, coming back to the childhood story mr.c told

he proceeded to tell this story about a conversation his father had
with him when he was a teenager,
father" " boy do you like beautiful women?"
and he recalls being half baffled by that question
and then proceeding to answer, "yes"
and his dad apparently told him, "if you want to GET a pretty wife,
you must become rich" and

i can clearly see the SHOCK and disdain on mr.c's face while he is
recalling that moment, where he realizes that not only is his dad
COMMODIFYING WOMEN as SOME SHINY trophy OBJECT THAT CAN BE PURCHASABLE
WITH MONEY


but i can see how INNATELY, mr.c, disagrees with this chauvinistic
mindset where a woman is just a mere commodity and trophy
and what all men can expect in a wife is a shiny object to fuck
and where relationships are nothing but a nightly fuck with a shiny
trophy object
and due to the limited expectation from such marriages,
men often SEE NO EMOTIONAL REWARD from marriage and seek it elsewhere
in their wingman company
and just have the wife for mindless fucks
and because marriage is just is only a mindless fuck and a safety net,
NO EMOTIONAL AND INTELLECTUAL COMPATIBILITY IS REQUIRED BETWEEN MAN
AND WIFE ANYMORE
AND once that need is removed, women often end up being picked solely
on their appearance.
and once women start getting picked that way based solely on how
pretty they look
WOMEN LEARN TO TURN OFF THEIR EMOTIONAL AND INTELLECTUAL DESIRES TOO
AND START PICKING MEN WHO CAN THEN create a COMFORTABLE LIFE FOR THEM
AND THAT MEANs, "rich men" with whom they have nothing in common and
sometimes not even sexual attraction...


and so, NOT ONLY WAS MR.C's dad a chauvinistic emotionally dead man
with no REAL UNDERSTANDING OF A FULFILLING FUNCTIONAL MARITAL OR
ROMANTIC RELATIONSIP, he was also teaching the next generation of
boys, HIS OWN SON, how to commodify and objectify women..

AND FUNNILY, from the very tone in which mr.C described this story, I
CAN RECOGNIZE, how much he disagreed to that whole concept of seeking
INCOMPLETE EMOTIONALLY DYSFUCTIONAL SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN MAN
AND WOMAN
AND

at that moment, his own current marriage, withstanding,
I FEEL A MOMENT OF PRIDE in him,THAT AT ONE POINT, I WANTED TO DATE
MR.C.with my whole heart...

he made me proud for the fact that i once desired this man.
this man, WHO IS EMOTIONALLY IN TOUCH WITH HIMSELF..
hugs!

TO THIS DAY, OUT OF ALL THE MEN I HAVE DESIRED ...mr.c IS ON THE TOP
TWO LIST of BALANCED MEN...who calm me down and make me trust
them..HUGS..

Tags: #emotional_intelligence, #mr_C,
#chauvinsitic_expectations_from_a_marriage, #Trophy_wife,
#commodification_of_women,#pride, #ex_boyfriends,#sex,#sexuality

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