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Wednesday, December 4, 2013

DOESN'T A FIANCE' count as "family"? deliberate lies by way of witholding the truth-a case in example-ALL ABOUT MR.GREEN SERIES

This Blog article is creative property of Dr.A.R aka LecinQblog.This blog article originally was written for and is meant to appear ONLY on any one of the blogs included in this list

http://www.blogger.com/profile/15524952530919224387 .If you find this blog article anywhere other than on BLOGSPOT,please visit my original blog,find my email address and email me with details of where else you read this blog entry.All my blogs are AD-free blogs AND I completely frown upon someone else trying to make money off my blogs without my prior written permission.

also,i HAVE NOT signed up for google plus..If you are reading this blog article on google plus,kindly email me mentioning whose list or google page you found my blog.

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This blog entry is part of the "ALL ABOUT MR.GREEN" SERIES.All names have been concealed in an effort to protect my own privacy and and also protect the identity of all other parties that are described in these blog articles.

None of these articles are meant as an effort to win back anyone or reconnect with anyone.None of these articles are meant to invade anyone else's privacy or meddle with their current lifestyle either.

These articles are just my effort to purge out all my bad,sad feelings about this person that still are deep rooted in my soul.These blog articles are just so that i can DETOX myself of so much heartache,feelings of second guessing myself and my judgement,the sadness,hurt,yearning and missing someone -that came with my having interacted with this person.I highly regret that I ever made his acquaintance, coz now I am left with a deep dent in my heart and soul and I feel DAMAGED .

Damage that he can never UN-DO !

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DOESN'T A FIANCE' count as "family"? deliberate lies by way of witholding the truth-a case in example-ALL ABOUT MR.GREEN SERIES

When you look at the images attached to this blog,you will see that these tweets are from 2009.

yeah,way back from 2009 and the fact that I AM MULLING over this issue to a point where I am needing to write a whole blog entry about this issue obviously exposes the deep impact this incident has left on my brain.

This blog entry is not just about mr green or my interactions with him on the internet or his personality,but ALSO about how people perceive the internet as not being real and how people assume that NOT TELLING THE TRUTH doesn't count as a lie,on and off the internet.

Does withholding vital information and truth, count as a lie?

simple answer is, YES!

Not LETTING out a VITAL PIECE OF INFORMATION is LYING,especially when you are being specificially being questioned about it.

LET US START THE STORY ,with how it all started.

you might read this same story on so many of my other blog entries under different contexts but ,AGAIN,must tell this story again.

Way back in july of 2009,mr u was in japan and i kinda tweeted some Japan tweets while he was there.

Apparently,mr green's muse and emotional soulmate,let us call him mr.baldy,who btw happens to be a MAN,was living in japan back then.

mr.green was living in japan too.

on retrospect,i gather that mr.baldy possibly HAD set up an AUTOMATED ADDER,which would add anyone that mentioned japan in their tweet .(i wasn't aware of this automated set up at all back then)

For me,no matter which website or social media site I am on,on the internet,I interact with people,LIKE THEY ARE REAL,(coz they are real) and I also am VERY SELECTIVE ABOUT WHOM I ADD or interact with on the net,just like I am selective as to whom i talk to in non-internet life!

So,when someone adds me,I often assume that they are just as earnest like I am,in WANTING TO MAKE FRIENDS OR ADD FRIENDS or talk to me.

So,I assumed that this mr green's muse, mr.baldy, BY LIEU of having added me to his twitter friends list obvioiusly really wanted to talk to me or be friends with me.

So I proceeded to start talking and interacting with mr.baldy on twitter.

Within a day of mr baldy adding me,some other guy from japan also added me..

that seemed weird and CLEARLY AUTOMATED...so,I was like,"what is with all these aussie men living in japan adding me !"

I went and looked this new guy up...and soon figured out that he was mr.baldy's "friend".

I was like,"hey,no problem! let me add this guy as well,friends of friends are friends too ,right?"

so yeah,this second guy , was mr.green.

I never initially saw mr.green as a PRIMARY FRIEND..I just saw him as this friend of friend..

But soon, in every conversation between mr.baldy and me,HE WOULD BUTT IN TOO...

for the longest time, I was amused and flattered...I was like,"wait a minute,why is mr.green so eager to start a convo with me?"

for the longest time,I was under the impression that mr.green was trying to COMPETE with mr.baldy for MY attention ...

little did i know.blah!

What mr.green was actually doing was GUARDING HIS TREASURE BF...and making sure to dissaude or keep an eye on any new female that might interact with mr.baldy.He wanted to be mr.baldy's only close friend!aaah the ways of CLOSET GAY MEN!little did i know back then!

This behavior was much like what so many insecure girlfriends do on the net or at parties..they constantly keep an eye on what their boyfriend or husband is doing and the moment they sense a threat,they come running,butting into conversations and discouraging folks by making their presence known and such!

mr.green was doing exactly that!

but anyways..back then ,i TOOK this mr.green's behavior as some kinda male heterosexual COMPETITIVE SPIRIT..to try to steal me away from mr.baldy by preventing anything developing between baldy and me..

This MISREADING of mr.green's behavior is what GOT ME INTO A LOT OF EMOTIONAL PAIN,which lasted for years ...

Anyways,that is how i got talking to mr.green..in the start.

So,as is customary for all internet interactions,we all usually start our initial introductions by mentioning our age,location and sex and relationship status..

ATLEAST, THAT IS WHAT AMERICANS DO.

And from my decade of internet social media experience,starting 1997 to 2007,I have never met a guy,who actually WAS INVOLVED and yet LIED TO ME that he was single.

yes,I have had people TRY to get all sexual,after telling me they were engaged or married and ofcourse,ONCE I KNOW they are already involved,I DON'T TOUCH THAT WITH A TEN FOOT POLE..

So,when you first meet people,ON THE NET,or outside of the net for that matter,most men i have met,that were involved,would CASUALLY insert anecdotes or mentions of their gf/wife in our initial conversations ..JUST SO THAT I KNOW THEY ALREADY HAVE ONE..

atleast,that is what is customary with americans..WE ALL volunteer information..on our own..THAT IS CALLED SELF-REGULATION .

Atleast,all the men I HAD MET SO FAR..did that..

and even if they didn't do that,a casual question about their relationship status or family was a cue FOR THEM TO REVEAL THEIR STATUS.

yes,there have been occasions where men wouldn't tell me if they were single or not AND SUCH PEOPLE would immediately be relegated to my "avoid this suspicious fella" bin..(LOL).

inability to clearly reveal your relationship status is a clear NO-NO for me when it comes to internet interaction.

So,therefore,,ALL ALONG,i was used to a STRAIGHTFORWARD APPROACH.I ask and they tell or they tell on their own right at the beginning!

Anyways,so yeah,coming back to mr.green.

I really had no interest talking to him...in the beginning

but he kept butting into conversations and such, that finally i had to pay attention.

once i decide that i am gonnna start talking with a particular person, i look them up and their profile and if no mention of relationship or wife or gf exists,then i automatically assume they don't have one...and if in doubt,I CASUALLY ASK THEM about it.

so,i sent him a casual tweet,just to confirm he was single!

So,well, if you look up at that tweet, i sent him,asking about australia and family,I REALLY wanted to know if he was single or married or involved.

had he NOT answered the question altogether,I WOULD HAVE avoided him given his inability to answer such a simple question.

but ANSWER,he did.

and look at his answer,SO CLEVERLY EVASIVE.

he says something like,"there is no whole family here"

and so with that reply,I ASSUME HE IS SINGLE...

I think, i felt safe talking on DMs or email or chat,ONLY AFTER confirming he has NO FAMILY in japan.

and then amidst conversations and emails that spanned for a couple of MONTHS,he THEN sends me a picture of himself,so that i can rate his attractiveness.

and this picture is such a high resolution picture that i can zoom all the way to his left hand to what seemed like some kind of a ring.

BOOM, it is a wedding band??

WHAT THE FUCK.

so ,yeah, anyways.

when he sent me that tweet, in august 2009,saying he has NO FAMILY in japan,HE WAS SITTING IN JAPAN,TYPING ON A KEYBOARD with a RING ON HIS FINGER..

hmmmm.

so he was wearing essentially either a engagement ring or wedding ring in the picture that he sent me in nov 2009.

hmmm,sigh!

and yet,HE CHOSE TO WITHOLD THAT INFORMATION from me.

why did he do that?

there are two possibilities

1/well, for one,MAYBE HE DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE PERSONAL INFORMATION...HE DIDN'T WANT TO REVEAL ANYTHING ABOUT HIMSELF to some woman asking him questions on twitter.hence the evasive answer

or

2/he was deliberately NOT WANTING TO TELL ME that he was engaged.

THAT MY DEAR FRIENDS IS CALLED LYING BY WAY OF WITHHOLDING THE TRUTH!

Well, again,he probably didn't want to reveal personal information to some stranger on the net that he was engaged or married..WHICH IS FINE..but then,if that is the case,why the fuck was he constantly trying to initiate conversations with me or butt into my conversations with mr baldy or try to talk to me on dm or talk to me on dm then chat then email finally leading up to a situation wherein he wanted me to rate him on his attractiveness.

if you already have a fiance' or wife,why are you MOUTHING AROUND ON THE INTERNET.

if you already have a fiance,why the reluctance to volunteer that information to me?if you have a fiance,and if you are wearing her ring.YOU SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM saying that too!

All those conversations with me starting from twitter, all the way up to that email where he sent me that picture ,where i CAUGHT him with his ring...not once, was there a mention of a gf or wife or any such..it almost looked like a single man or divorced single man showing some kind of interest in me.

so,yeah,coming back to why I am writing this blog entry.

I AM TAKING PAINS TO WRITE THIS BLOG ENTRY, to showcase how men and women behave on the internet..either because they think it is not real or because they see it as an escape from dysfunctional relationships in "real" life! and also how so many people think that withholding information IS NOT LYING..

well, it is lying.

again,there is one other possibility that in august,when that initial conversation happened,he didn't want to reveal personal info to a stranger and thus he thought that the best way to politely dodge a PERSONAL question was to give a safe answer...i can understand that..and somehow THINGS PROGRESSED with e...

but,why exactly are you the man with a ring on his finger,PROGRESSING things with other women on the net..

I didn't know you were engaged,but YOU,MR.GREEN, KNEW ,RIGHT?

even more than anything,a simpler question is.,

but see,DOESN'T A FIANCE COUNT AS "FAMILY"?

This is the woman whom he had been fucking for the past four years and whose ring he was wearing...a COMMISIONED ring at that...

so it was all official, decided and done for...

so ,in such a case,,doesn't such a woman already COUNT A FAMILY?

i DON'T KNOW..(nauseating)

is it only when she GETS STUCK with you under LEGALITIES OF MARRIAGE,wherein,if you die, she gets all your money,DOES SHE TRULY BECOME FAMILY?

WHAT IS MARRIAGE ANYWAYS?

a legal business aggreement,where you ensure that the person you are fucking gets all your wealth and property if at all something happens to you or vice-versa?

MARRIAGE IS A BUSINESS LEGAL AGGREEMENT,an legal obligation?

and in my opinion,people become your wife or husband,WITHOUT MARRIAGE,once you start fucking them exclusively on a regular basis..

so,in my view,she was already your wife..

I AM ALL ABOUT SELF-REGULATION..

I may not need marriage papers and property rights...but i value the SANCTITY OF EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS..and trust and dignity in relationships.

If i am fucking some guy and he is wearing my ring.and he goes on the internet and DOESN'T INCLUDE ME AS FAMILY, i would be very upset..is all I am saying!

Tags:engagement,relationship,love,internet_behavior,lies,lies_by_withholding_truth,truth,marriage,trust,monogamy,mr_green,mr_baldy,legal_marriage,fiance,inside_wants_out,all_about_mr_green_series

 

 

Monday, November 18, 2013

MOST READ BLOG ENTRIES FROM MY BLOG http://an-antidote-to-anger.blogspot.com/ in the past year!

Here is a list of my top TEN most visited blogs on my antidote to anger blog.
There are many more blogs entries which are widely visited as well,but I am just keeping the list short and mentioning the top ten entries.
These are stats relevant to only the past year!
I write about #pschiatry, #psychology and #psychosociology in my antidote to anger blog.
here goes
 
  1. About nasty people and gossip mongers,being incapa... Dec 27, 2012 http://an-antidote-to-anger.blogspot.com/2012/12/about-nasty-people-and-gossip.html
  2. First hit the baby, then pacify it? Mar 18, 2009 http://an-antidote-to-anger.blogspot.com/2009/03/first-hit-baby-then-pacify-it.html
  3. Procrastination and Family drama,genetics and the ... Apr 28, 2009 http://an-antidote-to-anger.blogspot.com/2009/04/procrastination-and-family-dramagenetic.html
  4. each time I hit the UNFOLLOW BUTTON Nov 25, 2009 http://an-antidote-to-anger.blogspot.com/2009/11/each-time-i-hit-unfollow-button.html
  5. The Evolution of a sketch-A man , A woman and A pa... Jun 20, 2010, http://an-antidote-to-anger.blogspot.com/2010/03/evolution-of-sketch-man-woman-and.html
  6. The 2009 Round up blog in piece meal-Does 'Not jud... Mar 5, 2010 http://an-antidote-to-anger.blogspot.com/2010/03/2009-round-up-blog-in-piece-meal-does.html
  7. Why do men leave you after having a baby ? Mar 30, 2009 http://an-antidote-to-anger.blogspot.com/2009/03/search-query-answers-why-do-men-leave.html
  8. Say it out aloud to let go off the anger Feb 16, 2009 http://an-antidote-to-anger.blogspot.com/2009/02/blog-post.html

Saturday, November 16, 2013

A whopping sixty THOUSAND and eight hundred odd people have google PLUSEd my poetry and poise blog in two days!how?

In the past two days something CURIOUS has happened.
A whopping SIXTY thousand eight hundred and forty eight people have
google plused my
POETRY AND POISE BLOG.
whoa!
GOOGLE kept asking me to join google plus and I have NOT joined so far.
so,I really wonder how my blogs are actually visible on the google
plus network enabling people to GOOGLE PLUS them!
Is my poetry and poise blog being featured on google plus?
What is happening?
baffled,surprised and honored all at the same time.
thanks to all google plus members who have read,liked and google
plused various blog entries of mine!
HONORED .
I do write six different blogs,and you can read all of them here
http://www.blogger.com/profile/15524952530919224387
I also tweet here
twitter.com/lecinqblog
twitter.com/ypumelfen
You can always say hi to me on twitter or email me even.
hugs and cheers to all readers.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Robin norwood's quote about DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES ,THEIR DEFINITION AND HOW and WHY THEY FAIL-quote and discussion

This Blog article(EXCEPT EXCERPTS OR QUOTES) is creative property of Dr.A.R aka LecinQblog.This blog article originally was written for and is meant to appear on any one of the blogs in this list

http://www.blogger.com/profile/15524952530919224387 .If you find this blog article anywhere other than on BLOGSPOT,please visit my original blog,find my email address and email me with details of where else you read this blog entry.All my blogs are AD-free blogs AND I completely frown upon someone else trying to make money off my blogs without my prior written permission.

=================================================================================================================

Robin norwood's quote about DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES ,THEIR DEFINITION AND HOW and WHY THEY FAIL

QUOTE

What all unhealthy families have in common is their inability to discuss root problems.There may be other problems that are discussed,often ad nauseum ,but these often cover up the underlying secrets that make the family dysfunctional.

A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY is one in which members play rigid roles and in which communication is severely restricted to statements that fit these roles.

Members ARE NOT FREE to express a full range of experiences,wants,needs and feelings,but rather must limit themselves to playing that part which accomodates those played by other family members.

Roles operate in all families,BUT,as circumstances change,the members must also change and adapt in order for the family to continue to remain healthy. The kind of mothering or fathering for a one year old is highly INAPPROPRIATE for a thirteen year old and the parenting role MUST ALTER TO ACCOMODATE REALITY.

In dysfunctional families,major aspects of reality are denied,and roles remain rigid.

When no one can discuss that affects every family member individually as well as the family as a whole-indeed,when such discussion is forbidden IMPLICITLY (the subject is changed) or EXPLICITLY ( we don't talk about those things) -we learn not to believe in our own perceptions or feelings.

Because our family denies our reality,we begin to deny it too.

And this SEVERLY IMPAIRS the development of our BASIC TOOLS FOR LIVING LIFE AND FOR RELATING TO PEOPLE AND SITUATIONS.

UNQUOTE

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MY PERSONAL ANECDOTE ABOUT DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES

I keep mentioning the word "dysfunctional" in many of my tweets..repeatedly..

what is dys-functional?

something that is NOT -FUNCTIONING.

SOMETHING THAT IS NOT DOING THE JOB IT IS SUPPOSED TO DO.

A family unit is supposed to be a CLOSE-KNIT group of individuals often biologically or sexually related or involved and any given family unit and its members must be in a position to be each other's support system.

When such REAL SUPPORT fails to exist in a family,the family would be deemed DYSFUNCTIONAL.

Often,people assume that GRAVE SEXUAL CRIMES AND SEXUAL ABUSE OR PHYSICAL ABUSE OR DOMESTIC BATTERING MUST BE INVOLVED IN dysfunctional families,but

as a physician who closely observes and takes notes,

THERE ARE SO MANY SUBTLE VARIATIONS OF DYSFUNCTIONALITY which are just as damaging and are FAR MORE COMMONPLACE IN so many families.They may not be DRAMATIC but they are just as damaging.

When I write articles on this ANTIDOTE TO ANGER BLOG, i often try to PICK ONE ASPECT OF DYSFUNCTIONALITY AT A TIME and deal with it in a concise manner in a blog entry.

Feel free to browse the tag-cloud and archives to reader older articles of mine where i talk about various shades of dysfunctionality.

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Tags: Robin_norwood, psychiatry, psychology, family, support_system, dysfunctionality,dysfunctional_families, family_unit,quotes

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=================================================================================================================

DISCLAIMER:

I am a 34yr old board certified female physician aka medical doctor.I have studied enough psychiatry to write articles on human psychology and psychiatry with an informed authority.As is evident from this blog of mine,I do infact WRITE articles on various aspects of socio-psychology from time to time.

I personally frown upon plagiarism and thus HAVE TO INSIST that quoting from norwood's book is NOT an effort in plagiarism.I could very well attempt to write articles on the very topics I am now quoting using norwood's words,but since I notice,that she has already done such a good and eloquent job of writing about the topics I am discussing here and since my blogs are essentially advertisement free and since I don't earn any money from my blog entries,and since norwood's book was first published in 1985 and it has almost been more than 25 years since then,quoting words from her book for NON-COMMERCIAL educational purposes might qualify as FAIR-USAGE?

Just for the sake of copyright,I am going to provide the name of the publishers who currently are associated with the book .

The name of the book from which I am quoting excerpts is WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH.

The name of the publishers ?

POCKET BOOKS which is a DIVISION of SIMON AND SCHUSTER INC. ,NYC.

www.simonandschuster.com/

They have a website and if you wish to procure a copy of this book,surely,they are the right people to be contacted.Here I have to CLARIFY,that I have NOT been paid by them or anyone else ,to quote excerpts from this book,nor have I been paid in any form or kind ,to mention them or the book in my blog.I am just doing this to share some relevant parts of the book for educational purposes for the benefit of my blog readers.

This book was first published in 1984 by pocket books.The copy I own was purchased from an used book store in 2005 and was a 1997,special tenth anniversary edition.

I may not completely agree with EVERYTHING in this book.However,so many sections are relevant NOT just to women,but also to men even in today's circumstances and times,27years since the book was first published.

MY PERSONAL ADVICE ABOUT SELF-HELP BOOKS?

Whenever we read a book ,or read anything anywhere for that matter,IT IS UP TO US,to take and assimilate whatever applies to us and whatever strikes right to us and leave behind what our mind percieves as something we don't want to learn.

IT IS ALL A VOLUNTARY EFFORT OF SELF DISCOVERY.There is absolutely no need to AGREE with everything every self-help book writer says.But,if something in a book or blog ,TOUCHES A CHORD in you,then assimilate it into your being, is all I am saying.

To me,it felt like,norwood almost makes you feel BAD for wanting to help others ,coz,see,according to the book,if you try to help someone out,then that means there is something WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD?

pun apart,really though,THERE IS nothing wrong with wanting to help others.INFACT,there are chances that there MAY BE NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU,if you want to help others.Infact,helping others is a great idea too.

Probably what she is trying to say through this book is that HELPING OTHERS at the cost of your own physical and mental health IS A RED FLAG.And I agree but again,helping others is a great idea!

having said that,there are some other topics in her book,which are VERY RELEVANT ,for all of us,AS THINKING FEELING HUMAN BEINGS and as human beings who have emotionally shut ourselves down to a point of numbness.

This book was on the NUMBER ONE newyorktimes bestseller list.But,then,I don't really place much importance to the nytimes bestseller list,coz,all kindsa IDIOT BOOKS do make it to that list..so,yeah,don't go by bestseller lists.Just read and assimilate what you feel is right.k?

Robin Norwood's guidelines for identifying WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH-quote and discussion

This Blog article(EXCEPT EXCERPTS and QUOTES) is creative property of Dr.A.R aka LecinQblog.This blog article originally was written for and is meant to appear on any one of the blogs in this list

http://www.blogger.com/profile/15524952530919224387 .If you find this blog article anywhere other than on BLOGSPOT,please visit my original blog,find my email address and email me with details of where else you read this blog entry.All my blogs are AD-free blogs AND I completely frown upon someone else trying to make money off my blogs without my prior written permission.

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Robin Norwood guidelines for identifying WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH

QUOTE

1/Typically,you come from a dysfunctional home in which YOUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS WERE NOT MET.

2/Having received little real nurturing yourself,you try to fill this unmet need vicariously by becoming a care-giver,especially to men who appear ,in some way,needy.

3/Because you were never able to change your parent(s) into the warm,loving caretaker(s) you longed for,you respond deeply to the familiar type of EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE MAN whom you can again try to change through your love.

4/Terrified of abandonment,you will do anything to keep a relationship from dissolving.

5/Almost nothing is too much trouble,takes too much time ,or is too expensive if it will "help" the man you are involved with.

6/ACCUSTOMED TO LACK OF LOVE IN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS ,you are WILLING TO WAIT,HOPE and try harder to please

7/You are willing to take far more than 50 percent of the RESPONSIBILITY,guilt,and blame in any relationship.

8/Your self-esteem is critically low ,and deep inside YOU DO NOT BELIEVE YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.Rather ,you believe you must EARN the right to enjoy life.

9/You have a desperate need to control your menand your relationships,having experienced LITTLE SECURITY IN CHILDHOOD.,You MASK your efforts to control people and situations as "BEING HELPFUL"

10/In a relationship,you are much more in touch with your dream OF HOW IT COULD BE than with the REALITY OF THE SITUATION.

11/You are addicted to men and to emotional pain.

12/You may be predisposed emotionally and often biochemically to becoming addicted to drugs,alcohol and /or certain foods,particularly sugary ones.

13/By being drawn to PEOPLE WITH PROBLEMS THAT NEED FIXING,or by being enmeshed in situations that are CHAOTIC,UNCERTAIN,AND EMOTIONALLY PAINFUL,you AVOID FOCUSING ON YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO YOURSELF.

14/You may have a tendency towards episodes of depression,which you try to FORESTALL through the EXCITEMENT PROVIDED BY AN UNSTABLE RELATIONSHIP.

15/You are not attracted to men who are kind,stable,reliable and interested in you .You find such "nice" men boring.

==============================================================

Tags:

Tags: Robin_norwood, psychiatry, psychology, family, support_system, dysfunctionality,dysfunctional_families, family_unit,quotes,women_who_love_too_much,book_review,11days300pages,love,desire,romance,women,Guidelines to identify women who love too much

=================================================================================================================

DISCLAIMER:

I am a 34yr old board certified female physician aka medical doctor.I have studied enough psychiatry to write articles on human psychology and psychiatry with an informed authority.As is evident from this blog of mine,I do infact WRITE articles on various aspects of socio-psychology from time to time.

I personally frown upon plagiarism and thus HAVE TO INSIST that quoting from norwood's book is NOT an effort in plagiarism.I could very well attempt to write articles on the very topics I am now quoting using norwood's words,but since I notice,that she has already done such a good and eloquent job of writing about the topics I am discussing here and since my blogs are essentially advertisement free and since I don't earn any money from my blog entries,and since norwood's book was first published in 1985 and it has almost been more than 25 years since then,quoting words from her book for NON-COMMERCIAL educational purposes might qualify as FAIR-USAGE?

Just for the sake of copyright,I am going to provide the name of the publishers who currently are associated with the book .

The name of the book from which I am quoting excerpts is WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH.

The name of the publishers ?

POCKET BOOKS which is a DIVISION of SIMON AND SCHUSTER INC. ,NYC.

www.simonandschuster.com/

They have a website and if you wish to procure a copy of this book,surely,they are the right people to be contacted.Here I have to CLARIFY,that I have NOT been paid by them or anyone else ,to quote excerpts from this book,nor have I been paid in any form or kind ,to mention them or the book in my blog.I am just doing this to share some relevant parts of the book for educational purposes for the benefit of my blog readers.

This book was first published in 1984 by pocket books.The copy I own was purchased from an used book store in 2005 and was a 1997,special tenth anniversary edition.

I may not completely agree with EVERYTHING in this book.However,so many sections are relevant NOT just to women,but also to men even in today's circumstances and times,27years since the book was first published.

MY PERSONAL ADVICE ABOUT SELF-HELP BOOKS?

Whenever we read a book ,or read anything anywhere for that matter,IT IS UP TO US,to take and assimilate whatever applies to us and whatever strikes right to us and leave behind what our mind percieves as something we don't want to learn.

IT IS ALL A VOLUNTARY EFFORT OF SELF DISCOVERY.There is absolutely no need to AGREE with everything every self-help book writer says.But,if something in a book or blog ,TOUCHES A CHORD in you,then assimilate it into your being, is all I am saying.

To me,it felt like,norwood almost makes you feel BAD for wanting to help others ,coz,see,according to the book,if you try to help someone out,then that means there is something WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD?

pun apart,really though,THERE IS nothing wrong with wanting to help others.INFACT,there are chances that there MAY BE NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU,if you want to help others.Infact,helping others is a great idea too.

Probably what she is trying to say through this book is that HELPING OTHERS at the cost of your own physical and mental health IS A RED FLAG.And I agree but again,helping others is a great idea!

having said that,there are some other topics in her book,which are VERY RELEVANT ,for all of us,AS THINKING FEELING HUMAN BEINGS and as human beings who have emotionally shut ourselves down to a point of numbness.

This book was on the NUMBER ONE newyorktimes bestseller list.But,then,I don't really place much importance to the nytimes bestseller list,coz,all kindsa IDIOT BOOKS do make it to that list..so,yeah,don't go by bestseller lists.Just read and assimilate what you feel is right.k?

 

Robin Norwood talks about LABELS-QUOTE and discussion

This Blog article(EXCEPT EXCERPTS) is creative property of Dr.A.R aka LecinQblog.This blog article originally was written for and is meant to appear on any one of the blogs in this list

http://www.blogger.com/profile/15524952530919224387 .If you find this blog article anywhere other than on BLOGSPOT,please visit my original blog,find my email address and email me with details of where else you read this blog entry.All my blogs are AD-free blogs AND I completely frown upon someone else trying to make money off my blogs without my prior written permission.

=================================================================================================================

QUOTE

Perhaps,though your problems with men are similar to theirs,you will have difficulty associating yourself with the "labels" that apply to come of these women's backgrounds.We all have strong emotional reactions to words like ALCOHOLISM,incest,VIOLENCE and addiction , and sometimes we cannot look at our own lives realistically because we are so afraid of having these LABELS apply to us or to those we love.

Sadly, our inability to use the words where they apply often precludes our getting APPROPRIATE HELP.

UNQUOTE

This is an excerpt from the book WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH by Robin Norwood.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My personal anecdote about labels

If you are a regular reader of my tweets,you will also notice how much i dislike stereotyping and labels and rigid useless social rules.

PEOPLE label things coz they don't understand certain behaviors or are afraid of certain behaviors..

labelling is used as a social technique to control and stigmatize ..IT IS THE SOCIAL STIGMA associated with labels that I object to.``

==============================================================

Tags:

Tags: Robin_norwood, psychiatry, psychology, family, support_system, dysfunctionality,dysfunctional_families, family_unit,quotes,women_who_love_too_much,book_review,11days300pages,love,desire,romance,women,labels,sociology

=================================================================================================================

DISCLAIMER:

I am a 34yr old board certified female physician aka medical doctor.I have studied enough psychiatry to write articles on human psychology and psychiatry with an informed authority.As is evident from this blog of mine,I do infact WRITE articles on various aspects of socio-psychology from time to time.

I personally frown upon plagiarism and thus HAVE TO INSIST that quoting from norwood's book is NOT an effort in plagiarism.I could very well attempt to write articles on the very topics I am now quoting using norwood's words,but since I notice,that she has already done such a good and eloquent job of writing about the topics I am discussing here and since my blogs are essentially advertisement free and since I don't earn any money from my blog entries,and since norwood's book was first published in 1985 and it has almost been more than 25 years since then,quoting words from her book for NON-COMMERCIAL educational purposes might qualify as FAIR-USAGE?

Just for the sake of copyright,I am going to provide the name of the publishers who currently are associated with the book .

The name of the book from which I am quoting excerpts is WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH.

The name of the publishers ?

POCKET BOOKS which is a DIVISION of SIMON AND SCHUSTER INC. ,NYC.

www.simonandschuster.com/

They have a website and if you wish to procure a copy of this book,surely,they are the right people to be contacted.Here I have to CLARIFY,that I have NOT been paid by them or anyone else ,to quote excerpts from this book,nor have I been paid in any form or kind ,to mention them or the book in my blog.I am just doing this to share some relevant parts of the book for educational purposes for the benefit of my blog readers.

This book was first published in 1984 by pocket books.The copy I own was purchased from an used book store in 2005 and was a 1997,special tenth anniversary edition.

I may not completely agree with EVERYTHING in this book.However,so many sections are relevant NOT just to women,but also to men even in today's circumstances and times,27years since the book was first published.

MY PERSONAL ADVICE ABOUT SELF-HELP BOOKS?

Whenever we read a book ,or read anything anywhere for that matter,IT IS UP TO US,to take and assimilate whatever applies to us and whatever strikes right to us and leave behind what our mind percieves as something we don't want to learn.

IT IS ALL A VOLUNTARY EFFORT OF SELF DISCOVERY.There is absolutely no need to AGREE with everything every self-help book writer says.But,if something in a book or blog ,TOUCHES A CHORD in you,then assimilate it into your being, is all I am saying.

To me,it felt like,norwood almost makes you feel BAD for wanting to help others ,coz,see,according to the book,if you try to help someone out,then that means there is something WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD?

pun apart,really though,THERE IS nothing wrong with wanting to help others.INFACT,there are chances that there MAY BE NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU,if you want to help others.Infact,helping others is a great idea too.

Probably what she is trying to say through this book is that HELPING OTHERS at the cost of your own physical and mental health IS A RED FLAG.And I agree but again,helping others is a great idea!

having said that,there are some other topics in her book,which are VERY RELEVANT ,for all of us,AS THINKING FEELING HUMAN BEINGS and as human beings who have emotionally shut ourselves down to a point of numbness.

This book was on the NUMBER ONE newyorktimes bestseller list.But,then,I don't really place much importance to the nytimes bestseller list,coz,all kindsa IDIOT BOOKS do make it to that list..so,yeah,don't go by bestseller lists.Just read and assimilate what you feel is right.k?

 

 

Saturday, October 12, 2013

MR.T OPENS HIS STUPID MOUTH AND THE SEXUALITY FLIES OUT THE WINDOW?the love boat has sailed!

This Blog article is creative property of Dr.A.R aka LecinQblog.This blog article originally was written for and is meant to appear on any one of the blogs in this list

http://www.blogger.com/profile/15524952530919224387 .If you find this blog article anywhere other than on BLOGSPOT,please visit my original blog,find my email address and email me with details of where else you read this blog entry.All my blogs are AD-free blogs AND I completely frown upon someone else trying to make money off my blogs without my prior written permission.

===================================================================================================================

 

I meant to write this blog article maybe a couple of months ago...and given that blogs that were meant to be written way back in nov 2005 are still pending(yes,I WAS BLOGGING EVEN THEN and even much before that!),This minor delay in writing this blog is just fine.no?

A couple of months ago,MR.T posted something online,which if you examine carefully was done by him in a spirit of PLAYFULNESS .He was attempting to be funny.

Sometimes the strange deep truths of our souls suddenly get exposed when they are trying to be funny.

He made a joke,which if you look carefully,exposes his own racist undertones...and...the fact that he didn't even realize prior to making such a joke that it could possibly be construed as being racist,tells how NORMAL he consider such a joke to be !

For me getting turned on by someone ,HAS A STRONG ILLOGICAL EMOTIONAL FACTOR TO IT.AGain,so many underlying factors to why i find whom sexy too!maybe another blog entry for that,k?

So,yeah,anyways...DON'T WANT TO GO INTO THE EXACT JOKE HE SAID..AND WHATEVER..

But then once he made that joke..I WAS LIKE, 'what?"

Anyways,I pointed it out to him,many many days later,as to how thoughtless his joke was...

NOT SURE,if he took my criticism TOO MUCH to his heart or what.

Either ways..Ever since that joke incident happened...I DON'T FIND HIM SEXY ANYMORE.

Yes,the man about whom I WROTE THE LONGEST POEM IN MY BLOG HISTORY...LOL,that man,MR.T,I didn't find sexy anymore.:(((

Mr.T

says something stupid and boom,IN ONE GO,his smouldering sexuality flies out the window..and suddenly,I start looking at him like what he really is.

He is married

.(usually the moment i know someone is married,I automatically get turned off-but anyways)

He is too old

(again,once someone is not in my age group 3 yrs give or take,THEY AUTOMATICALLY create a mental block-but off late, so many older men catching my interest.:(( I blame mr.green for doing this to my mindset-he kinda eliminated that mindblock and now I am jail broken!

He has the responsibility of three kids

and a financially dependant wife! (Again,way back in 2008,i wrote a blog entry about what kind of a man i would date or marry, and mr.t IS LIKE a sure ANTI-THESIS to those list of things i want in a man.Not sure which blog i wrote this blog entry on-just scroll up to the top of the page and there are links to all five or six blogs I write and you can scour the archives for that older blog entry...fun read, I insist)

He is a high school drop-out. (

I am of the opinion that all of us must have the determination to complete SOME BASIC EDUCATION -like a GRAD DEGREE..Doing a post grad and phd is totally a further decision..but please please GO TO COLLEGE-IT IS A RITE OF PASSAGE)

He is not a SUPER-genius at his trade either.

His expertise comes from having done the same thing for years and years...When people get good at things they did for years and decades,that is NOT genius..it is DEDICATION AND HARDWORK and practice.(which are good things,btw)

Now ,after he said that "something stupid",suddenly,all I COULD SEE HIM is as this old man,who dropped out of school,picked up whatever job he could,WORKED HARD and gained material success and fame but still his job is not some SUPER GENIUS INTELLECTUAL JOB OR SOME SUCH...he has a wife, kids,and well, NOT MY TYPE!

FUNNY,how some sudden incident BREAKS UP THE MIRAGE we were floating in comfortably for so long...I AM GLAD THAT MIRAGE GOT BROKEN,coz now,I FEEL FREE( I don't have committment phobia or anything..but committing to the wrong things is detrimental to self-growth and suffocating)

Anyways,there are still some warm feelings of goodwill left..

coz,

I STILL SEE HIM AS A KIND MAN AND A NICE PERSON and a chirpy quirky funny personality.. and his face maybe old but still cute nevertheless..and the reason why I NAMED HIM MR.T is coz he has an amazingly bronze naturally tan complexion--and i like that very much...and he still has that complexion ...so the name stays good

aND SINCE he is still a NICE PERSON in my books.I WILL ALWAYS WISH HIM WELL... and want him to do good...Best wishes? AND HUGS TOO...( I am such a hugs person)

but as of now, THE LOVE BOAT HAS SAILED and I am still one the shore! yay!

Tags: mr_t, love_lost, love, happiness, kindness,simplicity,sweet_guy,old_man,hugs_and_goodbye,

Monday, October 7, 2013

THE IRONY OF MR.GREEN'S CONTRASTING WORDS-PART TWO-"ALL ABOUT MR.GREEN"SERIES-article 3

This Blog article is creative property of Dr.A.R aka LecinQblog.This blog article originally was written for and is meant to appear ONLY on any one of the blogs included in this list

http://www.blogger.com/profile/15524952530919224387 .If you find this blog article anywhere other than on BLOGSPOT,please visit my original blog,find my email address and email me with details of where else you read this blog entry.All my blogs are AD-free blogs AND I completely frown upon someone else trying to make money off my blogs without my prior written permission.

============================================================================

This blog entry is part of the "ALL ABOUT MR.GREEN" SERIES.All names have been concealed in an effort to protect my own privacy and and also protect the identity of all other parties that are described in these blog articles.

None of these articles are meant as an effort to win back anyone or reconnect with anyone.None of these articles are meant to invade anyone else's privacy or meddle with their current lifestyle either.

These articles are just my effort to purge out all my bad,sad feelings about this person that still are deep rooted in my soul.These blog articles are just so that i can DETOX myself of so much heartache,feelings of second guessing myself and my judgement,the sadness,hurt,yearning and missing someone -that came with my having interacted with this person.I highly regret that I ever made his acquaintance, coz now I am left with a deep dent in my heart and soul and I feel DAMAGED .

Damage that he can never UN-DO !

==================================================================================================================

THE IRONY OF MR.GREEN'S CONTRASTING WORDS-PART TWO

In Dec 2009, mr.green made a PUBLIC tweet, on his timeline,and it read like this.

QUOTE

somebody helped me to be healthy xyz(his name) ,hoping ,wishing,praying,wanting another motivational email in a time of need.Else I could be lost

UNQUOTE

After reading this tweet,I kinda figured that this somebody was ME! but then,you never know,who else was also writing him motivational emails ...

Given that he was OFFICIALLY with this woman in his city and yet,was still secretly exchanging deep emotionally charged emails with me,with no intention whatsoever of ever leaving that REAL-LIFE woman he had on hand.

Given that he was capable of doing that,ANYTHING WAS POSSIBLE.

Given that he had the capacity to maintain a POKER FACE,like everything was "NORMAL" and as usual,while he was around her,when infact,he was exchanging deep,emotional,spiritual and intellectually stimulating emails with me,kinda told me that THIS MAN HAS dichotomized his brain.

The part of the brain that was fucking that woman , was this OTHER SIDE,that he would switch ON,while in her presence and the part of his brain that was romancing me,WAS THIS YET ANOTHER SIDE,that he would switch ON,while he was talking to me.And,while he was talking to me,he probably would switch off HER side and while he was fucking her at night, or early morning(before leaving for work),he would switch off MY SIDE of his brain?

Well,AN EMOTIONALLY DISCONNECTED AND EMOTIONALLY NULLED state of brain is able to do a lot of CONFLICTING ACTIONS,because it switches off its QUESTIONING SIDE OF CONSCIENCE.

gosh,i DIGRESS so much on a tangent!

coming back to the sentence,GIVEN,given that I knew that he is such a mentally compartmentalized person,by then,I HAD figured out ,that it is perfectly possible that he might be talking the same way he talks to me with a third person or a fourth person or many such women at the same time and I WON'T EVEN KNOW THE DIFFERENCE...just like this woman he was fucking on a regular basis in his own city didn't know the difference...when he started emailing me...

An emotionally intelligent person should be able to sense a change in the personality of their spouse ,EVEN,if the spouse,DOESN'T come out and say what he or she is doing behind their back.

Anyways,after reading that tweet,it struck me,

Given that he is a poker faced mind,IT IS POSSIBLE,that the MOTIVATIONAL EMAILS,were from ANOTHER SOMEBODY?

So,but,I HAD TO REALLY REALLY KNOW!

So,I emailed him ,IMMEDIATELY...within a half hour after that tweet.

I had to EGO-BOOST myself with a confirmation that the SOMEBODY he referred to in that tweet, was infact me.

He emailed back immediately too..just like was customary back then...

It was newyear's or christmas eve I think and he was just going back home after a SPREE of office drinking parties...

HE WAS DRUNK when he made that tweet!

Part of me was disappointed and part of me was sad and part of me was happy.

Why was I happy?

Do people tend to TELL TRUTHS WHEN DRUNK?

if so,THEN,the liquid courage has made this man BLATANTLY make public tweets about his INNER FEELINGS,without thinking about the fact that the had THOUSANDS of other followers,who were ALSO,reading that public tweet.

Why was I sad?

Again,PEOPLE DO THINGS they don't REALLY MEAN TO DO,when they are drunk.

So,really,a drunkTHANQ note ,doesn't stay valid..coz,he really probably NEVER MEANT IT with all his conscience.He wasn't in his RIGHT MIND while typing out that public tweet.

I WOULD RATHER that people thank me IN FULL CONSCIOUS MODE,rather than in a drunken stupor.

So,why was I disappointed?

I mean,the reason why i started talking to this guy,was to COUNSEL him out of his alcoholism.So,now,the fact that he was DRUNK OUT OF HIS MIND..kinda totally disappointed me.

hmmmmmmm

So,I EMAILED HIM TO FIND OUT THAT NIGHT,who,this "SOMEBODY" was.

He wrote back ,saying that IT WAS ME.

So,yeah,I WAS HIS MOTIVATIONAL PERSON BACK THEN.

truth be said, I AM STILL HIS MOTIVATIONAL PERSON.

he derives from me in his darkest hours.I KNOW THAT,he knows that.HE HAS TOLD ME THAT.

(Tearing up slightly now)

***********************************************************************

FASTFORWARD FIVE MONTHS

MAY 2010.

During this month,HE SAID AND DID, things that IMMENSELY HURT ME..emotionally!

This hurt that he gave me during that month,UNFORTUNATELY stays with me till today...four years later.

I STILL HURT today,when I THINK OF THOSE HURTFUL MOMENTS.

HIS WORDS and his actions were thoughtless and immature and self-centered and PETTY!

There are MATURE,adult ways to deal with situations...but the way he DEALT with his "situation" was useless,moronic,immature and stupid!

HIM not wanting to talk to me anymore was NOT the issue at all.Everyone has a right to choose not to talk to anyone they don't want to, at anytime.

THAT IS NOT THE ISSUE.

The issue was ME MISSING THE MEMO.

The issue was,HIM NOT TELLING ME,and telling everyone else!

HIM choosing cheap methods to convey that message Was what hurt me.

There was no need to drag in hapless third parties into the scene at all.

anyways,sigh,

IN MAY 2010,he made this following PUBLIC tweet,AS A REPLY TO A THIRD PARTY, -

QUOTE

@123(third party) My big mistake was not keeping my tweets private.oh and talking to her

UNQUOTE

At that point of time,HE WAS SO CAUGHT up in his need to prove himself a nice man to his so called "friends" that he decided to cast me as the VILLAIN in his story..Where,he is this happless victim man with public tweets and I am this crazy lady on twitter,who read his public tweets and STALKED HIM and he being the nice man JUST TALKED TO ME and ofcourse,THAT WAS SUCH A MISTAKE on his part.

WHAT THE F*CK!

WHAT THE F*CK!

you shameless idiot!

WHAT THE F*CK!

And ofcourse,this third party person(just like all escapist third party people all over the world) likes listening to dramatic gossipy stories where a talented doctor woman is cast as this stalker villian against this VICTIM MAN,to whom, THEN ,she shall be the shoulder to cry on!

( I think,talentless financially dependant housewives derive great pleasure when talented young women are cast as villians in stories where men like their husbands are the happless victims.makes them feel better about their shitty ,purposeless lives I suppose!)

WHAT THE f*CK.

All third parties must always have the intelligence to know that ALL STORIES HAVE TWO SIDES.and they are just a mere onlooker third party,WITH NO clue as to what happened REALLY!

yeah?

Anyways,AGAIN,this blog entry is the second in the series of the title-IRONY OF MR.GREEN'S CONSTRASTING WORDS

One thing I would like to tell him is,"DUDE,it is so easy to make another person look like a crazy-looney"

All of us are crazy-loonies,IF WE MICROSCOPICALLY EXAMINE ourselves..

SO,yeah,anyways,

let me tell you your REAL MISTAKE.

your real mistake was to continue in a dysfunctional relationship with this woman whom you continued to fuck even after you started talking to me.

YOUR MISTAKES,are too many,

a lot many.

And I shall talk about more of them in forthcoming blogs.

I SHALL ALSO TALK ABOUT ,

MY OWN MISTAKES TOO..

which there are too many too.

Tags: #irony, #contrasting_words, #emotionally_disconnected, #poker_face, #mr_green, #2009 , #2010, #journal , #life_stories , #all_ABOUT_mr_green

 

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

EXCERPTS FROM ROBIN NORWOOOD'S BOOK " WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH" -PART 1-defining my relationship with mr.green-SELF-ANALYSIS

1234567890
 

This Blog article is creative property of Dr.A.R aka LecinQblog.This blog article originally was written for and is meant to appear on any one of the blogs in this list

http://www.blogger.com/profile/15524952530919224387 .If you find this blog article anywhere other than on BLOGSPOT,please visit my original blog,find my email address and email me with details of where else you read this blog entry.All my blogs are AD-free blogs AND I completely frown upon someone else trying to make money off my blogs without my prior written permission.

=================================================================================================================

EXCERPTS FROM ROBIN NORWOOOD'S BOOK " WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH" -PART 1

PAGE NO 176

The part very relevant for me in defining my relationship with mr.green-SELF-ANALYSIS

QUOTE

For the woman who loves too much,the practice of denial,magnanimously rephrased as "overlooking his faults" or "keeping a positive attitude," conveniently sidesteps the TWO-TO-TANGO aspect of how his shortcomings allow her to practice her familiar roles.When her drive to control masquerades as "being helpful" and "giving encouragement",WHAT IS IGNORED again is her own need for the superiority and power implied in this kind of interaction!

UNQUOTE

MY ANALYSIS OF MY PAST RELATIONSHIP WITH MR.GREEN using this quote as a reference

First off,GUILTY AS CHARGED.

I mean,when I go read my old emails to him or my old blog entries about him,I notice that I constantly use words or phrases that amount to,OVERLOOKING HIS FAULTS,blah blah blah, AND BEING HELPFUL,blah blah blah and GIVING ENCOURAGEMENT,

Infact,FUNNILy,given that I am a doctor and well versed in psychiatry,in an ironic manner,I MYSELF mentioned the TWO-TO-TANGO analogy too somewhere in my tweets and emails back then.

seriously,wtf!

I think My decision to get romantically involved with mr.green ,DEFINITELY had elements of "MY OWN NEEDS FOR SUPERIORITY and power"...coz,see,It all started off with me trying to have COUNSELING CONVERSATIONS WITH HIM FOR HIS ALCOHOLISM.

He kept steering the conversations into a sexually toned conversation.

I mean,i am a doctor.so,seriously,I SHOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN INVOLVED WITH HIM ROMANTICALLY given how troubled he was.But I did.why?

The reason why i thought it was okay to do so ,was coz,somewhere in the deepest depths of my mind,I was enjoying that NEED FOR SUPERIORITY that comes with being that ENCOURAGING WOMAN TO A TROUBLED ALCOHOLIC MAN?

hmmmmm,also,the whole time that the interaction lasted,I was clearly AWARE that there was something wrong in me,for wanting to be with him.LOL..AND I KEPT MENTIONING THAT IN EMAILS TO HIM...seriously.wtf!

=================================================================================================================

DISCLAIMER:

I am a 34yr old board certified female physician aka medical doctor.I have studied enough psychiatry to be able to write articles on human psychology and psychiatry with an informed authority.As is evident from this blog of mine,I do infact WRITE articles on various aspects of socio-psychology from time to time.

I personally frown upon plagiarism and thus HAVE TO INSIST that quoting from norwood's book is NOT an effort in plagiarism.I could very well attempt to write articles on these very topics that I am now quoting using norwood's words,but since I notice,that she has already done such a good and eloquent job of writing about the topics I am discussing here and since my blogs are essentially advertisement-free and since I don't earn any money from my blog entries,and since norwood's book was first published in 1985 and it has almost been more than 25 years since then,quoting words from her book for NON-COMMERCIAL educational purposes might qualify as FAIR-USAGE?

Just for the sake of copyright,I am going to provide the name of the publishers who currently are associated with the book .

The name of the book from which I am quoting excerpts is WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH.

The name of the publishers ?

POCKET BOOKS which is a DIVISION of SIMON AND SCHUSTER INC. ,NYC.

www.simonandschuster.com/

They have a website and if you wish to procure a copy of this book,surely,they are the right people to be contacted.

Here I have to CLARIFY,that I have NOT been paid by them or anyone else ,to quote excerpts from this book,nor have I been paid in any form or kind ,to mention them or the book in my blog.I am just doing this to share some relevant parts of the book for educational purposes for the benefit of my blog readers.

This book was first published in 1984 by pocket books.The copy I own was purchased from an used book store in 2005 and was a 1997,special tenth anniversary edition.

I may not completely agree with EVERYTHING in this book.However,so many sections are relevant NOT just to women,but also to men even in today's circumstances and times,27years since the book was first published.

MY PERSONAL ADVICE ABOUT SELF-HELP BOOKS?

Whenever we read a book ,or read anything anywhere for that matter,IT IS UP TO US,to take and assimilate whatever applies to us and whatever strikes right to us and leave behind what our mind percieves as something we don't want to learn.

IT IS ALL A VOLUNTARY EFFORT OF SELF DISCOVERY.There is absolutely no need to AGREE with everything every self-help book writer says.But,if something in a book or blog ,TOUCHES A CHORD in you,then assimilate it into your being, is all I am saying.

To me,it felt like,norwood almost makes you feel BAD for wanting to help others ,coz,see,according to the book,if you try to help someone out,then that means there is something WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD?

pun apart,really though,THERE IS nothing wrong with wanting to help others.INFACT,there are chances that there MAY BE NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU,if you want to help others.Infact,helping others is a great idea too.

Probably,what she is trying to say through this book is that HELPING OTHERS at the cost of your own physical and mental health IS A RED FLAG.And I agree with her.But again ,I still think that helping others is a great idea!

Having said all this,there are some other topics in her book,which are VERY RELEVANT ,for all of us,AS THINKING FEELING HUMAN BEINGS and as human beings who have emotionally shut ourselves down to a point of numbness.

This book was on the NUMBER ONE newyorktimes bestseller list.But,then,I don't really place much importance to the nytimes bestseller list,coz,all kindsa IDIOT BOOKS do make it to that list..so,yeah,don't go by bestseller lists.

Just read and assimilate what you feel is right.k?

 

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Why am I your object of harrassment now?

Why have I been an object of your
harrasment,spying,malware,gossip-mongering ,callous
attitude,self-absorbed-love interactions,jealousy,breach of
privacy,emotional violation,abandonment,indignity,and disrespect ever
since 2009 when I first interacted with you?

why am I the object of your CONSTANT harrassment,I ask?

Because,you are angry at yourself that you were not GOOD ENOUGH for us
to have had a normal romance that would have headed towards something
permanent?

Because,you are angry at yourself that you almost had me and with your
own stupidity you lost me?

Because,you are angry at your own wickedness and stupidity that makes
you UNDESERVING of a person like me?

Because,you are angry at your own point in your life wherein you met
me, a point in life where you CAN'T or couldn't AFFORD to wait around
and try things out without having it as SURE THING?Too old to try out
fleeting love without it being a sure thing?

What exactly are you angry about in yourself that makes you feel NOT
GOOD ENOUGH,not good enough for me to want to be with you forever?

WHAT ARE YOU ANGRY ABOUT.What causes you to harrass me so much?

This suffocates me,shuts me down,stops me from functioning at the pace
I WANT TO in life.
I want to live life again,LIKE I NEVER MET YOU.like,i don't know
you,like i never knew you ever.
That is not possible,if you keep visiting my blog.
I have emailed you and told you about this..so,why the fuck are you
visitng my blog?why?
Forgetting you just gets THAT TAD BIT tougher ,each time you visit my blog.
I have already emailed you and asked you not to.

So,why do you do it?out of the blue,just months later,JUST WHEN I
THINK, I AM READY TO MOVE ON.
Won't you fucking let me move on?what is the wicked intent?
YOU HAVE NO CONCERN to safegaurd my emotional well being!

Surely,you are not visiting my blogs with some honest,genuine intent
of pure love where you miss me.
Surely,because,if that were the case,you would rather EMAIL me instead
of being the blog voyeur THAT YOU ARE ......that you always were.

This bothers me..So,PLEASE DON'T EVER VISIT MY BLOG.

If you miss me,have the decency to email me and tell me how much you miss me.
If you want to ask me things or talk to me,email me.
If you love me,email me and tell me how much you love me.
Have some courage to tell IN WORDS, what you really think,even you if
you hate me.
If you don't miss me,don't email me,but please don't spy and snoop on my blogs.
I DON'T LIKE SNEAKY BEHAVIOR!

tAGS: #mr_green, #violation, #sadness, #suffocation, #life,
#life_lessons, #spying, #malware, #breach_of_privacy,#love,
#abandonment, #jealousy, #malware ,#privacy, #goodbye

Friday, September 20, 2013

Feeling Very Drained after three articles on mr.green!

This Blog article is creative property of Dr.A.R aka LecinQblog.This
blog article originally was written for and is meant to appear on any
one of the blogs in this list
http://www.blogger.com/profile/15524952530919224387 .If you find this
blog article anywhere other than on BLOGSPOT,please visit my original
blog,find my email address and email me with details of where else you
read this blog entry.All my blogs are AD-free blogs AND I completely
frown upon someone else trying to make money off my blogs without my
prior written permission.
============================================================

I set out to write some articles on this blog so that I can purge out
all the negativity from my soul .
well,three articles in the ALL ABOUT MR.GREEN series, and I FEEL DRAINED.
I feel drained emotionally and EVEN MORE TIRED AND SADDER than when i
set out to write the series.
I feel drained because each time I set out to write stuff, I START CRYING.
I also feel stupid that I AM CRYING FOR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED YEARS
AGO, and the person responsible for that experience is THICK SKINNED
enough to not even realize the thankless damage he has done to me.
He has a warped-up,self-serving mode of analysis of things where all
women are crazed idiots out to get him and ofcourse he is the victim!
Neither of us are the victim because both of us voluntarily participated in it.
So,yeah,whatever!
I FEEL DRAINED mainly coz I AM PHYSICALLY CRYING each time I am typing
out stuff and tears have tons of moisture and valuable protein laden
immunoglobulins.
Frequent and repeated crying only make me DEHYDRATED AND I START
HAVING LOW IMMUNITY as a result of the immunoglobulin loss.
So,for now, I am taking a break from typing out that series..
adios!
Tags: #emotional_intelligence,#blogging,#love_and_sadness,#detox,#purging,#draining,#tears_dehydration_and_immunoglobulin_loss,#tears,
#ALL_about_mrgreen,#mr_green

P.S:why is this affecting me so much even years after?
Maybe I have some OCD kinda personality.An OCD style personality might
make me a great reasearcher in science ,where I keep pursuing my
research till I find the results I want to find and thus my OCD STYLE
RESEARCH might make me a great candidate for the NOBEL PRIZE,,but, but
, in emotional issues,sometimes, SOME VERY PAINFUL EXPERIENCES NEED TO
BE COMPLETELY left behind and forgotten and erased..
So,gosh..why can't I MOVE ON!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

THE IRONY OF MR.GREEN'S CONTRASTING WORDS- "All about mr.green"series-Article 2

.

This Blog article is creative property of Dr.A.R aka LecinQblog.This blog article originally was written for and is meant to appear ONLY on any one of the blogs included in this list

http://www.blogger.com/profile/15524952530919224387 .If you find this blog article anywhere other than on BLOGSPOT,please visit my original blog,find my email address and email me with details of where else you read this blog entry.All my blogs are AD-free blogs AND I completely frown upon someone else trying to make money off my blogs without my prior written permission.

============================================================================

This blog entry is part of the "ALL ABOUT MR.GREEN" SERIES.All names have been concealed in an effort to protect my own privacy and and also protect the identity of all other parties that are described in these blog articles.

None of these articles are meant as an effort to win back anyone or reconnect with anyone.None of these articles are meant to invade anyone else's privacy or meddle with their current lifestyle either.

These articles are just my effort to purge out all my bad,sad feelings about this person that still are deep rooted in my soul.These blog articles are just so that i can DETOX myself of so much heartache,feelings of second guessing myself and my judgement,the sadness,hurt,yearning and missing someone -that came with my having interacted with this person.I highly regret that I ever made his acquaintance, coz now I am left with a deep dent in my heart and soul and I feel DAMAGED .

Damage that he can never UN-DO !

==================================================================================================================

THE IRONY OF MR.GREEN'S CONTRASTING WORDS

Mr.green is a man I met online sometime in 2009.I never really meant to get romantically or sexually involved with him when I first sought out to have conversations with him.

My initial intent was just to help him out with his ALCOHOLISM.

What happened during the course of those counseling conversations (which btw were FREE and were had by me as a casual friend and not as a doctor),essentially evolved into something else over time.

So,yeah,had I known back then that this man would damage me, the way he managed to end up doing,I would have never ever talked to him to begin with.This is one bad experience I COULD HAVE DONE WITHOUT in my life.

This blog entry and all other blog entries under the ALL ABOUT MR.GREEN series are just about this interlude that happened during that period.You can browse my archives and search my tag clouds for MR.GREEN and read more about the various facets of the impact this STRANGER has had on my life.

If you take a look at this particular blog entry you will notice that I have attached a picture to it.This picture is a photo-collage of two different screenshots.One of the screenshots is that of an email mr.green wrote me in Feb,2010.Another screenshot is that of a public tweet reply he wrote to someone else,chiefly,discussing me.This tweet was made by him in MAY,2010.

==================================================================================

IN feb,2010,mr.green wrote me an email,Which reads as follows"

QUOTE:

Hi

:(

As much as we fight and hate our actions to each other ,I can never stay mad at you.XO.Thank you.I don't know why but you have changed my life in so many ways.Actually I do know why...

:-(

xoxoxo

I hope you are well and have everything you need in your life.

Take care and every hurtful thing I have said to you , I never really meant it.It's only now I understand the saying " we only hurt the ones we love"

:-( (;_;);;;;;;;;;;;

I ask only one thing.Please don't hate me a lot. A little hate,ok,I can deal with that :-(

MR.GREEN(

name changed to protect privacy)

UNQUOTE

==============================

FAST FORWARD THREE MONTHS DOWN THE LANE

TWEET DATE MAY 19TH,2010.

Mr.green wrote a public tweet reply to some third party person,talking about me.

This is what was written in that tweet.

QUOTE

to @THIRDPARTY(

name changed to protect privacy) Interesting few emails in your inbox.I don't care about HER(her being me!)but I don't want to be made out to be a monster to friends.Just read.

UNQUOTE

==============================

Now,firstly,about the email mr.green wrote to me

This is one of my favorite emails from him to me..If you see the screenshot,you might notice that it is ONE OF HUNDREDS of emails we have exchanged during that timeperiod .There are quite a few of his emails that are my favorite too,But this one stands out,coz this one,he wrote, a month AFTER we completely and mutually decided to stop talking with each other,given the messy situation .

And this was one of the few emails he wrote to me ON HIS OWN,,not as a reply to my email, but just on his own,out of the blue.

I like spontaneous,unconditional letters like that!

So,yeah,when I read those sweet lines he wrote me,I BELIEVED HIS WORDS.I actually felt good.Felt good,that I could CHANGE HIS LIFE,for the good,and also the he missed me just as much as I did him.

Right from the beginning,I knew he was a very flawed character with a lot of issues.Noone becomes an alcoholic for no reason.There are DEEP UNDERLYING UPSETTING REASONS,that causes a person to become an alcoholic,in addition to the ADDICTIVE PROPERTIES OF ALCOHOL,OFCOURSE.

BUT,i chose TO BE his friend inspite of knowing how insecure and flawed he was as a person.So,yeah,when such a person,finally writes you a letter,telling you how much you changed their life,YOU FEEL VALIDATED...as a doctor and as a friend.

Ofcourse,I didn't reply to this email,coz by then,our whole relationship was a confusing little mess.We had crossed that threshold of being doctor-patient and good friends to something more emotional AND laced with romance and sexuality..That was a dangerous ground to tread-given that i was almost a decade younger than him and our lifestyles and principles in life were poles apart.And also because he was already engaged to another woman,whom he was still sleeping with inspite of our deep emotional conversations each day!

So,ofcourse,we had to let each other go,and part ways.

So,ofcourse,I DIDN'T REPLY to that deep emotional letter he wrote.

Maybe,he wrote it as a PARTING LETTER to me too.

Which i didn't realize back then.

So,the fact that I DIDN'T reply,worked out well for him too.

Then,by may,I just had to talk to him.I Was missing him too much.

This whole affair felt like it was INCOMPLETE.

i HAD TO SET IT RIGHT somehow.

So I tried contacting him.

It was weird, that the person who wrote such an emotional letter to me,WOULDN'T REPLY to my emails or tweets in may.

That was really WEIRD.Just months ago,this man was all gushing in an email to me.Now,why won't he talk.Was he angry I didn't reply to his email back then?

And then,suddenly, I see, one of our common twitter friends,REFER to me as a 'STALKER' on my twitter timeline to another of our common twitter friends.Since both these common friends were still on my twitter friend's list,their conversation to each other was automatically visible on my timeline too.

WTF!

And then suddenly i see a MONSTER TRANSFORMATION of mr.green.

THAT IS WHEN ,THE SHIT HIT THE FAN and there was shitty mess all over the place!

Amidst all that twitter drama MR.GREEN wrote one particular tweet,which HURT ME VERY MUCH.

Just as I typed this, I started TEARING UP..I am tearing up in 2013,,about some shitty twitter incident that happened in 2010..wow! Deep denting hurt I suppose!

In that tweet,he clearly mentions something that indicates that HE HAS BEEN PRIVATELY FORWARDING OR CIRCULATING our private email correspondence TO SOME THIRD PARTIES,who clearly HAVE NO focking business to meddle in someone' else's private affair!

I can't blame the third parties,coz,the real person to blame is MR.GREEN.He has no respect for his own love for me..HE HAS NO RESPECT FOR HIS OWN EMOTIONS THAT he once expressed in that february email.HE HAS NO RESPECT for me or my privacy.Which is why, he thought it was okay to share OUR private emails to SOME UNCONCERNED THIRD PARTY.

WHAT AN IRONIC CONTRAST-

one moment he showers xoxo ON ME and then next moment,HE TALKS ABOUT ME,like I am a stranger and clearly states THAT HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME.

WHAT AN IRONIC CONTRAST.

Which one should I believe?

well, the latest words are the most valid.

so,though in feb,he probably cared about me..by may,,a mere three months.HE NOT ONLY STOPPED CARING ABOUT ME,,but also decided that MY PRIVACY IS NOT WORTH GUARDING..

So,my privacy and me ,were all PROMPTLY and thoughtlessly thrown under the bus,IN FULL view of VOYEURISTIC THIRD PARTIES,to watch and savor,which they possibly did and still do , just as an escape from their own shitty meaningless lives.

And here I am in 2013,still REELING UNDER THE SHOCK of it all.The fact that he was so CALLOUS,so disrespectful,with me and my emotions.

I have one question to ask.

WHO EXACTLY IS A FRIEND?

When you thank someone profusely,give them xoxox,shed tears and tell that they changed your life forever,isn't that person COUNTED AS A FRIEND?

When you have 14hr conversations with someone,miss them day in and day out,eagerly beg for them to send you pictures,have sexual,romantic and deep emotional conversations with someone,DOESN'T that person count as a FRIEND?

wHAT MADE mr.green think THAT MY PRIVACY didn't matter when he made shitty tweets about me.My physical and emotional safety didn't matter to him in may 2010,when he threw me under the bus with his extremely DISRESPECTFUL CALLOUS ACTIONS AND WORDS!

What allowed him to give himself the permission to do such shitty things to me?

An unstable mind?

A mind which is TRIGGER HAPPY-MOMETARILY GRATIFIED AND EASILY ALTERED?

It took him only three months to just decide,I was not worth his love or respect?WTF!

More than anything,I FEEL ASHAMED,that this is the person,I ONCE SHARED SUCH DEEP WORDS WITH.I feel ashamed that I DIDN'T have the emotional intelligence to recognize his personality! or maybe I did know of his true personality and yet I was so desperately lonely back then , that inspite of knowing how INADEQUATE HE WAS,i still wanted THOSE MOMENTARY MAKE-BELIEVE LOVE EXCHANGES..maybe I was depserate.who knows!

 

 

 

Tags:mr_green,inside_wants_out,mr_green_series,emotional_i.q,emotions,romance,love,love_on_the_internet,Age_inappropriate_love_relationships,love_and_relationships,tears,Heartache,waste_of_time,overanalysis,sadness,stupidity,drama_queen,trigger_happy,knee_jerk_reactions,letters,tweets,social_media,love_in_the_time_of_internet,

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

A SUM TOTAL OF TEARS-I failed in my judgement!


This Blog article is creative property of Dr.A.R aka LecinQblog.This blog article originally was written for and is meant to appear on any one of the blogs in this list
http://www.blogger.com/profile/15524952530919224387 .If you find this blog article anywhere other than on BLOGSPOT,please visit my original blog,find my email address and email me with details of where else you read this blog entry.All my blogs are AD-free blogs AND I completely frown upon someone else trying to make money off my blogs without my prior written permission.

===================================================================================================================
This blog entry is part of the "All about MR.GREEN" SERIES.All names have been concealed in an effort to protect my own privacy and and also protect the identity of all other parties that are described in these blog articles.
None of these articles are meant as an effort to win back anyone or reconnect with anyone.None of these articles are meant to invade anyone else's privacy or meddle with their current lifestyle either.
These articles are just my effort to purge out all my bad,sad feelings about this person that still are deep rooted in my soul.These blog articles are just so that i can DETOX myself of so much heartache,feelings of second guessing myself and my judgement,the sadness,hurt,yearning and missing someone -that came with my having interacted with this person.I highly regret that I ever made his acquaintance, coz now I am left with a deep dent in my heart and soul and I feel DAMAGED .
Damage that he can never UN-DO !
===================================================================================================================
ARTICLE 1-"All about MR.GREEN"SERIES
In feb,2010,Mr.green wrote me a very endearing emotional email.Probably, his only email that he ever wrote to me which was not a reply to an email I wrote him.We had stopped emailing for almost a month by then.And,out of the blue I received this email,full of heartfelt words from him.
I read it and cried.Then,I decided that given the whole situation,I need to just NOT reply.So,I exercised MUCH RESTRAINT on my desires AND didn't reply to the email.
But,as days went by,I just kept thinking about him more and more and more..And by may ,of 2010,I really had to talk to him.
So,I wrote him an email.He never replied.Given that he wrote such an emotional email just months ago,I was so sure,he would write a gushing reply email once he got my email.So,the fact that he never replied surprised me,COMPLETELY.
So,I thought to myself,"maybe,he didn't get my email.maybe,I must tweet him".
I did tweet him and surprisingly,I got a very lukewarm reply ,which surprised me even more.
What happened next is what you would PROVERBIALLY call ,"When the shit hit the fan"!
All this happened in 2010,and now in 2013,as I sit down to type out a blog entry about those incidents,the minute DETAILS seem to have already faded in my brain.I am trying really hard to recall the exact sequence of incidents, and I utterly fail.This surprises me too.
What now remains is A SUM TOTAL OF TEARS each time i recall what happened back then.The residual feeling of this whole experience has been,"years of heartache" for me.
I am pretty sure,given how mr.green has behaved since after his feb 2010 email,it is pretty evident he doesn't care one way or another.
I have failed in making an accurate understanding of who he really is or was and what he really wanted or didn't want. I FAILED in my judgement .
Tags:#mr_green,inside_wants_out,#mr_green_series,#emotional_i.q,#emotions,#romance,#love#love_on_the_internet#,Age_inappropriate_love_relationships,#love_and_relationships,#tears,#Heartache,#waste_of_time,#overanalysis,#sadness,#stupidity,#drama_queen
 

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