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Sunday, September 21, 2014

MR.c'S stories about his dad-when ex boyfriends make you proud for having desired them once

You know how,when you look up old boyfriends or old crushes and then,
you are relieved that you never ended up with them coz they turn out
to be such damaged goods later in life?

and sometimes, YOU GET ASHAMED when you look up old boyfriends coz you
start wondering, "what was i thinking!!>why did i like this fucktard
so so much back then?? he is a jackass, what was i thinking!!how did i
ever like this guy back then?"

and sometimes, you look up old crushes and look at how fantastic they
are and FEEL PROUD that you had it in you to know how to choose a
good man...

and surely, MR.C is one of these type of men.


I ALWAYS LIKE IT when one of my old crushes time and again proves to
me WHAT IT WAS IN THEM that made me like them so much..
HELPS ME VALIDATE MY OWN EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE WHEN IT COMES TO
SEXUAL CHOICES I MAKE.

I remember writing a blog entry way back in 2006 about mr.c, ABOUT how
attracted i was to his personality, his face, his body, everything.
I FOUND HIM A TOTAL PACKAGE.AND everytime i feel a lot something or
someone, I BLOG IT OUT.

BACK THEN, my blog readers found it amusing that i took the time to
WRITE SUCH AN ELABORATE BLOG ENTRY SAYING HOW MUCH I LIKED MR.C.

years later, i stopped keeping track of him and then in 2012, i
looked him up again and was kinda disappointed to know that he has
finally settled down with this woman.

what disappointed me? his choice of woman
-I felt he deserved better, i felt he settled for less.surely, he
could have done better.

sadly, i see so many intelligent men SETTLE for less when it comes to
chosing a wife/gf.

Maybe men are conditioned to think that all women are going to be the
same old stupid and the best bet they have at making a better choice
is by finding a PRETTY WOMAN.

i don't know,
beats me as to why so many intelligent men end up with stupid wives!

yet another "feminine" woman, the kind of "fake femininity" that is
DRILLED INTO THE MINDS OF WOMEN, to conform to , to PROVE THEIR
FEMININITY..

he got engaged to her coz he got her pregnant?? i don't know, THAT
WHOLE STORY DISAPPOINTED ME and i was like, "another one bites the
dust"

and

I WROTE YET ANOTHER BLOG ENTRY IN 2012, ABOUT MR.C,about how
disappointed i was in how and whom he finally ended up with..

I wrote that blog just to get it out of my system.

and then,I automatically kinda erased him out of my head with that blog entry.


Very recently however, i happened to listen to mr.c talk about his
childhood and ofcourse, he is now MARRIED to his baby momma and
settling down and all..

I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE AND JUDGE HIM ON HIS MARRIAGE AND SUCH.

but, this story from his childhood that he shared atleast MADE ME FEEL
LESS ASHAMED ABOUT MYSELF FOR HAVING BEEN SO ATTRACTED TO HIM AT ONE
POINT..

A MOMENT where one of my exboyfriends makes me feel proud THAT I DO
LIKE QUALITY MEN..

so, mr.c, told this story about how his major influences were his
grandmother and mother..males with female mentors and female role
models always end up QUITE BALANCED.

men who are believers of the feminine power or have witnessed it first
hand during their childhoods tend to be actually inspired by them as
role models and that TOTALLY APPEAL TO ME...as a powerful smart young
woman looking for young men WHO INFACT REALLY KNOW WHAT A STRONG SMART
WOMAN IS ALL ABOUT , AND KNOW FIRST HAND HOW TO INTERACT WITH
THEM...without giving them a headache each day..

ONE MAJOR REASON BACK THEN WHY I FOUND MR.C very attractive was coz HE
WAS SO BALANCED...the right balance in everything
THE RIGHT BALANCE of confidence and yet the humble attitude to have an
open mind to keep learning forever.
THE RIGHT BALANCE to know that he looked good and yet to know that
good looks are not everything
the right balance between having the smartness to finish top honors in
college and yet knowing when to listen to his heart and take an about
turn to embark in a completely different field of work..
MR.C IS ALL ABOUT BALANCE.very balanced dude..such men calm me down
and allow me to relax..coz, i can trust them with things that i
usually burden myself to complete ..

so yeah, coming back to the childhood story mr.c told

he proceeded to tell this story about a conversation his father had
with him when he was a teenager,
father" " boy do you like beautiful women?"
and he recalls being half baffled by that question
and then proceeding to answer, "yes"
and his dad apparently told him, "if you want to GET a pretty wife,
you must become rich" and

i can clearly see the SHOCK and disdain on mr.c's face while he is
recalling that moment, where he realizes that not only is his dad
COMMODIFYING WOMEN as SOME SHINY trophy OBJECT THAT CAN BE PURCHASABLE
WITH MONEY


but i can see how INNATELY, mr.c, disagrees with this chauvinistic
mindset where a woman is just a mere commodity and trophy
and what all men can expect in a wife is a shiny object to fuck
and where relationships are nothing but a nightly fuck with a shiny
trophy object
and due to the limited expectation from such marriages,
men often SEE NO EMOTIONAL REWARD from marriage and seek it elsewhere
in their wingman company
and just have the wife for mindless fucks
and because marriage is just is only a mindless fuck and a safety net,
NO EMOTIONAL AND INTELLECTUAL COMPATIBILITY IS REQUIRED BETWEEN MAN
AND WIFE ANYMORE
AND once that need is removed, women often end up being picked solely
on their appearance.
and once women start getting picked that way based solely on how
pretty they look
WOMEN LEARN TO TURN OFF THEIR EMOTIONAL AND INTELLECTUAL DESIRES TOO
AND START PICKING MEN WHO CAN THEN create a COMFORTABLE LIFE FOR THEM
AND THAT MEANs, "rich men" with whom they have nothing in common and
sometimes not even sexual attraction...


and so, NOT ONLY WAS MR.C's dad a chauvinistic emotionally dead man
with no REAL UNDERSTANDING OF A FULFILLING FUNCTIONAL MARITAL OR
ROMANTIC RELATIONSIP, he was also teaching the next generation of
boys, HIS OWN SON, how to commodify and objectify women..

AND FUNNILY, from the very tone in which mr.C described this story, I
CAN RECOGNIZE, how much he disagreed to that whole concept of seeking
INCOMPLETE EMOTIONALLY DYSFUCTIONAL SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN MAN
AND WOMAN
AND

at that moment, his own current marriage, withstanding,
I FEEL A MOMENT OF PRIDE in him,THAT AT ONE POINT, I WANTED TO DATE
MR.C.with my whole heart...

he made me proud for the fact that i once desired this man.
this man, WHO IS EMOTIONALLY IN TOUCH WITH HIMSELF..
hugs!

TO THIS DAY, OUT OF ALL THE MEN I HAVE DESIRED ...mr.c IS ON THE TOP
TWO LIST of BALANCED MEN...who calm me down and make me trust
them..HUGS..

Tags: #emotional_intelligence, #mr_C,
#chauvinsitic_expectations_from_a_marriage, #Trophy_wife,
#commodification_of_women,#pride, #ex_boyfriends,#sex,#sexuality

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Paranoid about the unknown-a good or a bad thing

paranoid about something unknown?
it could just be a manifestation of your inner fears compounded by your inner insecurities.
inner fears laced with bad past experiences.
much like, ONCE BITTER TWICE SHY.

sometimes i meet NEW PEOPLE.I like them and then i start talking to them and they haven't yet had a chance to know me at all.
and yet some of their reactions to me are weird and then i spend hours trying to figure out what i said or did that caused them to react so strangely..almost as if they already knew me and what they already knew for sure was something they disapproved of

and trust me, THE MORE PEOPLE KNOW ME , THE MORE THEY LIKE ME.it doesn't happen the other way round..

that is when i realized that when you meet STRANGERS and they give you strange funny reactions, it has got more to do with THEIR OWN PAST independant of you and your personality..

ONE BIG LESSON LEARNED AT THE AGE OF 35 NOW IS that when you have done nothing wrong to someone and yet they behave is a weird fashion with you almost as if you did something to them, it has mostly got to do with them.THEIR OWN LIFE, THEIR OWN PAST EXPERIENCES, THEIR OWN PERSONALITY AND THEMSELVES AND NOT YOU...

point in question?
people online almost PROJECT THEIR OWN FEARS onto every anyonymous blog or anonymous twitter account they see.

I already have stalker problems for years now due to VARIOUS GROUPS OF PEOPLE FROM VARIOUS SITUATIONS independantly stalking me or judging me or FUNNILY INTERPRETE MY BLOG ENTRIES IN A TWISTED MANNER because they assume that anyone anonymous MUST BE someone they have had a recent fight with...

STRANGE THAT...
i have never personally had arguments or fights with anyone in THIS WHOLE WIDE WORLD EVER...except mr.green
AND HE IS A JACKASS-AN ALMOST FIFTY YEAR OLD JACKASS....who himself knows that he was the liar and what he did to me was really really really really unforgivable..
he knows that.we discussed stuff after our great fight in 2011 and we went our own ways...END OF STORY..

BESIDES HIM, i have NEVER HAD FIGHTS WITH ANYONE EVER..
so, it beats me as to why SO MANY PEOPLE JUST LATCH ON TO ANY ANONYMOUS BLOG THEY FIND AND ASSUME IT IS SOMEONE THEY KNOW...
GOSH!
too much baggage and too much paranoia...and hundred percent of these people I DON'T KNOW, I HAVE NEVER INTERACTED WITH THEM OFFLINE OR ONLINE..

i do only three things on the net-blog on blogspot, tweet on twitter and email for work or blogs...
and that is about it...

i have friends who use facebook or instagram or tumblr and coz of my friends , i go there to see their photos when they tweet about them..

and I DEFINITELY DON'T HAVE A YOUTUBE ACCOUNT...duh..i am private enough NOT to want to post pictures on the net..how on earth am i going to post videos?
mainly got to do with safety issues, coz , as a doctor , I SEE atleast fifty or more patients a day..
I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHO MY PATIENTS ARE GOING TO BE EACH DAY AND i don't have time to look up to see if my patients are internet bullies or internet stalkers..
and the only thing i have under my control is TO NOT POST PRIVATE INFO OR PRIVATE PHOTOS OF MYSELF.
mostly, coz, i don't want crazy stalkers appearing at my doorstep or at my hospital wanting me to treat them....
so, JUST COZ I HAVE AN ANONYMOUS BLOG doesn't mean everyone can take the liberty to just ASSUME that i am someone whom they just had a fight with..

there are billions of people on this earth and so many of us DO HAVE ANONYMOUS BLOGS OR TWITTER IDS...that doesn't mean that WE ARE SOMEONE YOU KNOW OR SOMEONE YOU FOUGHT WITH...

on a basic level every human talks the same and feels the same and it might also happen that in your mental anguished distorted delusional state, anything i say or discuss might look like a topic the person who you think i am might discuss.
BUT TRUST ME, i am not anyone you know...
GEEZUS..the paranoid delusional mania and reactionary behavior thereof..
THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME atleast four time in the 17 years i have been blogging...
GET OVER IT ALREADY....I AM NOT ANYONE YOU KNOW...
geezus...crazy folks..and their crazy delusions...

Sunday, August 24, 2014

When your spouse EMOTIONALLY WITHDRAWS FROM you-chore burden in a domestic scenario

I am going to start off with stating the fact that i am a board certified physician and thus an QUALIFIED to write a blog entry on medicine or psychology unlike so many unequipped uneducated bloggers who are reading random articles on the internet and then trying to make their own inaccurate psychiatric diagnosis about themselves or those around them.

What brought me to make this article now in 2014 is a recent event.

I watched a video -a vlog as in a video journal log of this VERY VERY TALENTED WOMAN, that i once used to follow on the net.seven years ago she was single and I WON'T REVEAL MORE DETAILS ABOUT HER, but i definitely think she is VERY VERY TALENTED..supertalented..

and just as often as it happens on the net, we sometimes get busy with life and stop keeping track of our fellow internetizens.AND THEN, years later, you want to check on them to find out whatsoever happened to them.

on one such day of the "checking out people from the past" itch, I CHECKED THIS WOMAN OUT, and was surprised to find out that in these seven years, not only has she gotten married, she now has three kids..

and THERE WAS A CHANGE IN HER PERSONALITY.

IN HER VLOGS, she constantly talks about how her husband made this and that and set her kitchen up and other such..

felt very odd, this kinda "husband banter" is what i would expect a sheltered, finanacially dependant housewife who needs a "handman husband" around her house to do things for her to talk or say..

THIS WOMAN? very talented, she could do everything on her ...from what i remembered of her from seven years ago...

BUT NOW, i was almost disappointed at how she talked ...i perceived a loss of personality..a loss of spunk..

ANYWAYS...

coming straight to the ACTUAL POINT OF THIS BLOG...where i plan to talk about domestic chores and how all of that responsiblity is dumped on the FEMALE SPOUSE of the household....

SO, here was this extremely supertalented woman who now was married and had three kids, WHO WAS CONSTANTLY TALKING ABOUT what she makes for dinner for her family..

she kept talking about how SHE plans the meals for her family AND IT WAS ALWAYS, "i have to plan tommorow's meal" or " i cooked this for my kids today"

and i am like,

HOW COME HER HUSBAND DOESN'T FIGURE IN THE MEAL MAKING PLANS AND HOW COME he is not involved equally in cooking dinner for her kids,,THEIR KIDS...wtf!@

i MEAN, she is a working woman, SHE MAKES MONEY OUTSIDE OF THE HOME, she is NOT FREELOADING on her husband like most financially dependant housewives do...

SO, when she is sharing the MONEY EARNING DUTY WITH HER HUSBAND, isn't her husband also expected to now SHARE the chore doing duty at home?

GENDER EQUALITY IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT..

so, TWO THOUSAND ODD YEARS AGO, women were stripped off their equal rights...trust me, HUMANS LIVED for 750 thousand years and we as an animal species were able to do so mainly coz, both women and men had equal access to food and other power rights in their tiny communities

and 2000 years ago, a bunch of jackasses created this idea of LAND OWNERSHIP and then, they PROHIBITED WOMEN from owning land and then, created a POWERLESS CLAN OF WOMEN,who had no access to the resources of the community unless they provided sexual services to a male member of society.

further more ,in these two thousand years, women also were actively prevented from getting education..SKILLS WERE DELIBERATELY passed on only to sons.

So girl children would grow up being DISCRIMINATED AGAINST IN A SENSE OF DESPONDENCY, to a point of adulthood wherein they are desperate to quicly sexually associate themselves with a male member of society coz they have no education and no prospect of jobs in a chauvinistic discriminatory society and no hope for food or security for the future as they were prohibited from land ownership too.

WHY I AM GIVING YOU THIS HISTORICAL BACKGROUND IS to let you better understand how the DUTY OF DOING ALL THE FAMILIAL CHORES FELL ON THE WOMAN'S HEAD ..

coz by the time adulthood SHE IS FINANCIALLY DESPERATE..AND when being with a man, IT IS INDIRECTLY IMPLIED that she earns her food in the family by doing EVERYONE'S CHORES ...

ideally?

IF A GUY GETS HUNGRY, he must be able to get up, chop his veggies, cook his rice, make his sides and eat his meal and clean his dishes too..

THAT IS HOW NORMAL NATURE'S LAWS WORK...you work, you reap results..

HOWEVER,in a chuavinistic society , a man just askes his wife to cook his meal and he just eats, she does the prep, she cooks and she cleans after him...

EVEN IF SHE IS A GENIUS IN PHYSICS, all she is reduced to do is CLEAN THE BABY'S BUTT, AND CLEAN HER HUSBAND'S LAUNDRY..

a waste of human resource and truly a concept of SOCIETY APPROVED ABUSE.

gosh, WHY DO I MAKE MY BLOG ENTRIES ALWAYS SO LONG..

i planned to make a small ,crisp, to the point blog entry but this blog entry just is writing itself out..(btw, i never edit my blog entries, almost everything i post is a FIRST DRAFT).

SO, yeah.

In such a system of abuse, WOMEN OFTEN TEND TO FEEL RESIGNED TO THEIR FATE AND IN THAT PROCESS develop a DEEP SEATED DEPRESSION ...AS A CONCEPT OF A GENERALIZED GENDER TRAIT..

if you leave, virginia woolf's novel mrs.dalloway or watched the movie adaptation of her work called THE HOURS, you will understand the DEEP DEPRESSION SEEN SPECIFICally in the female members of a chauvinistic society as a rule, NOT BECAUSE it is a genetic trait,but a trait that has developed as a COPING MECHANISM to deal with a generally pervasive social system .WHICH ACTIVELY AND RIGHTFULLY DISCRIMINATES against women at the familial and societal level.

so, yeah, coming back to the woman i talked about at the beginning of this blog entry..MARRIAAGE HAS CHANGED HER..it has mellowed her happy spirit and that hurts me to watch.

as a VERY SMART, VERY MULTITALENTED FEMALE PHYSICIAN MYSELF, this upsets me...

and in this same context , sometime in 2009, I HAD INTENDED TO WRITE A SIMILAR BLOG ENTRY ON THE SAME SUBJECT with a relevant story from another couple...and ofcourse, MUST LIKE SO MANY OF MY PENDING BLOG ENTRIES, i didn't write and post it back then.

I SHALL INCLUDE THAT STORY AS WELL, RIGHT HERE...coz it suits the context

in 2009, on TV, i watched a documentary series that dealt with varied social topics and on one such episode, they did talk about CHORE SHARING AT HOME and

as part of the documentary, THEY INTERVIEWED THIS YOUNG MALE, who told this VERY INSIGHTFUL INTERESTING STORY FROM HIS OWN LIFE.

he told that when he and his female sexual partner first started living together, he AUTOMATICALLY assumed that she was the one who was supposed to do the dishes and other chores coz all boys are brought up in families where the woman ends up doing the chores of everyone else too.

AND he says that they had dated for years before they finally moved in together.

and within a month of their moving in, HE REALIZED SOMETHING.

HE REALIZED THAT SHE EMOTIONALLY WITHDREW.

and when he realized that.HE TRIED TO FIND OUT AND ANALYZE WHAT HE MIGHT HAVE DONE IN ORDER FOR HER TO EMOTIONALLY WITHDRAW THAT WAY, when infact , for the many years that they dated though they never lived together, HE HAD EXPERIENCE IMMENSE EMOTIONAL CLOSENESS WITH HER...

he realized that the emotional withdrawal started possibly because she felt RESENTFUL AND BETRAYED that she did the dishes each night and she did all the chores.

THIS YOUNG MAN THEN HAD THE emotional intelligence TO REPAIR THIS crack in his previously wonderful relationship.

HE OFFERED TO SHARE ALL THE CHORES WITH HER and soon he realized that she was back to the emotionally available state she used to be with him during their dating period..

yes, SMALL THINGS you do , CAN HURT YOUR SPOUSE OR HEAL YOUR SPOUSE AND MEND OR BREAK RELATIONSHIPS.

I always say this to everyone,

if you want to eat, learn to cook

if you want clean dishes, CLEAN THEM YOURSELF.

if you want your house clean, clean it YOURSELF.

if you know how to poop, YOU NEED TO KNOW HOW TO CLEAN YOUR OWN TOILET.

if you wear clothes, YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO DO YOUR OWN LAUNDRY.

this adage holds good for anyone over the age of 11, irrespective of what your gender or social standing is..

i don't care if you are rich or poor or a man or a woman..PLEASE DO YOUR OWN CHORES, don't be shameless and make someone else do all your drudgery chores..IT IS ABUSE..

Tags: #gender_equality, #gender_discrimination, #chore_distribution_in_a_family, #why_are_women_forced_to_do_all_chores_in_a_familial_unit

Sunday, April 6, 2014

a stress trigger and an emotional trigger

and that day when i decided that i don't want to talk to you anymore ?
that old neighbor lady of mine,
that crazy abusive lady with her shrill voice
and her kleptomaniac gossipy ways,
she came visiting our building
and talked to the neighbors
and her voice i could hear from inside my apartment
as she talked to the neighbors upstairs
and a few hours after that,
I quickly emailed you ...a
nd broke my resolve to never email you again..
THAT DAY IN FEBRUARY, it was a stress trigger that caused me to email you

seven years ago,
that day when i saw that thin wiry green eyed kind kid help me without
me asking for it
and that one second where our eyes met just before i got into the elevator
and i saw that he had GREEN EYES just like yours,it was a flash of
missing you and of being reminded of you.
i got out of the elevator,
got into the apartment and quickly emailed you that day
and we hadn't spoken in almost a year by then.
that day when i emailed you like that after seeing that green eyed boy?
THAT was because of AN EMOTIONAL TRIGGER.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

How psychiatry demeans and devalues the importance and value of a sense of "grandiosity" in society and it's members

I AM A BOARD CERTIFIED MEDICAL DOCTOR
and i have read enough psychiatry textbooks while in med school..
This is definitely an INFORMED piece of writing.(bows to crowd)

GRANDIOSITY

AS a medical doctor, when i read PSYCHIATRY JOURNALS, where "patients"
are referred to as having "problems" with GRANDIOSITY...

all i am thinking is,

WHEN shahjahan thought of building the TAJMAHAL, ofcourse he was being grandiose
When sushrutha ATTEMPTED craniotomy CENTURIES BEFORE christianity and
its chauvinistic unscientific ways existed and hippocrates, OFCOURSE
HE WAS BEING GRANDIOSE

when MANYA SKLAWOSKA(MARIE CURIE) was boiling pitchblend TRYING TO
discover material that can SEE THE INSIDES OF THE BODY, ofcourse she
was BEING GRANDIOSE...

AS A HUMANITY, if we need to move forward,WE NEED TO BE GRANDIOSE...

pyschiatry for some reason CELEBRATES CLONE LIKE "NORMAL" BEHAVIOR...

normal behavior has never got us anything.

if leonardo da vinci and gandhi and einstein and newton and ramanujam
ALL had decided not to be GRANDIOSE with their endeavours, WE WOULD
ALL STILL BE sitting in the dark ages.

HUMANITY REQUIRES GRANDIOSITY, inspite of what psychiatry textbooks insist.

I CHOOSE TO BE GRANDIOSE AND I HAVE A GRANDIOSE PLAN FOR MY LIFE AND
FOR HUMANITY.

i might look like a fool with delusional ideas right now, coz the rest
of the "normal" clones DON'T KNOW SHIT...

my original thoughts are important to me.

AND I WILL PAY ATTENTION TO THEM AND HONOR THEM

and try to make sense of those ideas ,

even if psychiatric textbooks tell me i am being grandiose..

SO YEAH...there ya go!

Tags: #psychiatry #grandiosity #delusional #maniac #pschotic #normal
#shahjahan #plato #galileo #manya_sklowoska #gandhi #ramanujam
#marie_curie #greatness #normal #clones #psychology #originality

Does being a "woman" automatically translate into being viewed as "desperate" in chauvinistic societies?

This is not a VERY ELABORATE psychology article like i usually write.
this is JUST SOMETHING i jotted down in a journal of mine and
FIGURED, i must share it with all readers here on this antidote to
anger blog...

I might deal with this whole sociology topic in a more elaborate blog
at a later point of time, k?
for now, just this tiny titbit

here goes>>>

MY QUESTION is,
why has society trained the psyche of so many of it's male members to
think that they are good enough for the woman they think they are good
enough for?

coz,somehow,the fact that someone is a woman, is automatically
percieved as a desperate situation where they must make do with men
who are actually not good enough for them ?

and why does society create situations where women are made to feel
desperate or percieved as desperate?

I am a 35 year old female physician and i know for a fact that ,
BIOLOGICALLY SPEAKING,women are superior .
They have more chromosomal material in each cell than a man,
they have more biological functions and capabilities than men too

..it is only that funny that societal rules of "gender discriminatory
laws of property ownership" and "selective gender discriminatory
opportunity deprivation" have made women into desperate beings.

this is all SCHEMATIC ABUSE.
this is unatural and against the order of nature and
this is PURELY CIRCUMSTANCIAL,
this "automatic desperation" of women,dictated by chauvinistic societies

tags: #sociology #gender_studies
#how_land_and_property_ownership_laws_might_have_created_gender_inequality_in_the_past,
#gender_equality #are-women_desperate #girl_power
#biologically_superior #women's_issues #chauvinism #feminism
#sociology #power_inequal_marriages

The "retiring into conch shell" syndrome to survive and continue in dysfunctional relationships

I am going to use my own story and my relationship with mr.black(my
med school boyfriend back then), to explain this principle of how
people are shell shocked to even react fast in an extremely
UNREWARDING RELATIONSHIP and get out of it fast enough to prevent
themselves from getting damaged.

most people stay long enough and not react by getting out of an
unrewarding relationship and continue in it till it damages them in
some way..


here goes my story.
Just read and understand or apply to your own context if you are
currently in such a similar situation:

story starts>>>>>

AT ONE POINT, quite early in our acquaintance, I REALIZED MR BLACK was
a fraud and a "can of worms"..

AND all i had to do was to stop reeling in shock and just walk away..

for some reason, MY MIND NEVER LET ME FEEL LIKE i could walk away..

FOR SOME REASON, i wanted to stay with him and dwell in misery like
that each day..

ON DAYS,I would look at his face and almost want to SLAP HIM, that is
how much of anger i was bottling up.

IT IS ONLY WHEN YOU ARE UTTERLY DISAPPOINTED WITH THE OTHER PERSON'S
PERSONALITY OR UTTERLY DEJECTED OR UTTERLY SHOCKED IN DISBELIEF AT
WHAT A NASTY MONSTER THEY ARE, that you subconcsiously decide to
retire into your own shell,
the safety of it and
SHUT OUT ALL THE NOISE
and then continue days on and on with this person you utterly hate..

FUNNILY, many women or men might stay in such relationships coz there
is some catch...
many housewives stay in such relationships coz they are financially
dependant on such a person,
many men stay with bad women coz they fear that they will lose half
their money if they divorce their wife whom they utterly hate..

so, always, when people know that the person they are with is a
monster and yet they stay on , THERE IS A CATCH..

i had no catch..
HE WASN'T HANDSOME ,
THE SEX SUCKED COZ I HATED HIM AND I HATED HIS EVERY TOUCH AND
funnily,after hating him so much,

sex was the only way i could resolve any conflict i had with him
and conflicts were always present
coz he was such a fraud and there were conflicts everday
and everyday I would try to make it all feel better by having sex a
nd then I HATED MYSELF FOR HAVING SEX WITH HIM ,

AND he had this funny belief that he was SOMEHOW doing me some favor
and making me feel better by giving me sex..

anyways, where i was , YEAH, there was no catch..

HE GAVE ME NOTHING ..and yet for some reason, I WAS AFRAID TO WALK OUT...

no one stays like that in relationships which don't give them anything..

there was nothing stopping me from leaving either, no threat of any
physical danger much like some women or men for that matter
face...they fear that this women or man they are leaving might harm
them later..

he would have pretty much left me alone had i walked out of that relationship.

SO,WHY DID I SAY AND LINGER IN THAT FILTH till fnally I LOST MYSELF
AND AFTER SIX YEARS,I LOST MY MARBLES TOO...

hmmmm
that is what ROBIN NORWOOD explains in her book called WOMEN WHO LOVE
TOO MUCH...

which is why,I STILL HAVEN'T READ THAT "RECOVERY PLAN" SHE SUGGESTS,
coz first off, i want to test water my behavior with men AFTER HAVING
READ ALL other CHAPTERS she wrote in that book ,citing case examples
of women and men in dysfunctioanl relationships and but yet not
having read the recovery plan.

AND THEN, after test the waters a bit, I will come back, read the case
histories again and then , finally when i know i am prepared to CROSS
THAT THRESHhOLD, i will read the "recovery plan" chapters...

i have to ,, have to.

Tags: #disconnected_behavior_in_dysfunctional_relationships , #anger,
#psychology , #psychiatry , #relationships #too_shocked_to_react
#mr_black #mr_green #mr_purple #dysfunctional_relationships #family
#escapism #daydreaming_to_escape_pain #pain

Friday, February 7, 2014

Expletives explained! -C#nt

I always used to think that the expletive CUNT meant just >>>:: a very
manipulative deceptive person" till someone twitter ,pointed out to me
that
Historically,
the word " cunt "
initially meant only VAGINA
and then slowly it became synonymous with a "deceptive manipulative person"
and yet,still,cunt also continues to be used to mean vagina as well!!!

...gasp!

What does that say about the gender_dynamics and gender_sensitization
in english speaking chauvinistic cultures?

#gender_dynamics, #vagina , #expletives_that_are_OFFENSIVE_to_women ,
#female_defamatory_expletives, #expletives

Please note that this article is a double post.it is being posted both on my
ANTIDOTE TO ANGER BLOG
LECINQBLOG.BLOGSPOT.COM
simultaneously,for the benefit of both readers!

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