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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Why do i make so many Anti-porn tweets on Twitter?

Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.

 We as humans must make life-choices where our
lifestyle must not have been responsible for abuse or discomfort to
someone else-directly or indirectly..that is why I yap so much on
twitter about porn .Many men don't even think twice because they are
so caught up in their basal needs that they forget that these are
young girls.. children..(i think I am going to cry..so I shall stop
here)
Would you marry or date a woman who is on a porn site?No? why?
Coz of the social stigma? well, the porn customers are the ones who are the CAUSE of the social stigma..you are paying for this business to survive.So, you are creating the social stigma.
Have you ever personally checked if the woman on the porn site is of legal age-have you checked their birthcertificate?
Have you personally gone and verified their life style? Have you talked to each of those women to see if they were sold into brothels?
Have you personally verified if these women are being underpaid/injected with drugs before each show/ or scared and intimidate?Have you?
NO? I thought so..
which is why i cry for these girls..they have nobody...everyone abuses their bodies  and their poverty~

The concept of "People shopping" while you are still in an old relationship

Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.

I am a 30 year old qualified physician and hence am equipped to write relationship advice. Please email me if you have questions of your own that you want me to write another blog entry about.k?My email is on my profile page.

If something doesn't work out..don't wait till someone better comes along
If a relationship doesn't work for you or you feel  the need to interact with someone else for emotional purposes, then just break up with whoever you are with and are having routine convenient sex with.
YES, you might end up alone, high and dry without all the convenient sex and all, but atleast you are not living in a fake relationship.

I see a lot of people who just continue to say yes to a very semi compatible relationship --just for temporary purposes coz it is so comfortable and  convenient to have someone you can have regular sex with or go out with on weekends. They do that coz they are afraid to be alone. They make such half ass choices out of greed and out of fear of loneliness
Honestly? You should be so much at peace with yourself that you should not be afraid to be lonely.

Also, quickly dropping a current partner, once you come across someone new who seems more compatible is unethical.. ya know.. coz it like you used your old partner till as long as you needed them. and then you drop them.. coz you found something better..Had you dropped them just coz you were not compatible, on your own, without a luring carrot dangling from the stick, that is a whole other story..But if you did that coz you found something better to pursue , it is like use and throw of the old partner

Yes, when you find yourself in a situation where while still in a relationship you start finding someone new much more compatible,
you MUST  break up with your old person.
NOT so that you can rush into the arms of the new person.
BUT, because the old relationship obviously was not right for you.


After you break up with the old person..
a/Wait..
b/Be alone.
c/See how you feel without the old person but without the new person either to immediately pacify you.
coz..you never know..had you not met the new person, you might possibly would have continued to be with this old person..

d/If there were no new person to pacify you.. that is the real test to see ,,how courageous and true to your emotions you are..

e/And yes,, if you feel the need to go back to this old person once you find out that the new person won't quickly run to you and pacify you,,,that is when you know that you are just  a person who is afraid to be alone and will be with anyone who stays with you.

F/what then? Pause, take a deep breath..think, write down stuff. analyze then 

hmmmm..SELF DISCOVERY ensues!

About drawing a circle for someone to grow into, Jason's blogs and anger antidotes

Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.


Jason's blogs work as an antidote to my anger..coz, even without me asking , he will come out with a specific blog entry that is full of advice to tailor made for the situation i am in and then his advice is so wholesome and so inspiring..I totally become like this daughter saying "yes papa" to all the advice he doles out...

Recently he wrote this blog entry http://freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com/2009/12/sundays-surf-report-from-snowy-banks-of.html

In this entry ofcourse he talks about how he self doubts himself each time he hasn't surfed for long .He wonders if his core is still strong enough, will he be able to play with the waves like before and then really, the doubts are all put to rest once he gets there to the green sea..
As he talks on ..I read these particular set of paragraphs that touched very much.. and again, The advice in there looked almost like it was tailor made for me..
Yet again..I left a long comment for him on there and as is customary, i share it here for my own readers to know what i am upto on the comments sections of the people i love and cherish..LOL

please note that whatever is in green is what jason said and whatever i responded is in red..k?
Here goes
*******************
LECINQBLOG said...
Heya jase, I left a tweet for you on twitter.check it will ya if you haven't looked already Again, you say the most touching things on your blog and then my mind reacts to your ideas, and i start saying more profound things on the comments section and it is all very interactive..Thanks for the exchange of energies this way. You said and I quote

"It is important for me - for you - to have this insight. That is, to know you are sourced. The minute we were conceived we became receivers and transmitters. We are connected to this world, this fantastic universe, and to each other. Our thoughts, speech, beliefs, actions and attitudes are our tools to use to create the ideal life experience inside and out..... If Awesome is what your aiming for, Awesome you will be."UNQUOTE
My response:
This is exactly what i keep telling everyone..I have an ad free blog .Yeah and everyone is like, "you should totally put ads and make money for all the beautiful things you put out there"
But all i say is , To me, ideas and views are important.I put those ideas out there for other people to see a different point of view, think about them, adapt them if they understand my view and then write back to me.. give back to me in ideas and love.That is the pay back I am looking for ..Ideas do matter. They make a difference.I scream and scream at my blog and twitter,just so that atleast one person each day finds their life changed because of my positive ideas.That is all that matters.
**************** Again, you said and I quote: "The same works outwardly for those you love. You can create them as something for them to grow into. You get to draw a circle that represents a way of being and then they get to stand in it and experience being that. FYI: Someone isn’t a particular way already. That’s a limited experience of someone and not a very loving thought. Instead, because everyone has the capacity to be and do big things, you can invent someone as being super fresh, no matter what the past reveals about their persona. Your thoughts have the power to paint someone a beautiful life." unquote MY RESPONSE TO THIS I have to admit jase,After reading this part, i suddenly was reminded of my friend. and then i went and emailed them coz of what you you said here..I tried to create a circle for them to stand inside and grow into.. Thanks jase, thanks for all the profound blogs.. Much appreciated. hugs

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Laughing at someone you are deeply jealous of !

Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.


I think they laugh coz they can't really cry . I think there is a deep
jealousy involved when people laugh..Like these group of girls that
sit and laugh at the prettiest or the smartest girl in class coz they
can't be her.. so they hate her.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

The trophy girlfriend/trophy boyfriend and Insecurity issues !

Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.

Insecure people do this.
This is a behavioral pattern that arises from longstanding insecurity that eventually transforms into a personality disorder.

Sometimes people want to choose the best of the best to have as a boyfriend/girlfriend.It is some kind of pacification technique they adapt to get rid of the many insecurities they have or the many inadequacies that they are aware of that exist in themselves.

They do this primarily not just because they appreciate the  positive qualities that this other person  has but as a way to prove to themselves  that they are obviously worthy enough for such a remarkable  person  to actually choose to be with them.

Sometimes, this method of self-assurance even extends to a point where they feel  this need for all their friends to approve of their girlfriend/boyfriend.So, seeking a mate essentially becomes a vanity exercise.They start choosing people they can show off to other people as in, "Look , look, look at them(him/her)..they are prettty, they are smart.. they are great in every given way and look look, they chose ME...so, obviously, I must be someone very special for them to choose me over everyone else" etc etc..The trophy girlfriend or trophy boyfriend scenario.
(Please note that "They" has been used instead of He or she in order to assume a gender neutral phrase)


Wanting to have a boyfriend or girlfriend who is fantastic in every given way is not a wrong thing at all. But wanting it as a way to improve your own self esteem vicariously is a stupid thing to do. Insecurities are the  burden of a lifetime and they just don't go away just because some fantastic person chooses(or makes the mistake to choose) to be with you. Insecurities are eliminated  only when you examine the real cause of your insecurity  very objectively without being biased and take positive steps to eliminate the mental and psychological cause behind that insecurity.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Only their plan matters


Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.

now you gave me all these diseases

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each time I hit the UNFOLLOW BUTTON


Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The concept of honest 'Self appraisal'.Eliminating Insecurity from your own head!

Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.
------
Regarding my self appraisal..I have noticed that many people are very
uncomfortable if a person is very aware of their own positives,for
eg.. if they think this person is very pretty , they somehow still
want the pretty person to have some kind of complex and have
insecurities..



 They are more comfortable if a very intelligent person
is not good looking.. etc etc..In short, they want everyone to be
unhappy and insecure in some way..



They get angry if someeone  is very
happy with everything they are..Which is why i often mention that i am
..because I am and it is possible to be..it is all in our hands.I also
do it repeatedly because i have a right to feel assured of myself.



I  cannot sit and feel obligated to pretend insecurity so that the
onlookers can feel nice. I am not vain, but i am confident..
Again, I have noticed that people deliberately try to break my
confidence because they just can't take it.



 My advice to such people
is,, well, see, this is my life, these are my thoughts, I am allowed
to feel proud of myself..if my pride bothers you, move on..The fact
that my pride bothers you only indicates that there is some insecurity
in your heart about your own self and You are angry that i have
managed to eliminate such insecurities.


Think about it

Monday, October 26, 2009

Painted nails


Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.
My hands.My hands-I use them to perform surgery-to paint-to sketch-to cook-to knit-My hands they are like my insurance.
Owing to my profession where i need to use my hands to examine patients I don't grow my nails long.My nail beds however are lo
ng and therefore my hands look ok even without growing my nails long.
So,mostly,my nails are neatly clipped.
I see many women grow their nails long and many of them get manicures on a regular basis.Not me,because first off.I think i don't need manicures--I am vain and arrogant about my pretty hands like that...ROLLS EYES.No,,the actualy reason is..I am lazy to give myself a manicure and I don't like the concept of making someone else clean my hand for me..Making someone else do your grooming jobs for you is like having slaves and I totally am against the idea of paying someone to clean my hands and feet and more so , paying someone to do something per
sonal as a bikini wax or body massage.
Infact, i think a body massage is a very sensual thing..There is absolutely no way that i will not react if someone massaged my body..touch is one of the foremost sensual experiences . I have in the past, however,recieve
d amazing massages from my boyfriend(An Ex boyfriend now whom i have chosen to dearly hate..after all, hate is a emotion we choose to have)
So,yeah..needless to say.,in this 30 years of my lifetime.I rarely if ever have gotten a manicure..I just let my hands be.I clean them before and after performing surgery--the powder inside the surgical gloves dries down my cuticles around the nailbed...but yet, luckily,blame it on good genes,somehow my hands have managed to remain presentable..

I also have burned the dorsum of my right hand each time i make cookies because i want to attempt the bravado of picking up the cookie tray without wearing an oven mitten..i am stupidly courageous like that..My right hand now has many little memoir scars from such oven adventures.
Very recently I decided to grow my nails long for a week.Just so that i can paint them and take pictures and revel at my pretty hands forever..After all i am getting older and one day..the oven scars will be too many and the wrinkles will start and i will look back with nothing but a memory of my pretty han
ds which seldom ever get pampered
Here is a picture of my hands..I painted them light lilac. I am holding my bamboo flute--yes.I play the bamboo flute..Not like an expert ..But,I think, I can become an expert if I practiced more often..Much like surgery..The more you practice the faster you get at it ...Hands.. hands are like my insurance in the field of surgery.
Here goes another pic.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Blogging as a way to keep anger under control

Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.
-------------
Heya!
It has been long since i last blogged. and i have noticed that I am calmer once i vent out my daily quota of rambling on my blog. I have noticed that i am filled up with unresolved anger when i don't blog on an everyday basis.
In life there are so many things we cannot control.For eg. we cannot control the circumstances in other people's lives. If they are facing abuse or bad situations they are most likely to inadvertently bring their grumpiness to work or to meetings etc and try to pass it on to you . In such situations though you try to keep a clean lifestyle and weed all negative people from your life you still end up having to deal with negativity from people who you cannot avoid at work and otherwise.
This is where Blogging place a role in venting. When there are things you can't control and change and put a stop to , you use blogging as a way to analyze it and get it out of your system.
Yes, therefore, Blogging can be your ANTIDOTE TO ANGER.
That doesn't necessarily mean that you badmouth about other people irresponsibly on your blog.There is a necessity for self regulation and necessity to stick to the truth while you are blogging. yeah?
I shall try to blog on a more regular basis than i have been doing these past six months(or more?).Till then, blog on ,vent it , blog on.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

The secret of Life,death, DNA and the instinct to live.

Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.

So,yes,I have not been blogging for long long. I have received more questions yet again about, hear this, 
What hormones make you angry?
Why do kids get all sad and angry and hit themselves?
Why do men leave women after they get them pregnant?

And my humble answer is, 
I have actually written answers to these questions already.Only if all of you will have the patience to go read my archives.
Yes,I did promise I will write more about 
Other causes  of Anger ,especially the neurotransmitters associated with different varied emotions. Not just yet, My friends, Sometimes i go on for weeks without blogging.. so, bear with me. I can only blog when i feel like it. If I force myself, the blogs will look all forced. K?

So, coming back to the topic in question,About 
Whether People will be less scared to die if they have no one they are emotionally attached to in this world?

To deal with this question we must first understand ,\\
Why are people scared to die in the first place?
The answer here could be pure Biology and life instincts, on one plane.The second would be a more complex reason of society and societal connections that we develop after we are born that make our lives nice to go about; and therefore , we end up enjoying the ride so much , we don't want to end this  wonderful arrangement of things. 
The third thing could be spiritual , where we feel certain responsibilties that would go imcomplete if you die abruptly.

    Let us elaborate on this shall we?

Not wanting to die is a basic instinct of all living beings!!
When you watch 
'animal planet' , you see that every animal that is being chased by another animal higher in the food chain,  runs for it's life.It tries to save itself.We as humans are much similar to these animals. All of us, just thoughtlessly  will run if we perceive danger to our lives.

                                            Why don't we all stop and think, "What if I die.Why not just die?What is gonna happen if I die?Nothing Really!, so Why not die?" BUT NO ! 

                                   If for one moment we just pause and think, "Why am i running? What is life? Isn't it just an endless cycle of eating,shitting, and then giving birth to the next generation?
                                          Atleast as humans , we do a lil more than just that, we invent things, we go do jobs not directly concerned with just collecting food and thus kinda live our lives in a more elaborate fashion than say the deer which pretty much spend life loving its young(they sure do love their young,see they may not have a 9-5 job but they do love their young!) , mating, giving birth to its young and eating each day and spending a lot of its time in the day/night  trying to find food. yes, yes, we also probably do work just so we can buy food, but then the work we do sometimes is not literally foraging for food.
                                                      Anyways, i just digressed into evolutionary theory there for a moment. Coming back, so yes, the deer per say will also run for its life  just as much as a human does. And to think of it, the deer will try to save their young just we like do.. It is a BASIC INSTINCT. A big game plan by the DNA.
                                            After all, what is life? what is death? 

                                                 DNA, they have a big ploy here.
A certain set of DNA, they produce signals to produce another certain set of proteins to produce a certain organism and all the  substances that the organism needs further during its lifetime, Isn't it? So ultimately, The DNA is doing this and also producing proteins that go act on the mind to produce other substances to invoke the organism to have this basic instinct to save its own life. What does the organism get at the end of its lifetime ,after it dies?Nothing.It won't know a thing after it dies.(Rebirth people, let's talk some other day)Why? Inshort, so that more and more of its kind can then be produced by this alive adult animal?

So, what is the purpose of  including 'Production of progeny'  as a Basic instinct, you might ask?
                                                 Well, that is the trick you see, DNA again, The whole ploy of giving the animal basic instinct to live for a certain number of years is to make sure that that particular DNA is forever safe in the cells of that animal till as long as it lives.
                                               And this other basic instinct of finding sex pleasurable(humans say that other animals don't really have sex for pleasure, but dude, did you ask the animals?) or this desperate need to have sex as a compulsion, is another way to make sure that the DNA is then transfered to the next generation, which then continue to live even after the parent dies thus ensuring that young offsprings serve as this carrier of this DNA til they die too..
                                                           So yes, We are all the strategic carriers of the DNA that we carry.It rules us. It does all this, so that it and it alone can live endlessly...You see that? Ultimately what remains of each species is just the DNA.The animal dies but the DNA remains.


Nothing else can explain this thing as to why we all desperately want to live? what is it? Inexplicable in a lot of ways, if you peel off the initial layers.

Having said all this about BASIC INSTINCTS AND DNA DOMINATION AND WHAT NOT, 
Next question to be addressed is  
We as humans also want to live coz we are enjoying the ride in a way!
                                  Ofcourse, this rule is  applicable only if we are really enjoying the ride, which also explains why some humans might become dissatisfied with their present life circumstance and might attempt suicide. I don't see any other animal actually attempting suicide ever. 
                                Yeah, prolly those animals in zoos who are caged up,they do sometimes attempt suicide because they are so miserable with their life in a confined space --which of course, the  zoo keepers cleverly called FAILURE TO THRIVE. Yes, the pediatricians do also call that about a newborn not doing so well. Not taking feeds and what not..Anways.. so yes, as usual, lemme stop digressing and come back to the topic on hand,
                                               So , many of us, after we are born, start getting positive feedbacks from the environment we live in and thus feel happy and continue to do activities which reward you further with more positive feedback..
                                            Ya know, like, as babies, our parents are all applauding us for starting to walk, starting to get potty trained, doing well at school, applauding us at our first speech and what not.. this reward factor keeps us going and makes us want to keep doing more things which bring in reward, So, yes, WE START ENJOYING THE RIDE OF IT ALL AND WE WANT TO ENJOY IT EVEN MORE.
                                     Much like a mouse gets caught up in the walking wheel in its cage or a person playing video games(after all, it is just a video, nothing is happening for real, yet we do it coz we feel we have achieved something). So, yes, we are all enjoying the ride in a way, thus we want to enjoy it further and thus, we don't want to die.
                  
                           Let us discuss the spiritual reasons behind wanting to live
Again, as we grow up, we have had so much of interaction with the people around us, you know, parents, friends, lovers, inspirational figures, and we kinda give them the motivation and they give us the motivation to live. The word MOTIVATION IS KEY here.We, over our lifetime have developed connections where we motivate each other with positive feedback for day to day living, emotional support to make life livable and what not, so yes, during such a situation, we START SEEING IT AS A MORAL OBLIGATION OF OURS TO NOT LEAVE SOMEONE IN THE LURCH IN THIS MUTUAL CYCLE OF SELF MOTIVATION. we feel guilty, especially when we have young children ,who by their mere age, even more than our spouse or partners actually may not be able to thrive on their own or are DEPENDANTS as we call them. We feel that moral obligation to live it out for them because they are so dependant on you to get their daily positive feedback  so that they can learn and do things and grow up and become self dependant or  sometimes  even basics like money to buy food and such,
                   So often,when i hear my patients tell me about how worried they are about their health coz ofcourse they have lil children to take care of and they see it as their moral obligation to nor orphan their children that way, I completely understand. 
                 Which is also why, a 100 year old man or woman who has had a full life with no regrets, a good satisfactory job, spouse, kids who now have a spouse themselves and now have kids of their own and suddenly you see that you have done your moral duty of providing the positive feedback wherever it was needed for as long as it was needed and you did your job and you are satisfied that you have enjoyed the ride of life to for a loong time too, you are more prepared to die. 
                  Speaking of which I am reminded of Anaclitic depression of Newborn.
                                A condition seen in newborn babies that don't get enough physical contact or emotional contact from either caregiver and ends up very listless, and almost ready to die. This is seen in other primate babies as well and in a starkly similar fashion too. If newborns don't recieve that physical or emotional contact right from birth, they will most likely die.. YOU KNOW, END OF LIFE.. coz ofcourse, baby sees no point to live.
                     So, to answer the question that I asked in the Header of this entry,Suppose, someone is born, and then grows up and at one point of time, is very dissatisfied with parents, with school, with work, no lovers, no emotional contacts, lives in seclusion, no body to show off work to , nothing to account for, no children to look after, no parents to look after or worry about, just plain ALONE! No satisfaction from work either-so, no work motivation either, Then would they still be scared to die? I guess not.. I guess, they would infact find it all so purposeless that they might attempt to end it all, much like maladapted caged zoo animals fresh out of its natural habitat..Hmmm, Suicide.. hmmmm.


Sunday, May 3, 2009

Reader's question.Why do people gossip?

Alright, i actually prolly started off this blog way back last year, with answering this question.
Why do people gossip?
This question and the answer thereof is what made me name this blog is 
AN ANTIDOTE TO ANGER 
Anyways, I am gonna try and answer this question again since ofcourse looks like my readers don't go read my archives. Do feel free to browse my archives before sending in questions , k?I prolly have already answered that question in this blog or in one of my other four blogs which you can reach by looking at the blogroll section to the right of the page.


So yeah, 
WHY DO PEOPLE GOSSIP?
Mostly , people gossip coz they have a lot of free time on their hands and they are so bored out of their minds that they want to while away the time by indulging in some kind of conversation. And what better conversation than a convo about a third person who is not there to defend themselves, yeah? Most people sit and groups and talk about a third person who is not physically present there coz it is easier to gossip about a third person than about each other. Makes the convo quite tolerable without any conflict.
     sometimes people gossip while all they should be doing is their job at work. Ya know, those types that sit there on their work computers twittering away with strangers while they should actually be doing their job during that time. Why do people do that ? well, for one, they truly hate their job and are looking for some kind of distraction from that job that they hate so much. Secondly, prolly they don't know how to do their job, they are underqualified for their job to such an extent that attempting to do it intimidates them and therefore they resort to an immature coping mechanism to deal with job troubles by gossipping. In short, Gossiping can work as a distraction tool from hard to deal with situations. 
     Sometimes gossip can be used a deliberate tool to smear someone else's reputation.So, this kind of gossip is not the idle gossip kind but a well planned meticulously preconstructed convo which the person then pretend to rattle off as if they just are gossiping. A lot of namedropping, defamation etc takes places during the course of such gossips. Such gossips often take place at high profile gatherings, or fashion parties or idle worthless housewife parties etc. 
    Yeah, btw, sometimes extreme jealousy or insecurity can guide people to gossip about this other person whom they cannot fight out ethically or legally. In short, when you very well know that you are no match to this person in any given way, the resentment and insecurity is so intolerable that you see yourself going out of control in the gossip department and using gossip as a way to vent out your own insecurities. 
   In short, gossipping is a very non productive negative response to whatever life crisis you have. Surely, If you are too bored, go get a more productive hobby. Surely, If you don't like your job, go get a new job.Endless gossiping is not going to get your job done. Surely, if you are extremely jealous of someone else, examine why and try to make yourself better enough so that you don't feel insecure to the point of bitching..Ya know. think about it 





Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Procrastination and Family drama,genetics and the blame game

Jason writes a blog and each blog entry always evokes spontaneous comments from me.In fact, I mull over the blog content in my head for days and then go back and post further comments.
We have a beautiful commenters community there on his blog who all write in with their own personal views on the topic of the blog and reading the other comments also is such a fulfilling experience.
So yeah, this time jason wrote about procrastination and was taking about his grampa and pa and about how procrastination runs in the family and about soybean fields in the backyard and about the blame game we all play to get away with procrastination and such.
I left three comments for him there and I felt that these comments of mine qualify of blog entries.Here they are :
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My comments
1/
Blogger Le cinq blog said...

Okay, You gotta lay off the Pot. Seriously, You gotta do it.Cannabis is a mind altering drug. Please,stop using weed or pot!

Secondly,you look super sexy in that picture.

Thirdly,I got so tired of constantly coming over and checking if you wrote a new blog that I started procrastinating on my own blogging as well.

Hmmmmm.wow, You had soybean fields in your backyard? How do soybean fields look though.Any pics you can share? Being vegan now, soy gives me my iron and protein and what not.Would love to see pics of soybean fields.

Yeah, no use blaming planets or stars. Blaming anyone or anything is a sign of a loser. I blame a lot too when i lose out or don't fulfill my goals and i have learned that blame goes nowhere.

Wow, this blog was just plainly profound and scratched the surface of untouchable topics in my deeply buried psyche.

I think I am gonna repost this comment on my blog just to get me going and update all of my blogs which btw I haven't updated in the past 2 weeks.sheesh

In my opinion we all procrastinate as an escape from a painful place in our minds. As an escape from a lack of motivation. Ya know. or prolly lack of confidence.
Someone once sent me a note about how procrastination is all about perfectionism. Ya know, you keep postponing it coz you want to do a perfect job of it but then the pity part of it all is this perfect time never comes sometimes.
Anyways, jase, hugs to you ,blog more often will ya.Keeps me going.Even if it just airport pictures or silly touristy stories and such.
hmmmm...

April 26, 2009 5:05 PM

Delete
Blogger Le cinq blog said...

I just read the 80 comments above mine and atleast three kids are procrastinating on their exam preparation while reading this blog.LOL
But yeah, hundred percent of us commenters have also admitted that we are procrastinators as well. I think all humans are procrastinators.
Speaking of which, like everyone else said, you have been touring so much and all that travel by itself is such hardwork. So yes, You are not slacking at all.
either ways as much as i would love for you to blog alteast once a week, If you really feel like you are forcing yourself to blog, give yourself a break . You deserve it.You can always come back when you are refreshed. Yeah, please catch atleast 6hrs of sleep every 24hrs.
love and hugs

April 26, 2009 5:37 PM

Delete

3/
Blogger Le cinq blog said...

I feel ridiculous posting a third comment on this blog entry ,but then, after reading this blog , It kept replaying in my mind. Just had to come back and say some more.
First off ,see,this scene where your father is procrastinating at home and you skip school and roam around town and then both of you are pretending to each other that you were both doing what you both were supposed to be doing. Hmmmmm..That's tragic and well, procrastination can stem from mild to moderate depression.While it is foolish to blame your grampa and pa for passing on procrastination to you as if you mean procrastination is genetic, The blame still holds weight, since depression is genetic in some way, and procrastination can stem from depression.So there is a complex reason behind mass familial procrastination.Maybe your dad was depressed for not getting the opportunities in life he would have wanted.Maybe he was disappointed with himself which is why he was/is depressed and procrastinating thereof.Ya know. all hidden complex reasons.Maybe I am over analyzing your blog, but then even if this comment doesn't correctly apply to you I am sure someone of the comment readers might relate to it, which is why i take pains to post a looong comment.
The sweet side of your father though was that you took you to ever audition possible.Reminds me of my father. My father would never say no to anything related to my education.He would even to date buy any book i would like.He is sweet like that.
Anyways,
I just had to come back and babble about this coz, the lines in your blog kept repeating in my head like crazy.
No point blaming parents for anything , even if they were bad parents. But yes, having a great showdown and telling them all the things you didn't like about their parenting and getting it all out kinda relieves the soul.It gets all the animosity out there and clears the air.
It felt better when i sat both my parents down one day and screamed out things all emotionally charged at what all they could have done better with their parenting.Ofcourse, after that, couldn't sleep that whole night. The next thing in the morning,I kinda told sorry to both of them and all of us broke into tears. Hmmmmm.Then there was a group hug and some breakfast.
yeah, cannabis just creates more depression.It does.So,good to lay off of it.I say this as a well informed physician.Many of my patients who are hard drug addicts now say that they all started with soft drugs like alcohol or weed.It never stops at that.
Dealing with any kind of pain by actually analyzing it and coming to terms with it is better than blocking it out with weed or drugs.
Okay, I am done with my blabbing on this comments box.Geez, three comments. Sorry Ppl, just had to share.
I know jase reads all comments from top to bottom.So yes, hoping he will have patience with my over-commenting on this blog.
Gonna post this comment on my blog for my own records.
Also, YOUR MUSIC IS VERY VERY VIBRANT AND ORIGINAL AND THE MOST HAPPY MUSIC i have ever encountered.you have THE GIFT buddy, so let's rejoice at your talent.K?EAch time i listen to a song of yours, I will for sure pep up.
Your great creativity is your greatest gift to us and the world.Thank for the gift of your music.
I apologize to the other comment readers for posting such a long comment.
Group Hug everybody!
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Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Why do people hit kids ? My answer to Reader's Query

Well, Someone posted in a query asking 'WHY DO PEOPLE HIT KIDS?"
I am guessing they meant to ask why to people hit their own kids at home .
Well, for one People are a stressed out lot. They are stressed out about finances , about parenting responsibilities and about work problems , about their relationship or familial problems . People in general bottle up all stress and anger for days on end with no outlet anywhere. At this point of maximal frustration , a child seems to be the only point of least resistance. Children are small in size or dependant on your in many ways and are under your care.They look like an easy target and thus bear the brunt of frustrated parents who have no where else to vent their anger.
Child abuse is a punishable offence in the US and your children might get taken away if you try to use your children as a sounding board to vent out all your anger and frustration.

Other reasons why parents might hit their kids are
1/Physical violence is a way of silence the other person. By using physical violence when words are not able to control, the parents show their immense desire to control someone else no matter what it takes. Such parents might be control freaks trying to use the fact that they are physically bigger than the child as a tool to physically control someone else.

2/I previously wrote a blog entry called 'Hit the baby first and then pacify it' . Again, sometimes parents are so eager to brain washing the child to think that their parents are their only world that they sometimes first create trouble for the child first , just so that they can then be the pacifier. Such children end up developing a mental condition where they sympathize with their own abusers . Such parents first hit the child or scare the shit out of the child and then eventually come over at the end of it all and then pacify them like they are not at fault at all. After an episode of physical or mental creulty , any small good gesture from the abusers is viewed by the child as a reward and this gives rise to reoccurances of such vicious cycles of abuse followed by pacification.

3/ Munchusen's sydrome by proxy--This is a disorder where the parents inflict physical violence on the child and make it look like a disease just so that they can bring their child to the hospital .The main motive behind this is that the parents get a high from all the attention they get out of the doctors during this hospital visit.This is definitely child abuse and such parents need psychotherapy .

Having said all this, Physical violence is a definite NO NO , no matter who hurts whom. Physical violence is a sign of lack of anger control. It is a malicious attempt to silence another person or to show who is in control, when apparently any person who resorts to physical violence is infact out of control rather than being in control.

Everyone is born small and helpless , Children need to be fed and taken care of till they reach adulthood.This is nature and biology, Nothing can be done about it. As a parent it is your moral responsibility to take care of the human beings you brought into this world. You cannot expect fully grown human beings to be born from the womb. Using your bigger physical size against someone who cannot help being small (for a while till they grow up ) is a crime. Parents who hit their kids obviously have anger issues, psychological issues and stress issues. I hope this answers the reader's query. Feel free to send it more queries and i shall answer them as and when i get time.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Dogs are not children, Children are not dogs-Pets and selfishness

Well, This blog is about what makes me angry. This blog is also about psychology behind human behavior. This blog is also about tips to deal with anger.
Dogs and dogs, Children are children.
I get severely angry at people who have dogs because they want to be entertained or those that want to feel bigger and important and feel loved and in control and those that want someone begging them for food and someone that they can order around.
You know what, sometimes people have children for the above mentioned reasons. You know, sometimes people want to have children for the sole reason that they can have someone smaller than them that will need them for basic needs like food and clothing and thus they can go around ordering the kid to sit and stand and what not and sometimes people have kids so that they can feel like this bigger person in control and want to misle this constant need of their children as love .
In short, many immature people have either dogs or even kids for very selfish reasons, reason that satisfy them and them alone. Such parents are totally worthless .
In my opinion any animals doesn't deserve to be a pet. Every animal in the human kingdom that was naturally born will be able to fend for itself and even hunt for its own food. It is a natural instinct. No animal in this world is built in a way to be happy in an enclosure or to be chained or belted or to live in small spaces. Dogs run faster than a human, they are prefectly capable of going for your neck and killing you .So being a better hunter and a true carnivore they are perfectly above you in the food chain so to speak. I mean, You toilet train a dog or a cat coz you don't want your house dirty. But you know what, why must a dog in the wild, first go through the torture of living in stupidly small houses designed for humans and then on top of that need to get toilet trained at that? Why? They would not need toilet training if they were not forced to live in homes that are clearly designed for human purposes . Yeah, the horror of getting male dogs sterlized and female dogs splayed. What the hell is with that ? The horror of pet stores. seriously.
We try to have pets for our own selfish needs of loneliness where we want to feel not alone. The dogs don';t want it , the cats don't want , the fish don't want it..They are free human being. They run faster than we can. They can jump over walls in a jiffy. fish in the sea travel thousands of miles during breeding season. And yet the horror of first of all confining these animals in closed spaces and then teaching them tricks in exchange of food , VVery cruel. Look at it this way. You take a woman, put her in a room. feed her, then impregnate her against her will and then sell her female babies to someoneelse, who then again ties her up in a room and then feeds her regularly, and toilet trains her and such and then again, bargains tricks for food? how would that look? Huh?
Yeah, on the other hand, I have seen many a parent who force their kids to do this and this coz that is what they would like as a parent, Very cruel.They dress them a certain way . I have seen parent bring their 3 yr old girls to the swimming pool dressed in a two piece bikini, Seriously, This is a child. She is going to take another ten years before she gets boobs, so please stop dressing her in a bikini like that. Sometimes parents are so eager to show off their babies as eye candy to others. Ya know, teach them lil things to say or do which are suppossedly cute in the eyes of adults. No Madam, your child is not a dog.
Also, I mean, someone says, " I don't want children. I have my dogs." Gosh, to such people, first off, Children and dogs are not the same. Dogs belong in the wild. Children a symbol of love. Neither one of them is here to perform your tricks or act like trophies.
Thank you very much for reading this to the end. Most people don't like a mirror to their life.They like living in denial.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Why do men leave you after having a baby ?

Okay, this is not me asking this question. Someone actually sent in this query. So ,of course, I decided to keep their request. But then, since I am a physician and have read my fair deal of psychiatry and behavioral science at med school, I am kinda equipped to answer this question for ya.I figured that my other usual readers might like to know the answer to this question as well.

The literal question that they asked was
" Why do men have a child with you and then leave you ?"
Anyways, MY ANSWER :

                                              First off, this is a sad situation to be in, if at all anyone is in this situation. Coz, you are viewing the whole situation is , Someone LEFT me , rather than viewing it as , The relationship just didn't WORK FOR THEM.
                                Look at this way.If they really want to be with you, they would,yeah?simple and clear.If they don't want to be, there obviously is a reason(right or wrong is not the point.They just don't want to be with you in the key )
                                     You are subconsciously viewing this situation as a personal failure, as if something was not adequate in you coz of which this person left you. Such a inadvertent self blame leads to feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.

                              My first advice would be, please understand that people do things  mostly because of  who THEY are , even more than whom they are reacting to . The way people respond to a situation has got to do more about the person's past experiences than even the situation itself. It is all relative perception.

                                       Okay, well, perhaps this person typed this question out as a general query keeping in mind a stereotype in certain communities where men have sex with you and then as soon you are are pregnant or you have their child, they give up and walk way from the relationship.
                                             I have seen this a lot in Brazilian and South American communities where the spread of AIDS has been rampant mainly because of men impregnating and walking out and the harm of multiple sex partners etc.Such walking out on pregnant partners is very common in other countries of low standards of living-Carribean, African countries (most of them ) ..So, yeah poverty is one big reason too.
                     A child does cost a lot to bring up and the guy just fears the monetary ramifications and runs away..All because, biologically he can run away from the fetus he took part to create.That in one  biological ramification of being male..I am sure if the pregnant female could somehow run away from the unwanted fetus she would too.But that is the topic of a whole other blog entry.

                                   Coming back to the present topic of why men leave after impregnating a female,
more.

                                         I really don't like stereotyping to explain human behavior. Each of us are so unique  in that>>We would be doing a ton of injustice if we tagged all male behavior into one and all female behavior into one. So most stereotyping is inaccurate . yeah, sometimes people deliberately try to conform to common stereotypes so that they can be called normal. You know, like these social rules where they say>This is what men are supposed to do and since i am a male, i better behave the same way they say I am supposed to behave or else, i am going to be called weird.

So , anyways, a guy has a child with a woman, they he leaves her/ why do you think that happens?
                                              First off, no matter what the situation has been that had led to the birth of the child, someone walking out of a relationship even after having a child says that they really don't feel the connection with the woman to want to stay with her , the child withstanding.
                                  This can happen
a/if the pregnancy was unexpected,
b/had happened due to failure of contraception or
c/if the woman had the child in spite of his wishes of continuing the pregnancy or
d/she told him that she was using contraception but wasn't actually taking any precautions and now he feels stuck with a child he didn't want to have in the first place.

                      Many people try to use a pregnancy as a emotional tactic to force a man to stay with them. well, having said all that, now that a child is already born, if the guy is a generally responsible parent , he would rather prefer to stay in the relationship just for the child. But if he is a little panicky or feels highly betrayed that he is very very angry and sees himself as a victim, then the anger goes beyond parental instincts.Then he might want to get out of it just to prove a point that he cannot be duped into a a relationship just due to a pregnancy.

Now, all of the above explanations are only for a pregnancy that was not planned.

There are so many cases where couples get married or otherwise, see their relationship going downhill once a child is born.
                           Sometimes people meticulously plan a pregnancy and have a child but after they have the child, they start bickering about who will change the diapers and who will feed the baby and such. It gets bitter and bitter as arguments continue this way.
                                  Often, a time of pregnancy or the time period when the mom is breastfeeding, she is most vulnerable, since of course she is the one breastfeeding at all odd hours no matter what and she is the one going through all the biological changes no matter how supportive the spouse is,.
                                           At the end of the day the mom might feel like she is doing much more than the husband in terms of child care. When women feel like a victim they get quite emotional and might bring up the issue with the husband and then again arguments might sprout up .
                                      In such a case , since the guy is not biologically undergoing any change , as in, he is not carrying the baby physically, it is easy for him to walk out even. IN a fit of anger, some men do walk out just coz they can .
                          As in, they are not carrying the baby and they can escape out of it at the peak of frustration. Such a walking out is truly representative of the fact that the father of this child is irresponsible in someway. And also because it is possible for him to walk away much unlike a pregnant woman who is in her advanced pregnancy and she is frustrated too but just can't walk way coz she is carrying the baby. It is all about biology and physiology.
                                         Also , sometimes, people don't think hard about what having a child entails. They make eager immature decisions to have a child and actually not mentally equipped or prepared to be a good parent and in such a situation, they end up repenting after having the child and most likely since they can't send the child back into the vagina, just do some resentful style of parenting.

                                In such situations too , men walk way quick , first off , they are scared and irresponsible and well, biologically since they are not breastfeeding they use that as a lame excuse for not taking custody of the child .
                                               So , for all the woman who want to have a child with a man.
a/Please take you time.
b/Both men and women need to actively use contraception till the time that both man and woman are very eager to become parents.
c/If one person forces or emotionally blackmails another person into a pregnancy , then the results of such parenting are going to be forced and resentful and disastrous.
d/Don't use pregnancy as a tool to ensure that someone will stay with you forever.
Since, I think everyone deserves to be with someone who doesn't need to be forced to be with them.

Won't you want a partner who wants to willingly stay with you even without a pregnancy rather than someone who is irritated each day that you tricked them into staying with you?


Also,
a/children are not a joke,
b/They are not your personal tools to use against your spouse. Please don't drag them into family feuds with your spouse, brainwashing them and forcing the children to take sides and such. Please leave them out of the fights.


Well, last word,

Men first have children and then leave you , coz,
a/ possibly they don't feel the love anymore with you or
b/because they are irresponsible parents who are scared of responsibilities as  a parent or
c/the stress of parenting has taken a toll on the relationship or
d/he never loved you in the first place,and the child was the last straw that tipped the scales
e/ the pregnancy was accidental or
f/he doubts it is not his child or
g/he loves the child but doesn't want to be with you anymore.
There are a lot of scenarios and therefore let us not stereotype behavior.
I hope this answers your question.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Humor as an attempt to forget or hide the anger

You know what they say about Stand up comedians. They say that some of the most comic stand ups are from people who have dark troubled often alcohol laces lives. True perhaps.
I have also sometimes noticed that excessive goofing around is a coping mechanism amongst personalities that are highly distressed and troubled. It is like , they chose humor as a tangent to shoot off from the circle of distress breeding more distress. WEll, they joke and joke about everything . always laughing.
Does such humor projection work to heal? I am not sure. It is like burying a ugly little hydra under the mud and dancing over it frantically hoping that the hydra won't come out.
What would be better is to deal with the cause of the anger and then try and correct the situation that is causing this constant anger rather than hide it under the garb of humor.
Anyways, gotta go now. I like watching stand up comedy though.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Hormonal disturbances can cause you go get angry for no reason

Sometimes hormonal imbalances, especially the thyroid hormone excess can cause a person to be too nervous and angry all the time. It would a great idea to get your thyroid hormones checked out by your family physician if you seem to be gettinng angry for no apparent reason .Just a suggestion.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Withdrawing yourself from distressing people and situations reduces anger development

Some situations are uniquely distressfully.
There is no apparent reason, but you feel uncomfortable. You get a headache or you just don't feel happy.
This has happenned to me sometimes, especially when i oblige and sit with groups during conversations and the most mundane stupid gossipy dicussions ensue. I have nothing to contribute at all, I just can't care any less about gossip. Then again, even just sitting there and listening to them talk crap really kinda gives me a headache which lingers for long afterwards.
Anways, needless to say, no point trying to dis associate oneself while still being a audience to such gossip sessions. I did write about disassociation as a method to deal with anger, But that technique doesn't help here.
So yeah, Just avoiding these gossip groups really helps me. I mean, I might as well go eat lunch alone under a tree or in the parking lot, alone and lonely, but hey, I don't have a headache that i have to deal with a later point of time.
Same thing with certain people. They seeminly look like your type. They are logically not suppossed to be giving you a headache since they are so much like you or so you think. But, for some reason , interacting with them dooesn't work for you. Maybe you overread things or expect too much coz they are so much like you and then like all things , the quality of conversation falls short coz you were expecting too much to begin with and such. So , what happens then is a headache. Ironically, sometimes, you have no real expectations from certain people and when in such occasions, even a minute spark kinda makes you feel better. sad but true. The more you expect, the greater the chances of disappointment. So yeah, sometimes , it is better to avoid any contact with such people too who for no apparent reason are able to give you that clouded head feeling.
This has happenned to me in the last 4 days, First a warmish reconnection, then frantic to and fro interaction(since it happenned after months of peafully blissful disconnection) and then slowly it started grating on my nerves. It takes a toll on me. gives me a headache, some underlying lurking incompatibility. So, I just decided that i must go back to his previous mode of blissful disconnection. Just walk away. don't bother what is happenning there on that other side . Who care? Not my business. Not unless i want a splitting headache each day.

So yes, i am withdrawing, completely. Atleast for now. Coz this interaction is not working for me. It is too negative, inexplicably so . Sorry. Going into self preservation mode

Sunday, March 22, 2009

An analogy for Internet stealing

When people steal in real life they feel guilty.But when people steal other people's pictures, poems, blogs, research papers, essays etc on the internet, they are not even aware they are stealing. Because you know, they don't visualize it as stealing, since it is the internet.
I think many people who do this actually are clueless to the fact that such copypasting is illegal and punishable by law.
Anyways, to drive in the intensity of the act into your heads , I am going to give you an analogy.
Someone leaves their home unlocked. As a goodwill gesture, a gesture of trust in community. The house is open. You sneak in. you walk around, you like the place. Then you open the refrigerator. There is a large chocolate cake. You eat a piece of it. You like it so much, you look around to see if anyone is there to object if you picked up the cake and ran for the door. Ofcourse no one is at home. YOu grab the cake and make a run. You live far far away, Say perhaps UK. You take the cake with you to UK and then you showcase the cake at your home. YOu invite guests over and then offer this stolen cake to them and then you lie about how you made the cake yourself.
Well, the above scenario is much akin to when someone visits my website, reads my poems, likes them, realizes that my WALKING IN CIRCLES POEM would be so apt for their weddingnirvana eternal circles theme, and promptly, they do some copypaste, coz you know, I am not physcially there to rap their knuckles when they do the copypaste steal, and then happily post it on their blog.


think about it, Internet stealing is stealing too.if you wont steal a cake from someone's home without their permission, you should not steal a poem from someone's site either.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Heya, I am happy

Okay, first off, I think something someone said kinda made a big positive difference or some such.
Or possibly the self acknowledgement that i am lazy with the seriously spooky nightmare did the trick.
Either ways, I finished studing a whole large book all of 530 pages all in a period of one day. This I did with long lounging breaks too.
I did have episodes of hypoglycemia induces slowing down.
But hey, I finished it.
Feels great.
But then , I think i am completely riled up.
I feel pukey and nervous too.
Too excited coz i have a few more days of this horrible drudgery to do .
I need a hug. Is anyone listening?
Ehugs will do. gimme some will ya?
Yeah, also , can someone tell me how to fix a paperback book where all the pages are seperated from the spine ?
I mean, I had been reading this 530 page book constantly underlining on it and making notes all over the page and now it is an abused book with ripped off pages. I need to stick them back onto the spine. Gimme tips please.
Yeah, also, thanks for the "best wishes" Thanks. They are deeply appreciated and cherished.
Love and hugs

Voluntary Isolation helps deal with inner angst !

Few people get the opportunity to actually manage to seclude themselves if they wanted to.
Usually many of us have spouses whom we suddenly cannot send packing off coz we need alone time --I mean, "don't even say Hi to me when you see me" kinda seclusion.
i like to take these seclusion sabbaticals from time to time. It helps to unwind like crazy(ooops, like not crazy)
Buy groceries good enough for a week, and stay indoors. yeah, If you don't have any work deadline then watching tv or browsing the internet is okay, But as is my case now, If you have a serious work deadline , then no tv, no newspaper, no nonwork books and no internet for most part unless for research purposes and voila, seclusion leading to productivity.
More producitivity, less anger.
We as people are more likely to ignore the small bad things when we are generally happy and productive otherwise.
So, yes, truly taking a mini sabattical.
All of my readers can read my older blog entries if they revisit and find no updates.
peace

Friday, March 20, 2009

Internet thieves

Some Internet thief just stole one of my own poem from my other site Poetry and prose and happily posted it on their website.
they never wrote to me asking for permission.
they never linked back.
Nothing.
Useless plagiarists.
Seriously, obviously, i am angry

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I am gonna take a bit of my own advice

I am gonna try and rest my overworked brain by going on a mini sabbatical where i am going to be selfishly disassociated.
lemme try.
it just might work for me to get back to being an overachiever.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

First hit the baby, then pacify it?

You know, there are some people who are passive aggressive and highly manipulative.
I think i have said this before on this blog,but gonna say again that
 passive aggressive behaviour stems from a deep sense of shame.
Any person who has a very low opinion about oneself  feels that they have no right to openly ask for things and get them.But yet, they still want whatever it is that they covet. Therefore,they end up being highly manipulative and passive aggressive.
These passive aggressive people have such malicious twisted methods of operation that it deeply angers me.


I also note that ,for some reason, the very undeserving and talentless people are the very ones who are very greedy too. They want all that they don't deserve and they go any far to get what they want.And they also try to pretend to not want it,while in their heart of hearts they surely want it and have already schemed a manipulative plan to achieve it too. They act cool on the outside while making sure they plan things enough to ensure someone is snared into their boobie trap. They are malicious focks like that.

In conjunction to the same topic, let us also discuss TALENTLESS people who have managed to be in a relationship with a TALENTED person.It is an UNSAVORY MATCH...
I have noticed that TALENTLESS people deliberately choose and try to be in relationships with people who are very talented .These talentless fockers somehow derive a self esteem just by the fact that they are sleeping with a talented person.

Just because the talented person is stupid enough to sleep with you doesn't make you talented by association.You just continue to be the same ole stupid talentless fuck who just happens to be sleeping with a talented person.

Here i mean > the really stupid women who want to be wives of scientists so that they can have smart kids.JEEEZ
Dude! What if the kid gets your dumb genes? And yeah , also, children get smart because of their upbringing. You being the stupid f*ck of a mom, what kind of guidance do you plan to give a kid to make them smart? nada!
YET, you want smart kids.How and why?

Speaking of  "Ill-fitting matches between contrasts"
 Let us also talk about "ugly as hell" men who want pretty wives, as their trophy wives.
 Dude!Essentially you really don't care about the sexual satisifaction of your wife , huh? The pretty wife must just do with an ugly f*ck like you coz you provide her spending money? What is this? BRIDE BUYING?

So, you want a trophy wife so you can SHOW the onlookers as part of a POWER DISPLAY, as to how  a pretty lil thing married you..
Marrying a pretty thing does NOT make you any more pretty looking , you just remain the same. yeah? So, cut the greediness and bury it.
Marriages cannot and should not be business deals..Sex should be just for love and not money and sex between equals is AMAZING!

Anyways, coming back to the  pysche behind "PASSIVE AGRESSIVE peeps" > these people derive self esteem from the fact that they were able to MANIPULATE a talented/pretty/good person  to love them .

How horribly malicious are their methods of entrapping a person ?.
However,what these malicious people forget is, you can entrap a person by pretending to be this and that, but then, how long are you going to pretend? a lifetime?

They are creating a suffocating environment for themselves by signing up for a life time of pretence inorder to ensure that  talented person continues to  be interested in them,because they started off the whole relationship with a lot of pretending. Very complicated!
Also, the malicious plan never REALLYworks!The whole time ,they know they are pretending.Somewhere they are aware that  if they didn't pretend, there is a great possibility that they talented person  won't really love the REAL THEM
What essentially happens is that though the talented person might offer them real plain "love of gold", The pretender, due to the self-awareness about how fake they are, are now NOT IN A POSITION TO ACCEPT THAT LOVE coming their way without being skeptical.

Coming back to the malicious methods adapted by "lesser beings" to trap "greater beings" to be with them,
Let me give you an example.They closely observe their targets to find out what MOVES them.
I mean, If they know that this person gets emotional about a certain issue, they use this knowledge as a tool to pretend they are really into the same issues,all just an effort to make sure this "target" person doesn't leave them.

This kind of MANIPULATION indicates the deep amount of disregard they have for anyone's rights. I mean, does the  person deserve such a TRAP?
 Is love all about passive aggressive games and emotional abuse?

If they sense that the other person is more likely to turn to them each time they get distressed, these monsters actually slyly create such distress to this TARGET person.
Constantly creating distress to a person knowing clearly that THEY ARE THE PERSON this target will run to during a time of distress, and then when the target runs to them, they COOLY pacify the target, just to earn some TRUST AND GOODWILL POINTS>> is what we call EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION.
This is what I call " first hit, then pacify" syndrome.

You know,IN THOSE ITALIAN MOVIES, men get some other people to create trouble for a woman first and then pretend to be just walking by and then pretend to help the woman in distress ..when actually the whole thing was a big set up.
Just like in those italian movies, where the male lead's friends try to molest her and then the male lead comes over and bashes them up and then takes home the woman. As if the woman is some stupid thing which only deserves to be manipulated and whisked away. and such.
There are women too that do this kind of manipulation  and then they pretend like they are the saint women that tolerate the infedilities of their partner and how inspite of all the pain, they still have the back of the man and such.

Playing the victim is yet another ploy that people without ethics employ to submit their partner into guilt and not allowing them to walk away from the relationship.. hmmm.What games people play.

I pity the people who are in relationships with manipulative malicious fockers and can't get out coz they are too afraid about what other people will think coz they have seen you together quite too often.
I have once been there, and I am glad i am not anymore. but the anger stays.

The anger returns when I see other people like me who are with completely malicious fockers. Get out of there already!
 No one has got your back.
Your "loved"one is the perpetrator of all the malice themselves.
They  isolate you to such an extent  that you cling on to them more and  they drag you into their focking mess to such an extent  that you forget that they are the messed up one.
Dear TARGET PERSON, No one has got your back. No one ever will.
No one needs to have your back either.
We all come into this world alone, We will all leave this world alone.
We don't need no "back holders"...You have a great independant back and can you get out of it already? It distresses me to be this mute spectator.

Disassociation as an ego defence

You know , when people are in situations where the source of pain is someone that is family or is related to them and when there is no way they can get rid of this constant source of pain, they have a very unique way to deal with it.
Such people develop a diassociated personality.
A stoic personality if you will.
They develop a shell around that pain and bury it deep in their head.
Such people can surprisingly perform very well at work and life in general coz nothing affects them. They continue to work hard no matter what.
Such an ego defence works great in terms of productivity, as in , a person can become an overachiever inspite of all the mess in their personal life. But having said that, they are walking on a fine line.
If one days suddenly something makes that shell to break up, then suddenly they are wreck.coz waves of pain then surge and submerge them forever from that very painful place they decided to forget forever. Hmmmmm.
You know,like a gangsta happily going arouund killing people for years, without a thought and then suddenly, one day after years, suddenly some realization about that truth about their life and the people around them dawns on them.They are such a wreck.Ya know, the gangsta then end up crying day in day out like crazy?
Just like a great dam broke..Hmmmm
anyways,gotta go now.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Ohkay, Yet another encounter with lesser mortals

Gosh, I have noticed that after i wrote theprevious blog entry, the anger reenactments in my head came down a notch.
So.blogging is an antidote indeed.
Meanwhile, A new cause for anger
I recently had to go to this land records office. I go there, yeah? then ,I discuss something and just as the concerned officer was helping me out, one really large black woman walks in and strats aggressively arguing with this officer.
With all the gesturing and screaming that she was doing,The officer just left me hanging there and immediately started looking at her problem. I stood there patiently and after ten minutes while they take out her records to look something, I wanted mine out too. This woman had another officer attending to her too,one whom she prolly knew personally or some such, coz he kept hovering about the area and then actually was trying to get her job done faster or some such.
This same officer then looked up my details as well and then instructed me to go to another office the next day to get some info corrected. I wasn't told why i couldnt go the same day except that the other place would be closed by the time i manage to drive there. So , well,I just continued standing there coz i was filling out some paperwork that i had to take along to that other office the next day. I kinda still had some queries regarding the things i have to fill out on the paperwork,so this other officer looks the info up and helps me fill it out .. I continued filling it out and for one final time had to ask another query. With all this filling up of paperwork and trying to get the officers give me all the required info, almost 25 minutes had already passed.

The prime reason i was needing to go to that other godforsaken office was coz the staff here in this office had made some mistake while entering my info in their system.My only reason to visit this office was to get the wrong info corrected on the system.

Instead of being apologetic for their own mistake that has caused me such trouble,they just didn't even offer me a seat and were instead attending to a person that reached the office later than I did.
I was needing to run around to set this thing right coz they made a mistake in the first place. And on top, though that other woman arrived there later than i did , they offerred her a chair and kept looking into what needs be done for her or some such. The thing is, she also wanted some kind of correction of info- that wasnt in actuality accurate.

Anyways, coming back to the story,By the time the 20 min elapses, two other men had arrived there.
This,I hadnt noticed, coz i stood at a nearby table busy filling out the paperwork while i could hear the lady screaming loudly at the officer .I had to presently walk back to the first officer's table to ask him the route to the new office, since i really didn't know that neighbourhood.

As it happens usually,Each time a pretty woman asks for help, every lil creep comes running all eager to be the first to offer some help, or pretend to help (with malicious intentions underneath).
So,these men that had arrived a lil later than the woman but were probably related to her in some way, suddenly got all eager to explain the route to me.Mind you,I never asked them anything at all.I was only asking the officers at the office;
For some reason,these ghetto men(their behavior was totally ghettoish-all loud and aggressive)were offering their help.

So,I was trying to be nice saying, "oh is that so?I see,thanks for the help" when they started gesturing as to how to drive down to that other office and started to give me landmark too.
But, of course,I had asked only the officers for the route. If these ghetto men chose to help , what could i do?So, anyways,after getting the route,I went back to filling up the rest of the paperwork.

I momentarily came back to ask if it was okay that i don't go to that other office physically myself and send a mail explaining the whole issue?
And for no reason, just like that, Suddenly this officer started barking at me in a very high tone.He says,"Oh my god! you have been butting in with your repeated questions for the past half hour.You keep asking the same questions over and over. Do you realize that it has been a whole half hour since you first arrived? Look at you, getting on my case for a whole half hour"
That is when i lost my temper too and told him in a high tone myself " It has been half hour because instead of dealing with me and finishing up with my case, U started paying attention to another lady who visibly arrived after me and for the past half hour you have been dealing with her case ,not mine.I have been reduced to hovering around your table asking my questions to you whenever i can squeeze them in.It is a pity that i have had to constantly butt in with questions.Had you taken the time to finish with my case and finish answering my questions, i would have gone by now"
Now,after listening to this, the fat black lady suddenly butts in and talks to the officer, " Oh , she is gonna keep saying the same thing over and over, just ignore her and do my job for me"

I got further enraged and I was like "what?" and
she suddenly starts barking at me , "
don't talk to me.oh yeah, you are now dragging me into this issue. The officer doesn't want to answer your questions anymore out of his own will and you start indirectly indicating about how he is doing my job instead of yours, Please don't drag me into this"
I was like " I have no intention of dragging you into this at all. Please don't try to pick up a fight with me"
she goes, "oh, are you not dragging me into this ? whoa, You just asked my brother for the route. what the hell are you doing trying to talk up to my brother"
I was like "whoa, I never asked him for the route at all. if he decides to help me, I can't say NO or do anything about it" and
she starts being very rude with me and now her other brother suddenly starts screaming at me at the top of his voice in a ghetto manner and is literally verbally ordering me to come out immediately and says that if anything has to be done, he will deal with it.
I must that this being screamed at by a perfect stranger was very disenchanting.
Now,suddenly this black woman is scared for instigating all this HIGH DRAMA and quickly gestures for her brother (who is by now screaming at me like a crazed lil dick) to stop
He tells her " sis,If she wants to know the route, I shall take her outside and discuss the route with her"
I was like, WTF.I was thinking in my head, "who the hell is he to take me out of the room, anyways? He doesn't even work here,WTF!This particular ghetto bastard needs to be kicked in his groin, STAT."

Meanwhile, both the officers are very angry with me coz they perceive me as the cause of the DRAMA .They ask me to leave quoting that since i have already wasted their time for so long with questions which they patiently answered, I must now go..WTF?
For which i politely but calmly and sternly tell them, " See, you are the officers in charge. If I have a query, i can only ask you. I cannot go and ask someone on the street."
Meanwhile this ghetto brother guy angrily stares at me as if he wants to hit me if he could(in his f*cking dreams!).
The officer suddenly now says, " see, I am just about to make to an important call to someone, If you have any more questions,quickly ask. or just let me call"
I was so pissed by then, I said, "okay, go ahead make your call, i shall wait"
Meanwhile the second officer figures that i might file a complaint against both of them for misdemeanour.So, quickly,This other officer is nervous,pacing around the office and finally grabs a chair and almost in an intimidating tone says to me, "Hey you, sit here"
I was like " whoa, listen to your tone" and
this retort of mine, took him by surprise.

You see,The problem with me is, I look like a teenager. I am 30yrs old but I physically look like I am 17 or some such. This younger appearnace is detrimental is such situations wherein people start ordering you around like they do to a kid coz you look like a kid. so yeah, this guy suddenly got surprised that i commented on his tone and
he said, " hey you ma,m sit down" and
i was like "oh, i don't need all that , let us skip the pleasantaries, I just need this question answered and i go "
See , by this time i was so riled up that I don't quite remember if that fat lady left with her thug like brother or not, but finally these officers answered all my queries, which of course i do have to admit i was asking for the third time.
This time around the officer says, "see M'm, you are so highly educated and such, come on, why do you keep asking me the same question over and over"
I told him" This is a govt office and you guys,the kind of statements you make in response to my queries, they are all vague, unclear and probably are supposed to be read between the lines/that is why I kept asking again just to confirm. ya know. Anways, by the time i walked out, i was kind of in a daze. seriously! and this officer was gesturing to the rest of the staff(which i caught from the corner of my eye as i walked out) that i was a crazy babbler
.
hmmmmm.seriously, I think i dealt with this messy situation that was thrown at me with dignity and calm, but then,one thing that i didn't quite like is that I allowed that ghetto brother to scream at me . I mean, he would have even prolly dragged me out had it not been an office. Seriously , these ghetto bastards have all kinds of stress due to their completely messed up drunk drugged out life and then they try to take it out on anyone that comes their way. what i highly am angry about is that i came along his way. Seriously, who wants to interact with a ghetto dick? come on !
Anyways, maybe the ghetto dick with get kicked by someone else by tomorrow, but they, maybe he will get even more bad and bitter after that? LOL
Karma cycle? not..

Saturday, March 14, 2009

People who don't understand their job description

A lot of problems arise solely because people think they are entitled to more than what they actually deserve.
A lot of problems also arise when people misunderstand the extent of their own duties at work and thus get all grumpy when asked to do their job, coz primarily they see it as someone asking them to do what actually is not their job.
It is very necessary that everyone understands what their duties  at work are and then go ahead and do them no matter what.
Many people set up mediocre goals for themselves and therefore get angry when others ,esp the bosses expect more work  for what they are getting paid for.
Anyways, I went to one of these superstores looking for an oven and I looked around  and then talked to  the salespeople including the manager coz I was looking for a particular brand and they didn't carry the one that I wanted .
They canvassed for the one that they had, they even checked out if they had a new piece  down in their basement ,,that they could send over from the basement upstairs just  Incase I wanted to purchase right away.They were pushing a sale of the oven that they carried.
hmmmm. and so I tell them that I am gonna go home and come back if I decided on it.
That usually is a clue to them that I most prolly won't come back, esp since they didn't have the brand I wanted  in the first place anyways.
So, yeah, I go home and then after two hours of computing and comparing the designs and the models and prices I finally figured that the one they recommended was not bad after all.
HERE IS WHERE THE ANGER PART FIGURES.
I go back again, I travel a good 10 miles to go back there, And I tell them that I want to take the brand they had.
 And just like that suddenly the salesman who was so eager to please me in the morning suddenly says that All they had was the piece that was already on display and therefore, that display piece is the one they will be able to sell to me.
I say, "Oh no, but then you said you had a new piece ready to be sent over from the basement for my sake, please check"
The focking moron jackass says."oh, that one, we just sold it "
Ofcourse he didn't sell it, he is just a greedy ass who want to sell of a scratched piece to me now that I did him the favor of actually coming back for their product.
I get a lil angry and outraged and say " yeah, It has just been an hour or two since I left your store , Obviously you never sold anything, just go look , you might have a new piece down there "

He goes pretending to look , meanwhile, another lady , the one that talked to me the last time came around.

She wasn't aware that the other salesman had already lied to me that there was no new piece.
She asks,"oh, you came back, do you want me to get the bill ready? Yeah, we do have the new piece ready to ship" and the manager comes over and  confirms that the new piece will be billed for me and then suddenly this other sleazeball salesman runs over ,and they gossip , and suddenly everybody, all four of them, like right through their teeth. "Oh, that new one we already just sold. Ofcourse, we have this piece that we can give you "
whoao!!!
SO , I get so enraged that I yell at them all ,saying that they have no idea what customer service is, and how foolish they are being by lying about the lack of a new piece .
I told them " I mean,don't you guys want to sell stuff or what? You guys are so foolish you are gonnna let customers walk away without buying anything rather than "
I guess, their plan in their cheap lil heads was that since ofcourse I came back, I probably think this is a major bargain and since I came back, they must now play hard and try and sell me a scratched piece. Ya know..

I told them " You are the sellers, you cannot sit and play all these petty lil games." and then this salesman suddenly starts speaking in his native tongue with this other lady prolly assuming that I won't understand his language. That made me even more angry. These people have the habit of babbling in their own language right in front of someone whom they want to bitch about prolly coz they assume that this third person won't know that language.

I got so angry and I told him, "I do understand what you just spoke to her and please don't lie to her  that you never told me that a new piece was available. Also, how rude is it to stand in front of a customer and suddenly speak in a language that you think they won't understand. And also you are so pathetic and greedy that just because I came back for it suddenly you just don't have any new pieces for shipment anymore??"

These guys kept convincing me that ofcourse everyone takes the pieces that are scratched and such. SERIOUSLY, did I have "LOSER WHO WILL BELIEVE ANYTHING", pasted on my forehead or what?

I mean ,If all customers just purchase scratched stuff , how come the one they apparently sold to this imaginary "another customer" in the past hour(allegedly) was a new piece instead of the scratched piece on display?
focking liars.
gosh.
with such greedy b^%tards around  there is no way of getting rid of anger.
Ofcourse, I told them what I thought and I walked away.
Though ofcourse I wasted my gas travelling to and fro to that place. That is what i am angry about and I also wasted my only holiday on jackasses who ruined my mood for days after that.
One consolation is that I didn't give them my business. but hey, I so wanted a new oven .. damn.. Now I have to go talk to someone else. Waste of my time and my energy with these idiots

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