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Monday, April 6, 2009

Why do people hit kids ? My answer to Reader's Query

Well, Someone posted in a query asking 'WHY DO PEOPLE HIT KIDS?"
I am guessing they meant to ask why to people hit their own kids at home .
Well, for one People are a stressed out lot. They are stressed out about finances , about parenting responsibilities and about work problems , about their relationship or familial problems . People in general bottle up all stress and anger for days on end with no outlet anywhere. At this point of maximal frustration , a child seems to be the only point of least resistance. Children are small in size or dependant on your in many ways and are under your care.They look like an easy target and thus bear the brunt of frustrated parents who have no where else to vent their anger.
Child abuse is a punishable offence in the US and your children might get taken away if you try to use your children as a sounding board to vent out all your anger and frustration.

Other reasons why parents might hit their kids are
1/Physical violence is a way of silence the other person. By using physical violence when words are not able to control, the parents show their immense desire to control someone else no matter what it takes. Such parents might be control freaks trying to use the fact that they are physically bigger than the child as a tool to physically control someone else.

2/I previously wrote a blog entry called 'Hit the baby first and then pacify it' . Again, sometimes parents are so eager to brain washing the child to think that their parents are their only world that they sometimes first create trouble for the child first , just so that they can then be the pacifier. Such children end up developing a mental condition where they sympathize with their own abusers . Such parents first hit the child or scare the shit out of the child and then eventually come over at the end of it all and then pacify them like they are not at fault at all. After an episode of physical or mental creulty , any small good gesture from the abusers is viewed by the child as a reward and this gives rise to reoccurances of such vicious cycles of abuse followed by pacification.

3/ Munchusen's sydrome by proxy--This is a disorder where the parents inflict physical violence on the child and make it look like a disease just so that they can bring their child to the hospital .The main motive behind this is that the parents get a high from all the attention they get out of the doctors during this hospital visit.This is definitely child abuse and such parents need psychotherapy .

Having said all this, Physical violence is a definite NO NO , no matter who hurts whom. Physical violence is a sign of lack of anger control. It is a malicious attempt to silence another person or to show who is in control, when apparently any person who resorts to physical violence is infact out of control rather than being in control.

Everyone is born small and helpless , Children need to be fed and taken care of till they reach adulthood.This is nature and biology, Nothing can be done about it. As a parent it is your moral responsibility to take care of the human beings you brought into this world. You cannot expect fully grown human beings to be born from the womb. Using your bigger physical size against someone who cannot help being small (for a while till they grow up ) is a crime. Parents who hit their kids obviously have anger issues, psychological issues and stress issues. I hope this answers the reader's query. Feel free to send it more queries and i shall answer them as and when i get time.

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