The trophy girlfriend/trophy boyfriend and Insecurity issues !

Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.

Insecure people do this.
This is a behavioral pattern that arises from longstanding insecurity that eventually transforms into a personality disorder.

Sometimes people want to choose the best of the best to have as a boyfriend/girlfriend.It is some kind of pacification technique they adapt to get rid of the many insecurities they have or the many inadequacies that they are aware of that exist in themselves.

They do this primarily not just because they appreciate the  positive qualities that this other person  has but as a way to prove to themselves  that they are obviously worthy enough for such a remarkable  person  to actually choose to be with them.

Sometimes, this method of self-assurance even extends to a point where they feel  this need for all their friends to approve of their girlfriend/boyfriend.So, seeking a mate essentially becomes a vanity exercise.They start choosing people they can show off to other people as in, "Look , look, look at them(him/her)..they are prettty, they are smart.. they are great in every given way and look look, they chose ME...so, obviously, I must be someone very special for them to choose me over everyone else" etc etc..The trophy girlfriend or trophy boyfriend scenario.
(Please note that "They" has been used instead of He or she in order to assume a gender neutral phrase)


Wanting to have a boyfriend or girlfriend who is fantastic in every given way is not a wrong thing at all. But wanting it as a way to improve your own self esteem vicariously is a stupid thing to do. Insecurities are the  burden of a lifetime and they just don't go away just because some fantastic person chooses(or makes the mistake to choose) to be with you. Insecurities are eliminated  only when you examine the real cause of your insecurity  very objectively without being biased and take positive steps to eliminate the mental and psychological cause behind that insecurity.