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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Withdrawing yourself from distressing people and situations reduces anger development

Some situations are uniquely distressfully.
There is no apparent reason, but you feel uncomfortable. You get a headache or you just don't feel happy.
This has happenned to me sometimes, especially when i oblige and sit with groups during conversations and the most mundane stupid gossipy dicussions ensue. I have nothing to contribute at all, I just can't care any less about gossip. Then again, even just sitting there and listening to them talk crap really kinda gives me a headache which lingers for long afterwards.
Anways, needless to say, no point trying to dis associate oneself while still being a audience to such gossip sessions. I did write about disassociation as a method to deal with anger, But that technique doesn't help here.
So yeah, Just avoiding these gossip groups really helps me. I mean, I might as well go eat lunch alone under a tree or in the parking lot, alone and lonely, but hey, I don't have a headache that i have to deal with a later point of time.
Same thing with certain people. They seeminly look like your type. They are logically not suppossed to be giving you a headache since they are so much like you or so you think. But, for some reason , interacting with them dooesn't work for you. Maybe you overread things or expect too much coz they are so much like you and then like all things , the quality of conversation falls short coz you were expecting too much to begin with and such. So , what happens then is a headache. Ironically, sometimes, you have no real expectations from certain people and when in such occasions, even a minute spark kinda makes you feel better. sad but true. The more you expect, the greater the chances of disappointment. So yeah, sometimes , it is better to avoid any contact with such people too who for no apparent reason are able to give you that clouded head feeling.
This has happenned to me in the last 4 days, First a warmish reconnection, then frantic to and fro interaction(since it happenned after months of peafully blissful disconnection) and then slowly it started grating on my nerves. It takes a toll on me. gives me a headache, some underlying lurking incompatibility. So, I just decided that i must go back to his previous mode of blissful disconnection. Just walk away. don't bother what is happenning there on that other side . Who care? Not my business. Not unless i want a splitting headache each day.

So yes, i am withdrawing, completely. Atleast for now. Coz this interaction is not working for me. It is too negative, inexplicably so . Sorry. Going into self preservation mode

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