My fondest memories of me with my dad,so far!

1/My earliest memory of him was me and him walking in the evening to
the juice bar near our home,me holding his fat index finger (he was
not fat,but he had chubby hands) ,the index finger which he would
point out to me ,gesturing for me to hold it.I prolly was four or five
then?evening walks and grape juice..(which I found too sour to my
taste btw,so I would drink pineapple juice)

2/As a kid,in second grade,I remember him offering to make me instant
ramen noodles-and he was enticing me saying how tasty it was gonna
be.It was early evening.This memory is imprinted in my mind for some
reason!We had a cherry wood cupboard and bright windows in that living
room back then.

3/As a kid,my dad would make us FINGER CHIPS,his name for freedom
fries..or french fries.HE MAKES THEM WELL TOO.Fresh cut potato fries
are the best.

4/Sometime around fourth/fifth grade,he taught me how to use the knife
and fork.We had a green dining table then and the kitchen opened up to
a spacious backyard with a kitchen garden...And one morning , he was
like,wait,you are doing it wrong,hold the fork with your left hand and
here pick up the knife, hold it with your right..and boom,I LEARNED
instantly.

5/Sometime during sixth grade,my mom was out of town and so,for
dinner,my dad took me to a restaurant and I had tomato soup...the
croutons crunched in my mouth and back then I didn't know what I
ate--I didn't know they were croutons...so,I thought to myself that
they were magic ingredients in the soup that crunched in your
mouth..Awwww

6/Also,in seventh grade,my dad made me my school lunch for 4 days when
my mom was out of town..So,each day,in my school lunch,I would
find,PLUM CAKE in my lunch box, in addition to the usual fare..What a
tasty surprise..awww.

7/Yeah,another fond memory was our sunday strolling trips when I was
in first and second grade.We would walk all the way to the strip mall
near our home and they he would buy shampoo for himself and he would
buy BUBBLEGUM for me..There has been many a sunday wherein,i have
swallowed the bubblegum while chewing on the way back and then spent
all sunday worrying about what would happen to me coz i swallowed
gum..true story

8/Another evening stroll memory with my father is that of our bakery
visits..he would buy me glazed cherries or cumin tea biscuits at the
bakery and I would watch all the evening walkers at the stores while
we strolled...awwww.What fond memories(wonder,if dad remembers our
strolls-must email him or call him to find out)

9/As I grew up,dad kept traveling so much for work that he barely got
time to spend with us.so,some stories amiss from that phase of my
childhood.

10/This may not be a fond memory but a deeply imprinted memory of my
dad walking around with the vacuum cleaner all around the house
cleaning on sundays, not allowing us kids to sleep in late on a
sunday!
..the vroom vroom of his vacuum cleaner would automatically wake up
us ,as he would mindlessly try to vacuum around us in our
bedrooms..LOL..SERIOUSLY,,,come on!

11/During eleventh and 12th grade,my dad has accidentally come across
me on streets,RIDING the motorbike..."JUST TOO FAST" to quote his own
words..He would be like, " I saw you riding here and here on your
bike..I saw you from my car ..and you were just riding too
fast"'LOL...and yeah,,he would be after my case for not washing my
bike and keeping it clean...btw,,the motorbike was his gift to me for
TOPPING IN SCIENCE AND MATH AND EVERY other subject in school in the
tenth grade...Yay me!

12/One fond memory with him was me at 16yrs of age,learning to drive
and then with our chauffeur beside me in the front of the car and my
dad and sis and mom on the back seat.I drove on the freeway for the
first time ,very efficiently ..and everyone was so proud of me ,that
I drove so well, and then I GOT STUCK on gear shift on the way back
..and all hell broke loose..LOL..Then the chaffeur had to take over
and get the car out of the mess ..

13/Before entering med school, I actually semi graduated in
biochemistry..so,during that grad school,one of my grad school friends
would visit me at my home quite often..For some reason,my dad kept
complaining that I made friends with NO-GOODERs.
seriously,he would mock this poor girl(in her absence ofcourse) .NOT a
fond memory,but a deeply imprinted one at that.

14/My dad came with me when i took my college admission tests prior med school.
and my dad came with me when I joined med school...Such a proud day
for him...and then I called mom and told her I got into med school...A
BIG dream realized for me..AND I am glad my dad was there that moment
to share it with me..:))I think I made him damn mighty proud that day!

15/During the first year of med school, my dad and mom ,would come
visit me often,coz in their minds,I was still their little daughter
and so,they thought, i needed frequent checking on....
My dad would buy me BOXES of chocolate bars during each visit,enough
to last me till the next time he visits.
GENEROUS dad my dad...not just with chocolates but with BUYING ME
BOOKS-VERY GENEROUS,no questions asked,all books will be bought
without question...:))))

16/I think>>> I kinda moved away from home at the age of 19 for med
school and NEVER MOVED BACK...I have from time to time STAYED with my
parents for long periods, maybe a few months...but, see, WE BIRDIE
KIDS have flown the nest...We are now strong , professional
women..dreaming our own dreams,making it big ...and making our parents
proud...but my dad misses us ...one day very recently blurted out,"oh
but I love for my kids to be near me all the time"

MANY more fond memories waiting to happen..and so,on this day.
I WISH MY PARENTS...both mom and dad,,GOOD HEALTH AND HAPPINESS and A
LONG HEALTHY LIFE...coz,when I FINALLY receive my NOBLE PRIZES,I want
them sitting proud in the audience..cheering me away...HUGS DEAR PA
AND MA!
tAGS:father's_day,father,mother,memories,my_fondest_memories_with_my_dad,childhood,happy_moments,biography,life,love,family,father_and_daughter,

The "blessed to have such a husband"syndrome!

This lady blogs each foodblog entry with a line that starts with how
blessed she is to have a husband who just eats whatever she makes.
Blessed?wtf?BLESSED to have a husband who doesn't
participate in the kitchen chores,and just MAKES YOU prepare dinner
?WTF ?what kind of a blessing is that?

OH,WAIT A MINUTE..
Are you a financially dependant female spouse?AAAH.THAT
PROLLY,explains the whole "BLESSING'...given that HE EARNS THE MONEY
that you use to buy the groceries, YET,he doesn't DEMAND you to make
the things he likes and JUST EATS what you make which inadveratantly
is WHAT YOU LIKE TO EAT?Thus, what a GREAT BLESSING IN LIFE IT
IS(Insert my sarcastic tone!)

Twisted are the lanes of familial abuse....Financial control,emotional
control,the sex for money situations,and many such twisted invisible
lanes of abuse I won't and can't dwell on in this blog entry.
IN SON CENTRIC CULTURES, Parents bring up their
famale children WITHOUT much love or inspiration coz ,only children
who are most likely to take care of you in your old age are supposed
to be nurtured with education and love(selfish and petty style of
parenting this)
In such cultures,The girl child is pretty much
abandoned coz,she is most likely going to provide SEX (sex is seen as
some negotiable commodity in the business of marraige in such
cultures) and CHORES,BREEDING SERVICES to her future husband and not
to the birth family.They might feed her but there is no real
nuruturing of the female child emotionally or intellectually in such
selfish SONG CRAZY cultures!
FIRST CULPRIT...social practices that assign strict rules on which
gender must do what.
"First culprit" in what you might ask.First culprit in GENERATING
WOMEN who grow up to have the mindset as to how blessed they are coz
their husband eats what they prepares at dinner.

Given that my parents decided to give me an education and loved me
enough to make me supersmart and have oodles of self esteem,I want to
ask all the wives who feel blessed to have HUSBANDS in the first place
and then husbands who won't ever lay a hand on them in the second
place and thirdly, as AN EXTENSION of the same thought process,WIVES
who feel blessed that their husbands eat whatever they prepare without
a fuss.

HERE IS A LIST OF MY QUESTIONS?Dear blessed wives club,
a/are you financially dependant on your husband?Do you have enough
educational qualifications or a skill set to succesfully get a job
oustide of your home that will be able to finance a lifestyle that
your husband is currently able to provide with his sole earnings?
b/Does your husband have hands and legs?are they functional?then why
is he NOT DOING half of the kitchen chores?Why is he NOT in charge of
half of the dinners, and half of the dishcleaning and half of all
other chores?Why are you the one always preparing dinner?
c/Do you have a daughter?Are you psychologically training her to be
the second grade citizen of yet another family in the future?
d/Do you realize that you have the mindset of a GLORIFIED PET?
Fucking idiots!

Relearning and Unlearning,savasana-Another jason quote and my anecdotes

jason's blogged.
He blogged after a long long time, after I finally tweeted him to
actually blog(I waited for quite a bit before finally I had blog
cravings,upon which,i tweet requested for a blog from him)

Here are few lines from the blog.
QUOTE
I've been re-learning lately that it's best not to think about any of
that stuff and just speak. off the cuff. from the heart.
*****
Real life, even a somewhat routine and boring life, if honored
honestly, provides plenty of great material.
******
I love happy endings. I just loathe the beginnings
******
Because, in summary, the benefit IS the happy ending. Am I right?
******
As an adult, looking back at what I know now, and based on how I feel
today as a practitioner of yoga, I wish my school had added yoga when
I was in kindergarten. Along with pole dancing.
***********
It's non-aggressive, non-competitive, non-religious, and nowhere near
dangerous. I've never seen anyone sprain an ankle or break a nose in a
yoga class. If anything it teaches compassion, patience and focus. And
humility. If you fart
*********
UNQUOTE

You can find the whole source blog of this quote here
http://jasonmraz.com/journal/2013/the-benefits-of-a-happy-ending/

MY ANECDOTES TO HIS BLOG entry:
First off,given that I AM a PHYSICIAN and human physiology expert and
also ,coz i know and can name every single bone,nerve and muscle in
the body(yes,all of them have names and predetermined origins and
endings and functions too)...I CAN SECOND WHAT JASON IS SAYING HERE
about yoga and how it is VERY SCIENTIFIC much more than any other
exercise routine.

AND ALSO, coz i am a sanskrit expert ,I am gonna add a wee bit of
sanskrit LINGUISTIC nugget in here.
SAVASANA, the last resting pose, as jason puts it is actually a
sanskrit phrase which roots from combing words SAVA which means CORPSE
and asana which means pose...So SAVASANA essentially is CORPSE
POSE.:)) Helps the body go to an immensely restful stage much akin to
a corpse..

tHANKEE JASE,,for blogging..and thank you all readers for reading!

Training future victims-Gender discriminatory parenting!

Not providing opportunities,encouragement ,love and education to your
female children is like training future victims who will be so
financially dependant on someone else, they will be prone to being
victimized.

DON'T PARTICIPATE IN THIS GENDER ABUSE..

Be generous,fair and unconditional parents.

Teach your daughters to have an education and a job and the right to
love and marry ONLY someone they really do love without any financial
considerations.

Empower them enough, so that when they grow up, they will have the
freedom to love and seek someone they emotionally and intellectually
and physically are attracted to ,instead of being so financially
desperate that they seek to marry someone that can finance their
needs.

PLEASE STOP BRINGING UP FUTURE VICTIMS.

An adult female is a great intellectual resource-don't let it go waste
by forcing women to sit at home and do everyone else's share of house
chores.

Tags:parenting,gender_disrimination_in_parenting,parents_to_girls,your_daughter_is_not_a_princess,training_a_future_victim,give_your_daughter_education,train_your_daughter_to_be_financially_independant,womens_day,women,family_rights,gender_equality

Dysfunctional relationships as a cause of SHOPPING ADDICTION and HOARDING!

Okay! when you are born to a generous dad who decides to give you tons of spending money coz he is so proud his dearest daughter got into MED SCHOOL, you end up having too many shoes in med school.why? and how?let me tell you the story now

I used to buy one pair of shoes every week(okay,once every three weeks to be very accurate.LOL.Once a week is just too much even by bored spendthrift standards!).

(on retrospect , I think I USED to do that coz I WAS with a guy who was "kinda" my boyfriend by the default rule that we hung out together a lot.WE were so incompatible that I kinda shut myself out OF anything he had to say by actually at point of our acquaintance asking him NOT TO SHARE HIS PERSONAL STUFF TOO MUCH with me anymore..WHY ON earth did I DO THAT?

Well, for one, by the third date, I REALIZED that he was VERY FAKE, as in , THE FRONT HE WAS PUTTING UP for me to see, was not the real him..
From my visit to his home, I GATHERED that he had a lot of secrets, a lot of skeletons in the cupboard(which btw, as time went on I found out or figured out and then I REELED IN SHOCK at those shocking secrets of his and then I went into a deep depressive mode for years TILL I FINALLY BROKE UP WITH HIM..I was shocked and appaled and scared to even break up with him for the longest time.I WAS SHOCKED INTO inaction and ended up  FREEZING time in my head.really!)

And around that same time , like I already stated, I also realized that WHATEVER he told me WAS HIS CLEVER MANIPULATIVE VERSION of his side of the story...WHICH WERE ALL REALLY FAR FROM THE ACTUAL TRUTH of what actually happened.

In short, HE WAS A BROKEN, DAMAGED confused guy .
I figured..I CAN SAVE MYSELF THE STRESS of knowing all the disturbing shit, by simply REFUSING to listen to the manipulative banter altogether.

NO POINT..ya know..

I HAVE THIS TENDENCY to completely shut myself out of conversations from people WHO distress me with their dishonesty! I hate small talk too.

So,yeah, coming back to the shoes, well, since WE HAD NO REAL CONVERSATIONS anymore since i SHUT MYSELF OUT of him, we spent most of our dates each day, just walking down shopping malls/streets and sit at a cafe, with me and a medical textbook or me nervously bantering about the nasty people at the dorm and such mainly coz someone had to fill the silences..AND given that he was bitter that I WON'T LET HIM SHARE HIS STORIES(all cleverly put stories of his), he sat there, not really listening, but just all glazed out..passive aggressive behavior from his part.

he was much like an au pair for my trips to the shopping mall.

I didn't like shopping malls or cafes either,but since, he no longer wanted me visiting his home (coz , i started asking too many questions about his lifestyle I suppose),we really had no place to meet after college..
Given that i hated him so much and given how incompatible we were,Why were we still meeting up? For one, HE HAD NO GUTS TO JUST BREAK UP ..and I was too shocked to take any action.

NEITHER OF US WANTED the relationship ANYMORE..i suppose, but we went on and on with it ..LIKE IDIOTS who had no value for time  and as if ,we deserved to punish ourselves with a dysfunctional,non-productive,destructive relationship.

Amidst all the silences and resentment and passive aggressive non-involvment from his side,IT would get all boring ,what with the NON COMMUNCATION and bitter silences and what not, that I WOULD end up shopping for no reason ..FOR THINGS I REALLY I didn't NEED or care about to begin with.
SHOES come into the picture.maybe handbags,books and dresses figured somewhere there too on the list.

sO,EACH DAY,i kept meeting this guy,whom, right from the second date,I HATED WITH ALL MY HEART, and yet,I just went on and on with it and in the process LOST OUT a lot, and also kept BUYING AND HOARDING STUFF??

Finally,after med school,I FINALLY BROKE UP WITH HIM ONE DAY.

and funnily,I soon stopped compulsive shopping too..
.I REALLY WAS NEVER A PATHOLOGICAL SHOPPER before i met him and I WENT BACK TO MY ORIGINAL happy self once i broke up with him.

That really told me as to how UNHAPPY he made me feel in life,so much to a point where i started developing unhealthy habits of compulsive shopping and such!

Where am i going with this blog article?

So,people,if you see yourself compuslively SHOPPING for things you don't need or compulsively running after materialistic things like shoes,perfumes and handbags,it is time to LOOK AT YOUR OWN LIFE WITH ALL HONESTY, to see if the relationships you have with people around you are distressing you in some way or if there is some emptiness in your heart or disappointments about yourself which you are trying to compensate by HOARDING STUFF.

misplaced anger and misplaced reactions

I categorize their weird reactions as"misplaced anger".Time to
introspect into their own life and find the anger
source!CHEERS?maybe?.................................
Tags:psychology,misplaced_anger,weird_reactions,social_media

No common language of communication in the marriage?

I mean, you both don't even have a COMMON COMFORTABLE LANGUAGE OF
COMMUNICATION..
That says a lot about what you think of a relationship.
Apparently there is no need to even share ideas in your marriage?
Just share a bed,, giggle and fuck and eat together and that is it?
what a drab situation indeed
tags:language,meaningless,marriage

RIGHTFUL BEGGAR?

Women in so many cultures are taught to RIGHTFULLY beg their husbands

or boyfriends for gifts or spending money.

Culturally teaching them that an adult asking

another adult for spending money is OKAY! (which

it is not).

Children asking parents for spending money is okay,but expecting money in

exchange for companionship or sex is like BEING A GLORIFIED PET .

IT IS NOT OKAY and there is no pride in that at all.

TAGS:sociology,women,beggar,financial_independance,self_respect

Pimping Billie Holiday?

When Billie holiday arrived in harlem, no one even tried to find out if the girl has any talents..
They just figured that she is a girl of 13 with vagina and put her into prostitution for "5$ a time".
That is what MODERN DAY PORN does too.
DOESN'T ALLOW WOMEN to be human beings,women with personalities,talents,likes and
dislikes...
To vegas and other porn/prostitution rings, women are just commodities to be leched at or rented out...
Tags:human_traficking,women,body,porn,abuse
HUMAN BODIES SHOULD NEVER BE AVAILABLE FOR RENT OR PURCHASE ESPECIALLY
FOR SEX...because sex is a beautiful expression of love where NO MONEY
should play a role.
Speaking of which, women should stop offering their wombs for rent aka
housewivery?(sorry, just had to say it)

Letting out sexual energies in the wrong channels

I was watching this old japanese TV SERIES called OSHIN and there are these "1983 scenes" AMIDST the 1901 scenes, which honestly? could be done away with.
It is a pain to watch this YOUNG ACTRESS playing this GRANDMOTHER to this male actor who prolly in real life is her own age but is now playing her grandson .The 1983 scenes also show japanese society as the current society which is APING AMERICAN LIFESTYLE...(again, another pain to watch)

What an interruption in the scenic beauty of  the childhood story of oshin from 1901..LOL

So yeah, the grandson and grandmother have this strange equation,
I think that  the ACTORS managed to enact this equation  in a rather CREEPY MANNER..

Given the factor that possibly both the actress and actor are of the same age,yet the female actor is playing the male actor's grandmother and there is this STRANGE SEXUAL TENSION THAT I COULD PERCEIVE the whole way through their scenes together.
Either that or given that JAPAN IS SUCH A SEXUALLY REPRESSED SOCIETY ,it has become a social trend to have alternate ways of letting out the sexual tension by having creepy inappropriate sexual equations with females in the family who you have more access to communicate on a regular basis .

To add to the creepiness in one of the scenes, the grandson gets into a hot bath with his grandmother and scrubs her back...and geezus...
why, oh, why?
That is when it occurred to me that
This oftentimes occurs in societies where there are strict rules prohibiting free NORMAL SEXUAL INTERACTIONS with females ...AND THUS all that normal pent up sexual  energy seeks escape in interactions that are considered acceptable.Such repressed societies often times don't raise an eyebrow if you are talking to a female who is related by blood or marriage to other male members of your family.
Truly, In japan which has a history of  men having wives to procreate and Geishas on the side to amuse their other needs, such a creepy occurrence of a sexual frustrated grandma asking grandsons to rub their back or grandsons offering to rub backs of grandmas ...
....hmmmm..whatever
Either ways, soaking in a bath tub is FILTHY...SOAKING IN A PUBLIC BATH is even more filthier.geezus .Japan and their public baths..Same goes for the public baths of the middle east..IN modern days..where ...anyways whatever.

Same thing with cultures where there is LOCKING UP of one gender in veils and garbs and often constantly  referring to them as some kind of sexual "object" ( as if men are not equally the sexual objects to women..no?) , the men end up in HAMAMS having nice lil baths with fellow men.
Since interaction with fellow men is NOT VIEWED AS IMMORAL or not viewed  with suspicion,oftentimes all that pent up sexual energy that comes  from not being allowed to NORMALLY INTERACT with females,ends up getting translated to physical sexual interaction with fellow males and
behind closed doors...true...so yeah..
(I am NOT in any way IMPLYING that all male homosexual behavior stems from pent up sexual tension that has no outlet in repressed societies..Homosexuality is a complex subject with varied reasons ...so, well)
Tags:sex,sexual_health,repression,perversion,inappropriate,creepy

The extremely agreeable woman with no personal personality

These women are extermely agreeable, and take upon the personality of the male sexual partner they are with...and they have NO REAL AUTHENTIC PERSONALITY OF THEIR OWN.
The moment they divorce the old husband or BF and get with a new boy, they funnily take upon the personality and opinions of the new boyfriend...
NO personality of their own there...This might make them seem very agreeable and EASY for LOSER MEN to want to be with.Ya know, the kind of men who feel threatened by anything that is NOT easy and NOT usable(...but then..even easy gets boring after sometime..... )
The reason why these women are so agreeable is because all through their childhoods they have been brought up by parents who directly and indirectly make it known to them that THEY DON'T MATTER, THEIR ORIGINAL OPINIONS DON'T MATTER, THEM HAVING AN OPINION IS A HINDRANCE,
These girls are often taught via subliminal messages that Their main role in life as female children is to be a 'PRINCESS" (WTF?) and they just need to keep sucking up to the dad by being the  "daddy's girl"
These women grow up into idiot adolescents with no personal life goals other than "making some lucky man very happy someday" and do they? NO
They end up emotionally confused and extremely disconnected to their surrounding which sometimes can come across as being pleasant and agreeable
Tags:psychology,psychiatry,women,girl_children,Gender_abuse,gender_discrimination,anger

How NOT TO PANIC..TIDE OVER THAT HALF HOUR OF SEVERE PANIC ATTACK SOMEHOW

This is as much a SELF HELP blog for myself as it is for others like Mr.U and many of you readers who have PANIC ATTACKS..All of us have and will panic at one point of time or another..

Some of us might do it MORE OFTEN than others.

In my INFORMED OPINION(me being a physician and all),Panic attacks are DEFINITELY NOT A MENTAL DISORDER.
Though , when I studied in MED SCHOOL I noted  they do describe it as an ALTERATION FROM A NORMAL  Behavioral RESPONSE TO A SITUATION..

What is "NORMAL" anyways, I ask!

Psychiatry idealistically expects all HUMANS TO BE CLONES...
We are all not clones and therefore we must all be allowed our behavioural quirks,if you may!

So yeah, I wrote an article way back in December 2010.
An article about my new year resolutions back then.
After writing it in a frenzy, I didn't PUBLISH it on the blog.I just published it a few hours ago after suddenly accidentally spotting it in one of my draft files..

If you want to read the WHOLE NY RESOLUTIONS FOR 2011 article(which btw is VERY VERY LONG)look in my RAMBLE BLOG archives to spot it..

When I re-read it last night, I realized that some of the paragraphs in that blog entry could easily qualify as a separate blog entry on this ANTIDOTE TO ANGER BLOG.
HENCE, A partial REPOST is warranted for my psychology/psychiatry article enthusiasts here on this blog
Here goes the repost bit
I have this tendency to make impulsive decisions during that half hour of panic attack and then after that panic attack tides, I still have to abide by those impulsive decisions I made  during the panic attack and /or , track back on those ideas  which is a big big big waste of time.
One impulsive thing I often times do during panic attacks is EMAIL old bfs or try calling family...Trust me, in a panic attack, NOTHING HELPS except yourself consciously TIDING IT OVER CALMLY.

The true personality comes out when....

I think any person's TRUE ACCURATE personality comes out when you
notice how they behave when they feel threatened by someone or
something or a situation.It is so easy to be all GENTLE-PERSON, and
then the fangs start to come out when they perceive a threat!
Grace under pressure is a rare commodity ,no?
Tags:Mr.Green,Mc_nasty,Throwing_someone_under_the_bus,Abandoning,selfish,psychology

Lance Armstrong-SPOOF quote

Spoof quotes are so MISLEADING..
For one, unless you look closely at tags you might mistake it to be a REAL QUOTE.
This is an interesting SPOOF QUOTE written by TMN Contributing Writer Llewellyn Hinkes-Jones
as part of his SPOOF ARTICLE where he PRETENDS TO BE LANCE ARMSTRONG
You can find the original SATIRE piece here, http://www.themorningnews.org/article/marketstrong
( Disclaimer:I DO NOT endorse his writing in any given way.I am just linking to the original source"

START OF SPOOF QUOTE
" Embracing this ethos of pure holistic denial leads one to the path of transcendental disembodiment, allowing your spirit to abandon any sense of shame and separate itself from the torpid existence of the physical plane."
END OF SPOOF QUOTE

It is only when I reached the end of the article , when words like "erotic dawn" and "populist success" started appearing in the essay that I suddenly told myself "Hey ! lance doesn't have such an exhaustively floral english vocabulary at all...He speaks like a texan...come on! Is this a spoof?"
OFCOURSE IT WAS..
Anyways, the reason I am quoting this article is because of the DEPTH OF SENTENCE..where the writer implies how when the spirit abandons any sense of shame, it can function in a state of holistic denial and hyprocrisy!SO TRUE

Same begets same-change the pattern to avoid usual sources of anger

Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.
Some things and people and situations may not work for us in life.They might be anxiety inducing,anger inducing and sadness inducing.The best solution for such UNCHANGEABLE source of anger is to just get away from the source.Unfortunately for many of us, the source of anxiety or sadness are sometimes people very close to us, like our own spouse or family or people at work.Most of us just can't quit out jobs or disown our families...and thus, choose to continue to expose ourselves to the constant source of anxiety induction...
So...this is where the adage SAME BEGETS SAME..comes into play...
So many people who probably get healthy both mentally and physically ,once they are REMOVED FROM THEIR USUAL ANXIETY INDUCING SITUATIONS...tend to go back into their depressive selves once they RE-INTRODUCE THEMSELVES  TO THEIR USUAL ENVIRONMENT.
This is why, so many people who go to a rehab center and seem to apparently do so well in terms of recovery while at the REHAB center...tend to RELAPSE..once they are out of the rehab center and back to their usual selves...and their usual life where they RE-EXPOSE themselves to their old sources of anger and anxiety.
What I am trying to get at here is , So many of us have an INNATE PERSONALITY...and when certain other people in our lives who are have an UNCHANGEABLE PERSONALITY TRAIT of their own that CONFLICTS WITH OUR OWN...no matter , how many times we go try to reconcile and try to change things..PROBLEMS WILL RECUR..They will keep recurring ...till either one party COMPLETELY EMOTIONALLY DETACHES ITSELF AND BECOME STOIC AND DOESN'T REACT ...OR BOTH PARTIES DO SO..much like a lot of couples who continue to stay married but are barely emotionally connected on any level at all...or people who hate their families , yet religiously go attend every thanksgiving and christmas dinner...
Which is why, DIVORCES ARE GOOD...QUITTING JOBS WE DONT' LIKE IS A GREAT IDEA..but,what about parents who completely are incompatible with their children...We can't disown our parents and just walk off like nothing happened, right?parents can't forget their kids and abandon them and walk off(though i have seen so many parents abandon their young needy children for most part)We only have one set of parents and that is it ..right?So yeah.....My point here is....Some people and their innate characteristics are UNCHANGEABLE..and when such unchangeable traits in certain people instantly and undeniably cause you anxiety...the best option is to WALK AWAY AND NOT TRY TO RECONCILE..COZ RE-EXPOSURE TO THE SAME PERSON ,ONLY WILL INDUCE THE SAME INNATE REACTION IN YOU...same reaps same

Screaming at your mother constantly pointing out her shortcomings-how useful is that?

Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.

I am Visiting parents....constant occurance In my home these days...While I am screaming at my own mom in one room.(while my mom stands there listening to my repeated criticisms of her and how she failed as a parent),at around the same time my dad is screaming at his mom in another room of the same house..My dad's mom is 95 yrs old...mind it.....the old lady is getting screamed at by her son...LOL..seriously...NEED THIS BE HAPPENING..he is complaining about how bad a parent she is..LOL..no really..he is 65 years old
MORAL OF THE STORY?
1/we all are defined by our childhood experiences on a thousand different levels..
2/we expect our mom to be a WONDERWOMAN..anything short of us , always disappoints us
3/Screaming doesn't help anyone ever...or maybe it does, to vent.., to put a point across..maybe it works on some level..but there are better methods...maybe..maybe not..NOT SURE ABOUT THIS POINT
4/For some reason...mothers go on a guilt trip much more often than the fathers..so ,it is easier to make them cry with our screaming about how bad a parent they have been ...IS THIS SOCIAL CONDITIONING that makes us all expect more from moms than dads? is it social conditioning that ABSOLVES the dads of an equal responsibility in parenting?(topic for another blog entry)
5/btw..RIGHT NOW i AM WEARING A TSHIRT..THAT SAYs.."DON'T GET ANGRY, GET INVOLVED"
6/We are all children ..we all become kids once in front of our own parents...

Because that is what I thought I deserved

I saw this OPRAH show episode from last year 2010, this episode on this certain  Miss USA who became miss usa and then was later found out to have been addicted to or having used  various pain killers and other drugs  all through the competition and also for many years before that.
When the story first broke out in the media, and when Donald trump took a lot of flak for having her continue as Miss USA inspite of widespread opposition to his decision to let her continue as Miss USA, given the fact that they were knowingly allowing a drug addict to continue do her job as Miss USA, I just let it pass as yet another media sensational story..
It is only after the Oprah interview, that I suddenly paid attention to this whole issue.
Something that this Miss USA girl said during the course of that interview, struck with me for long after i switched off the TV..needless, had to come back and share it on my blog
I usually share PSYCHOLOGY stuff on my Antidote-to-anger blog..So here goes.(if you want to read my other blogs,,look for the top of my blog homepage,,i have links to my other four blogs there)

The girl describes one episode from her teenage years, which struck a personal chord with me(disclaimer, I have never ever taken drugs..ever..but see, the desperate feeling that that is what is you deserve ..is a familiar feeling many teenagers feel, so yeah)
===========================
SHE SAYS AND I QUOTE:
"""" At one party, we were all drinking and i pretended to be MORE WASTED than I actually was so that I could get out of the party sooner.There was this guy, who thought that i was really as wasted as i was pretending to be and so he lifted me and carried me to his car..All along the way to his car, I was fully conscious and was aware of what he was doing and what he was possibly planning to do to me while i was super wasted, but yet, I just pretended that i was wasted..He took me to the car and raped me while i continued to pretend i was wasted.I wasn't really wasted, I could have protested or protected myself, escaped, resisted.But I just lay there and let him do what he wanted to do..I just continued to pretend to be wasted and let him rape me.I DID THAT BECAUSE IN MY HEAD I SUBCONSCIOUSLY FIGURED THAT THAT IS WHAT I DESERVED..."
UNQUOTE
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Then the girl started crying on the oprah interview.
I will tell you why i relate to this.

BEFORE YOU READ FURTHER.PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM NOT TRY TO BE COCKY OR TOOT MY OWN HORN..just stating a situation .please bear with my self praise that follows
I am super talented..I am fully aware of that.totally,I am a doctor.I am good looking. I speak many languages.I do my own home repairs.I am generally loved by my patients and i make friends easily. I am a very very kind and a nice person.My IQ test reports are very high score.I inspire many people each day.I get so many thank yous from friends and strangers alike.I am very talented.I dance , I sing, I paint, I am sporty, I can run 8 miles and not blink..IN SHORT..I am fantastic..I am great..I AM PROUD THAT I AM SO TALENTED TOO..not arrogant..but confident and proud and thankful.
YET..all through my childhood and teen years.I had to take a lot of flak from people because they were nasty to me for the sole reason that THEY FELT THREATENED BY ME or felt like they paled in comparison to me so they had to tarnish my image to make themselves feel better..TRUST ME,bullying out of sheer jealously happens a lot of times in schools and colleges,much more than you can imagine..Many talented people get singled out and harrassed for the sole reason that they are smarter or talented than the rest.I HAVE BEEN A VICTIM of that all through school and college.
So, this kind of harrasment has ALTERED MY PSYCHE in a manner where on many occasions, I have underplayed my talents..
Instead of being confident.I would dumb down the way i speak just to fit in a group of young people who are nothing but mediocre..LEST THEY GET JEALOUS AND THEN START HARRASSING ME .ya know.
so yeah...
and I have no idea why,but INSPITE OF BEING SO TALENTED,I choose the MOST RETARTED, MOST TWISTED, MOST INADEQUATE FLAWED PERSONALITIES TO DATE
A lot of remarkable men ask me out..I will analyze them and will refuse a date if there is a logical reason of possible future incompatibility.I AM PICKY when good men ask me out..then finally,after being very picky, I will then finally go pick up a PROJECT for myself..
By "project" I mean,someone who is a LOT OF WORK to be with,a very damaged, very downtrodden person intellectually, a very unattractive or average looking person, a very unethical person or unkind selfish immature person and then want to have a relationship with them
WONDER WHY I DO that :((( ..truly..such a person WILL NOT EMOTIONALLY OR INTELLECTUALLY FULFIL ME.I am so so smart..yet..why do I do that?
Do I do it to make msyelf feel like a SAINT..who is unselfish and is only having a relationship with somebody out of sheer kindness?
Do I do it because I LIKE THE CHALLENGE? like,I want the mental and emotional challenge of having to deal with an INCONVENIENT INCOMPATIBLE relationship, to see how smart I am.to actually turn it all around and make it work?
or
DO I DO IT COZ I THINK SOMEWHERE IN THE BACK OF MY MIND >>> THAT IS WHAT I DESERVE?
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