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EXCERPTS FROM ROBIN NORWOOOD'S BOOK " WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH" -PART 1
PAGE NO 176
The part very relevant for me in defining my relationship with mr.green-SELF-ANALYSIS
For the woman who loves too much,the practice of denial,magnanimously rephrased as "overlooking his faults" or "keeping a positive attitude," conveniently sidesteps the TWO-TO-TANGO aspect of how his shortcomings allow her to practice her familiar roles.When her drive to control masquerades as "being helpful" and "giving encouragement",WHAT IS IGNORED again is her own need for the superiority and power implied in this kind of interaction!
MY ANALYSIS OF MY PAST RELATIONSHIP WITH MR.GREEN using this quote as a reference
First off,GUILTY AS CHARGED.
I mean,when I go read my old emails to him or my old blog entries about him,I notice that I constantly use words or phrases that amount to,OVERLOOKING HIS FAULTS,blah blah blah, AND BEING HELPFUL,blah blah blah and GIVING ENCOURAGEMENT,
Infact,FUNNILy,given that I am a doctor and well versed in psychiatry,in an ironic manner,I MYSELF mentioned the TWO-TO-TANGO analogy too somewhere in my tweets and emails back then.
I think My decision to get romantically involved with mr.green ,DEFINITELY had elements of "MY OWN NEEDS FOR SUPERIORITY and power"...coz,see,It all started off with me trying to have COUNSELING CONVERSATIONS WITH HIM FOR HIS ALCOHOLISM.
He kept steering the conversations into a sexually toned conversation.
I mean,i am a doctor.so,seriously,I SHOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN INVOLVED WITH HIM ROMANTICALLY given how troubled he was.But I did.why?
The reason why i thought it was okay to do so ,was coz,somewhere in the deepest depths of my mind,I was enjoying that NEED FOR SUPERIORITY that comes with being that ENCOURAGING WOMAN TO A TROUBLED ALCOHOLIC MAN?
hmmmmm,also,the whole time that the interaction lasted,I was clearly AWARE that there was something wrong in me,for wanting to be with him.LOL..AND I KEPT MENTIONING THAT IN EMAILS TO HIM...seriously.wtf!
I am a 34yr old board certified female physician aka medical doctor.I have studied enough psychiatry to be able to write articles on human psychology and psychiatry with an informed authority.As is evident from this blog of mine,I do infact WRITE articles on various aspects of socio-psychology from time to time.
I personally frown upon plagiarism and thus HAVE TO INSIST that quoting from norwood's book is NOT an effort in plagiarism.I could very well attempt to write articles on these very topics that I am now quoting using norwood's words,but since I notice,that she has already done such a good and eloquent job of writing about the topics I am discussing here and since my blogs are essentially advertisement-free and since I don't earn any money from my blog entries,and since norwood's book was first published in 1985 and it has almost been more than 25 years since then,quoting words from her book for NON-COMMERCIAL educational purposes might qualify as FAIR-USAGE?
Just for the sake of copyright,I am going to provide the name of the publishers who currently are associated with the book .
The name of the book from which I am quoting excerpts is WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH.
The name of the publishers ?
POCKET BOOKS which is a DIVISION of SIMON AND SCHUSTER INC. ,NYC.
They have a website and if you wish to procure a copy of this book,surely,they are the right people to be contacted.
Here I have to CLARIFY,that I have NOT been paid by them or anyone else ,to quote excerpts from this book,nor have I been paid in any form or kind ,to mention them or the book in my blog.I am just doing this to share some relevant parts of the book for educational purposes for the benefit of my blog readers.
This book was first published in 1984 by pocket books.The copy I own was purchased from an used book store in 2005 and was a 1997,special tenth anniversary edition.
I may not completely agree with EVERYTHING in this book.However,so many sections are relevant NOT just to women,but also to men even in today's circumstances and times,27years since the book was first published.
MY PERSONAL ADVICE ABOUT SELF-HELP BOOKS?
Whenever we read a book ,or read anything anywhere for that matter,IT IS UP TO US,to take and assimilate whatever applies to us and whatever strikes right to us and leave behind what our mind percieves as something we don't want to learn.
IT IS ALL A VOLUNTARY EFFORT OF SELF DISCOVERY.There is absolutely no need to AGREE with everything every self-help book writer says.But,if something in a book or blog ,TOUCHES A CHORD in you,then assimilate it into your being, is all I am saying.
To me,it felt like,norwood almost makes you feel BAD for wanting to help others ,coz,see,according to the book,if you try to help someone out,then that means there is something WRONG WITH YOUR HEAD?
pun apart,really though,THERE IS nothing wrong with wanting to help others.INFACT,there are chances that there MAY BE NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU,if you want to help others.Infact,helping others is a great idea too.
Probably,what she is trying to say through this book is that HELPING OTHERS at the cost of your own physical and mental health IS A RED FLAG.And I agree with her.But again ,I still think that helping others is a great idea!
Having said all this,there are some other topics in her book,which are VERY RELEVANT ,for all of us,AS THINKING FEELING HUMAN BEINGS and as human beings who have emotionally shut ourselves down to a point of numbness.
This book was on the NUMBER ONE newyorktimes bestseller list.But,then,I don't really place much importance to the nytimes bestseller list,coz,all kindsa IDIOT BOOKS do make it to that list..so,yeah,don't go by bestseller lists.
Just read and assimilate what you feel is right.k?