some women just encourage their family members to victimize them

well, the thing is, sometimes some women gently encourage their family members to act selfish, just so that they can pass off as a martyr..I think this tendency to slowly and slyly encourage them to behave like monsters so that they can then go ahead and pose as this hapless victim that does things for everyone at home, stems from a deep sense of insecurity and malicious thought process there of, where they see themselves completely incapable of winning love unless they play these games.It also stems from lack of self confidence where they think that they really are not capable of doing anything on their own and yet and therefore have to decided to devise methods where they can 'fool' other people to think they are useful in some way.I use the world fool here not because i think they are fooling people..i use the word fool coz they think they are fooling other people into believing they are useful in someway coz they themselves have started viewing themselves are useless .
A good sign of self loathing where in their heart of hearts they feel that unless they victimize themselves or play the victim, there just is going to be no possibility that anyone will value them ever.They dread a scenario where no one is the victim and yet they are indispensible.they view themselves as dispensible which is exactly why they try to create a situation where they want to pose as someone who is giving up a lot of self dignity to make the relationship to survive.
this is a pathetic plan.they need to respect themselves enough and make themselves worthy enough to still be needed even if there is no victimization involved at all.
I mean after all, people can just like another person just because of the way they are not and not because of the things this person does for them..Ya know...To actually imagine that unless you create sceanarios where you prove that you are abused and yet decide to be the jesus christ of the relationship where you let yourself get abused and such, only indicates a lot of self loathing that you have for yourself where you think that unless you are the jesus christ of the relationship no one will want to be around you.
Come on,have a life, do things you want to do..don't depend on other people .You life should not depend on someone else going on a guilt trip.
Do things that make you feel independent and self worthy.You should have choices and be proud of things that you do on your own .That way you don't need to depend on someone else's good books.That paves the way for non guilt trip dependant relationships where mutual respect and real camaraderie is what survives the relationship.