How not to be angry?

I get angry with a lot of people around.Whom does that affect>?That anger ,,just the anger ! well..If i don't express to the person that they are causing me the anger, then the anger is most likely going to affect me in a negative manner.
I figured out how to not be angry..I could even before the anger reaches the brim, start expressing my displeasure to this person that is causing the anger.
Well! That is only possible if a specific person is causing me specific displeasure.What if i am getting angry at the shallowness and stupidity of people on TV ..what is the solution..Either write a blog about it or write to the tv producers and if any of that is not possible..be smart enough to not let all of that affect me..I guess that last mentioned method is the method most people adopt to be so desensitized with things that they can go by each day without getting angry or affected by anything unless it is directly affecting them in some way.They don't care if someone litters the place, they don't care if illegals start gang bangings groups in the US, they don't care if people are getting stupider by the day in the US, they don't care if all that is there on TV is some trash gossip about some stupid actors in the entertainment industry.
Gosh ! Why do i care so much?LOL

some women just encourage their family members to victimize them

well, the thing is, sometimes some women gently encourage their family members to act selfish, just so that they can pass off as a martyr..I think this tendency to slowly and slyly encourage them to behave like monsters so that they can then go ahead and pose as this hapless victim that does things for everyone at home, stems from a deep sense of insecurity and malicious thought process there of, where they see themselves completely incapable of winning love unless they play these games.It also stems from lack of self confidence where they think that they really are not capable of doing anything on their own and yet and therefore have to decided to devise methods where they can 'fool' other people to think they are useful in some way.I use the world fool here not because i think they are fooling people..i use the word fool coz they think they are fooling other people into believing they are useful in someway coz they themselves have started viewing themselves are useless .
A good sign of self loathing where in their heart of hearts they feel that unless they victimize themselves or play the victim, there just is going to be no possibility that anyone will value them ever.They dread a scenario where no one is the victim and yet they are indispensible.they view themselves as dispensible which is exactly why they try to create a situation where they want to pose as someone who is giving up a lot of self dignity to make the relationship to survive.
this is a pathetic plan.they need to respect themselves enough and make themselves worthy enough to still be needed even if there is no victimization involved at all.
I mean after all, people can just like another person just because of the way they are not and not because of the things this person does for them..Ya know...To actually imagine that unless you create sceanarios where you prove that you are abused and yet decide to be the jesus christ of the relationship where you let yourself get abused and such, only indicates a lot of self loathing that you have for yourself where you think that unless you are the jesus christ of the relationship no one will want to be around you.
Come on,have a life, do things you want to do..don't depend on other people .You life should not depend on someone else going on a guilt trip.
Do things that make you feel independent and self worthy.You should have choices and be proud of things that you do on your own .That way you don't need to depend on someone else's good books.That paves the way for non guilt trip dependant relationships where mutual respect and real camaraderie is what survives the relationship.

Passing the ball in the child rearing dept.

yet again, i was reading this blog entry on Peggy's blog about How ultra orthodox israeli women received their biotechnology degrees after recieving training in the field in segregrated classes with intructors trying to teach while still following strict religious stipulations and there was one sentence on there at how, child maitenence was provided to them during the course of the training and also how the cribs were lined at the aisle while they lined up at the graduation ceremony at aisles...hmmmm
here is a copy of the comment i left on there
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btw.i also felt when i read the sentence ,"Baby carriages lined the aisles", that they were trying to somehow put the whole responsibility of child rearing on the women.It was almost like they were sending a subliminal message to the women in general that no matter what they do , they better be equipped to take the whole responsibility of child rearing all on their own.I have seen that in many societies, this kind of indirect discouragement by still making them take full responsibility of the children even if they work oustide , eventually makes the women chose to stay home out of sheer resentment that they have to do double the work even if they work outside and make money anyways, so why not sit home and make the men make money since the men wont help them raise the children.ya know.reverse psychology is some way.family feuds in another way.hmmmmm.
1:22 PM

What causes anger?

I think anger mostly stems from this inability to do anything to correct a situation which causes distress and this may be anything from oppressive parents or an oppressive spouse on whom you are financially dependant .It Could be anything or anyone from whom you feel you have no choice to get away from...That helplessness when compounded from repeat occurance of the same distress gets bottled up in anger and if this anger is not unbottled in a conscious manner by assessing and acknowledging the actual cause of distress, it might end up causing a change in personality pattern.
I have seen quite a few people who are abused by their parents who end being the same worthless parent that caused them such distress.I have see this relative of mine..All her life , she was treated like dirt at her home by her mother and now she is a parent and she herself ends up behaving the same nasty way with her own daughter.Hmmmm.I would think she would actually make an effort to be different..but i think sometimes people are like that...Prolly this is the only chance in life she is getting to talk down to someone or to control someone else's life...and she is knocking herself out...the hapless child..hmmm