Withdrawing yourself from distressing people and situations reduces anger development

Some situations are uniquely distressfully.
There is no apparent reason, but you feel uncomfortable. You get a headache or you just don't feel happy.
This has happenned to me sometimes, especially when i oblige and sit with groups during conversations and the most mundane stupid gossipy dicussions ensue. I have nothing to contribute at all, I just can't care any less about gossip. Then again, even just sitting there and listening to them talk crap really kinda gives me a headache which lingers for long afterwards.
Anways, needless to say, no point trying to dis associate oneself while still being a audience to such gossip sessions. I did write about disassociation as a method to deal with anger, But that technique doesn't help here.
So yeah, Just avoiding these gossip groups really helps me. I mean, I might as well go eat lunch alone under a tree or in the parking lot, alone and lonely, but hey, I don't have a headache that i have to deal with a later point of time.
Same thing with certain people. They seeminly look like your type. They are logically not suppossed to be giving you a headache since they are so much like you or so you think. But, for some reason , interacting with them dooesn't work for you. Maybe you overread things or expect too much coz they are so much like you and then like all things , the quality of conversation falls short coz you were expecting too much to begin with and such. So , what happens then is a headache. Ironically, sometimes, you have no real expectations from certain people and when in such occasions, even a minute spark kinda makes you feel better. sad but true. The more you expect, the greater the chances of disappointment. So yeah, sometimes , it is better to avoid any contact with such people too who for no apparent reason are able to give you that clouded head feeling.
This has happenned to me in the last 4 days, First a warmish reconnection, then frantic to and fro interaction(since it happenned after months of peafully blissful disconnection) and then slowly it started grating on my nerves. It takes a toll on me. gives me a headache, some underlying lurking incompatibility. So, I just decided that i must go back to his previous mode of blissful disconnection. Just walk away. don't bother what is happenning there on that other side . Who care? Not my business. Not unless i want a splitting headache each day.

So yes, i am withdrawing, completely. Atleast for now. Coz this interaction is not working for me. It is too negative, inexplicably so . Sorry. Going into self preservation mode

An analogy for Internet stealing

When people steal in real life they feel guilty.But when people steal other people's pictures, poems, blogs, research papers, essays etc on the internet, they are not even aware they are stealing. Because you know, they don't visualize it as stealing, since it is the internet.
I think many people who do this actually are clueless to the fact that such copypasting is illegal and punishable by law.
Anyways, to drive in the intensity of the act into your heads , I am going to give you an analogy.
Someone leaves their home unlocked. As a goodwill gesture, a gesture of trust in community. The house is open. You sneak in. you walk around, you like the place. Then you open the refrigerator. There is a large chocolate cake. You eat a piece of it. You like it so much, you look around to see if anyone is there to object if you picked up the cake and ran for the door. Ofcourse no one is at home. YOu grab the cake and make a run. You live far far away, Say perhaps UK. You take the cake with you to UK and then you showcase the cake at your home. YOu invite guests over and then offer this stolen cake to them and then you lie about how you made the cake yourself.
Well, the above scenario is much akin to when someone visits my website, reads my poems, likes them, realizes that my WALKING IN CIRCLES POEM would be so apt for their weddingnirvana eternal circles theme, and promptly, they do some copypaste, coz you know, I am not physcially there to rap their knuckles when they do the copypaste steal, and then happily post it on their blog.


think about it, Internet stealing is stealing too.if you wont steal a cake from someone's home without their permission, you should not steal a poem from someone's site either.

Heya, I am happy

Okay, first off, I think something someone said kinda made a big positive difference or some such.
Or possibly the self acknowledgement that i am lazy with the seriously spooky nightmare did the trick.
Either ways, I finished studing a whole large book all of 530 pages all in a period of one day. This I did with long lounging breaks too.
I did have episodes of hypoglycemia induces slowing down.
But hey, I finished it.
Feels great.
But then , I think i am completely riled up.
I feel pukey and nervous too.
Too excited coz i have a few more days of this horrible drudgery to do .
I need a hug. Is anyone listening?
Ehugs will do. gimme some will ya?
Yeah, also , can someone tell me how to fix a paperback book where all the pages are seperated from the spine ?
I mean, I had been reading this 530 page book constantly underlining on it and making notes all over the page and now it is an abused book with ripped off pages. I need to stick them back onto the spine. Gimme tips please.
Yeah, also, thanks for the "best wishes" Thanks. They are deeply appreciated and cherished.
Love and hugs

Voluntary Isolation helps deal with inner angst !

Few people get the opportunity to actually manage to seclude themselves if they wanted to.
Usually many of us have spouses whom we suddenly cannot send packing off coz we need alone time --I mean, "don't even say Hi to me when you see me" kinda seclusion.
i like to take these seclusion sabbaticals from time to time. It helps to unwind like crazy(ooops, like not crazy)
Buy groceries good enough for a week, and stay indoors. yeah, If you don't have any work deadline then watching tv or browsing the internet is okay, But as is my case now, If you have a serious work deadline , then no tv, no newspaper, no nonwork books and no internet for most part unless for research purposes and voila, seclusion leading to productivity.
More producitivity, less anger.
We as people are more likely to ignore the small bad things when we are generally happy and productive otherwise.
So, yes, truly taking a mini sabattical.
All of my readers can read my older blog entries if they revisit and find no updates.
peace

Internet thieves

Some Internet thief just stole one of my own poem from my other site Poetry and prose and happily posted it on their website.
they never wrote to me asking for permission.
they never linked back.
Nothing.
Useless plagiarists.
Seriously, obviously, i am angry

I am gonna take a bit of my own advice

I am gonna try and rest my overworked brain by going on a mini sabbatical where i am going to be selfishly disassociated.
lemme try.
it just might work for me to get back to being an overachiever.

First hit the baby, then pacify it?

You know, there are some people who are passive aggressive and highly manipulative.
I think i have said this before on this blog,but gonna say again that
 passive aggressive behaviour stems from a deep sense of shame.
Any person who has a very low opinion about oneself  feels that they have no right to openly ask for things and get them.But yet, they still want whatever it is that they covet. Therefore,they end up being highly manipulative and passive aggressive.
These passive aggressive people have such malicious twisted methods of operation that it deeply angers me.


I also note that ,for some reason, the very undeserving and talentless people are the very ones who are very greedy too. They want all that they don't deserve and they go any far to get what they want.And they also try to pretend to not want it,while in their heart of hearts they surely want it and have already schemed a manipulative plan to achieve it too. They act cool on the outside while making sure they plan things enough to ensure someone is snared into their boobie trap. They are malicious focks like that.

In conjunction to the same topic, let us also discuss TALENTLESS people who have managed to be in a relationship with a TALENTED person.It is an UNSAVORY MATCH...
I have noticed that TALENTLESS people deliberately choose and try to be in relationships with people who are very talented .These talentless fockers somehow derive a self esteem just by the fact that they are sleeping with a talented person.

Just because the talented person is stupid enough to sleep with you doesn't make you talented by association.You just continue to be the same ole stupid talentless fuck who just happens to be sleeping with a talented person.

Here i mean > the really stupid women who want to be wives of scientists so that they can have smart kids.JEEEZ
Dude! What if the kid gets your dumb genes? And yeah , also, children get smart because of their upbringing. You being the stupid f*ck of a mom, what kind of guidance do you plan to give a kid to make them smart? nada!
YET, you want smart kids.How and why?

Speaking of  "Ill-fitting matches between contrasts"
 Let us also talk about "ugly as hell" men who want pretty wives, as their trophy wives.
 Dude!Essentially you really don't care about the sexual satisifaction of your wife , huh? The pretty wife must just do with an ugly f*ck like you coz you provide her spending money? What is this? BRIDE BUYING?

So, you want a trophy wife so you can SHOW the onlookers as part of a POWER DISPLAY, as to how  a pretty lil thing married you..
Marrying a pretty thing does NOT make you any more pretty looking , you just remain the same. yeah? So, cut the greediness and bury it.
Marriages cannot and should not be business deals..Sex should be just for love and not money and sex between equals is AMAZING!

Anyways, coming back to the  pysche behind "PASSIVE AGRESSIVE peeps" > these people derive self esteem from the fact that they were able to MANIPULATE a talented/pretty/good person  to love them .

How horribly malicious are their methods of entrapping a person ?.
However,what these malicious people forget is, you can entrap a person by pretending to be this and that, but then, how long are you going to pretend? a lifetime?

They are creating a suffocating environment for themselves by signing up for a life time of pretence inorder to ensure that  talented person continues to  be interested in them,because they started off the whole relationship with a lot of pretending. Very complicated!
Also, the malicious plan never REALLYworks!The whole time ,they know they are pretending.Somewhere they are aware that  if they didn't pretend, there is a great possibility that they talented person  won't really love the REAL THEM
What essentially happens is that though the talented person might offer them real plain "love of gold", The pretender, due to the self-awareness about how fake they are, are now NOT IN A POSITION TO ACCEPT THAT LOVE coming their way without being skeptical.

Coming back to the malicious methods adapted by "lesser beings" to trap "greater beings" to be with them,
Let me give you an example.They closely observe their targets to find out what MOVES them.
I mean, If they know that this person gets emotional about a certain issue, they use this knowledge as a tool to pretend they are really into the same issues,all just an effort to make sure this "target" person doesn't leave them.

This kind of MANIPULATION indicates the deep amount of disregard they have for anyone's rights. I mean, does the  person deserve such a TRAP?
 Is love all about passive aggressive games and emotional abuse?

If they sense that the other person is more likely to turn to them each time they get distressed, these monsters actually slyly create such distress to this TARGET person.
Constantly creating distress to a person knowing clearly that THEY ARE THE PERSON this target will run to during a time of distress, and then when the target runs to them, they COOLY pacify the target, just to earn some TRUST AND GOODWILL POINTS>> is what we call EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION.
This is what I call " first hit, then pacify" syndrome.

You know,IN THOSE ITALIAN MOVIES, men get some other people to create trouble for a woman first and then pretend to be just walking by and then pretend to help the woman in distress ..when actually the whole thing was a big set up.
Just like in those italian movies, where the male lead's friends try to molest her and then the male lead comes over and bashes them up and then takes home the woman. As if the woman is some stupid thing which only deserves to be manipulated and whisked away. and such.
There are women too that do this kind of manipulation  and then they pretend like they are the saint women that tolerate the infedilities of their partner and how inspite of all the pain, they still have the back of the man and such.

Playing the victim is yet another ploy that people without ethics employ to submit their partner into guilt and not allowing them to walk away from the relationship.. hmmm.What games people play.

I pity the people who are in relationships with manipulative malicious fockers and can't get out coz they are too afraid about what other people will think coz they have seen you together quite too often.
I have once been there, and I am glad i am not anymore. but the anger stays.

The anger returns when I see other people like me who are with completely malicious fockers. Get out of there already!
 No one has got your back.
Your "loved"one is the perpetrator of all the malice themselves.
They  isolate you to such an extent  that you cling on to them more and  they drag you into their focking mess to such an extent  that you forget that they are the messed up one.
Dear TARGET PERSON, No one has got your back. No one ever will.
No one needs to have your back either.
We all come into this world alone, We will all leave this world alone.
We don't need no "back holders"...You have a great independant back and can you get out of it already? It distresses me to be this mute spectator.

Disassociation as an ego defence

You know , when people are in situations where the source of pain is someone that is family or is related to them and when there is no way they can get rid of this constant source of pain, they have a very unique way to deal with it.
Such people develop a diassociated personality.
A stoic personality if you will.
They develop a shell around that pain and bury it deep in their head.
Such people can surprisingly perform very well at work and life in general coz nothing affects them. They continue to work hard no matter what.
Such an ego defence works great in terms of productivity, as in , a person can become an overachiever inspite of all the mess in their personal life. But having said that, they are walking on a fine line.
If one days suddenly something makes that shell to break up, then suddenly they are wreck.coz waves of pain then surge and submerge them forever from that very painful place they decided to forget forever. Hmmmmm.
You know,like a gangsta happily going arouund killing people for years, without a thought and then suddenly, one day after years, suddenly some realization about that truth about their life and the people around them dawns on them.They are such a wreck.Ya know, the gangsta then end up crying day in day out like crazy?
Just like a great dam broke..Hmmmm
anyways,gotta go now.