About STAYING in INCOMPATIBLE relationships for fear of public gossip-MY MED SCHOOL STORIES-July 2008-LETTERS TO MR.U
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EXCERPT FROM THE EMAIL
START OF EXCERPT
I have undergone immense distress due to this constant scrutiny and constant gossip that sometimes i have thought twice before breaking up relationships which i already knew were not working out for me .
Infact, i had once dated this guy in full view of the gossip club and this guy really turned out to be not my type at all.
Infact , he perhaps was just another one of those ordinary gossipers who was smart enough to just use silence as a way to mask that talentless ordinariness of his, just coz he wanted to be the guy who got to date me ...ya know..the trophy girlfriend factor.
And since i went out in full public view to start dating someone,i was under immense pressure to even back out, i continued on with this relationship long after i realized that he was not good enough for me , just coz i was not ready to deal with a public break up which would then further somehow encourage other men trying to come over to me asking me out now that they know that i dated this seemingly ordinary guy.
I didnt want to deal with the further onslaught of intense gossip sessions of people discussing how i broke up with this guy and what not.
I went on and on with this incompatible relationship for years coz i didnt want to stand there alone and face the music ..five years..the whole of med school...I could have just broken up with this guy after the second date(by then i knew that this silent guy was silent for a reason -he just didnt want to out to me that he was no special and infact had the most ugliest of skeletons in his insecure cupboard)...hmmmmmm.
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MY 2012 POSTNOTE for the blog!!
funnily and sadly, I AM OUT of this med school relationship that i talk about in this email to MR.U. AND it has been years now,
but now, I see mr.u doing the "staying in relationships" though he clearly knows by the third date, that she is not right for him, coz he is SO SCARED OF the reaction of the onlookers...i have no idea how to advice him anymore, coz, HE REPEATS THIS PATTERN....what can I do, but to just watch or even better, just STOP watching even...I HAVE TO LET HIM go through the motions all by himself and in the process if he ends up drinking more and becoming a pale lifeless version of himself, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING..coz see, after nine years, I AM DONE WITH HIM...:((((
I HAVE TO LET Him FACE THE WORLD alone , on his own...The mama bird is gonna kick the baby bird out of the cozy nest..he is on his own emotionally from now on..